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12 Abilities Shared By Horror Icons & Super Heroes

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First off, if you’re some sort of superhero buff you should know that my knowledge of the Marvel and DC mythos is limited to the popular ones. So if you’re hungering for an intelligent look at the hidden connections between iconic serial killers and superheroes this probably won’t satiate your appetite. However, if you’ve been desperately searching, all your life no doubt, for an article that shallowly discusses the fairly obvious and sometimes random similarities between the two than I’m happy to say you’ve finally come to the right place. And if you’re a member of the former category, go ahead and dive in, I’ll even let you make fun of me when I get my facts wrong, and to be perfectly honest, I could use the views.

1. They Have X-Ray Vision


No matter where you hide, they will find you. What at first glance looks like a deliciously cheesy tagline for an indie horror flick is actually a common feature in horror films. Look back at every horror film you’ve ever watched and you’ll notice it. The half-naked chick hides in a closet, under a bed, inside a hollowed out cow, and the killer always finds her. They can see you, that’s why.

2. They’re Telekinetic


Confused? Let me massage the doubt from your mind. My only proof of this, besides the killers that actually are telekinetic, is the abundance of tripping found in horror films. This is obviously a cleverly hidden skill found in many horror icons so we won’t know of their ability to place objects in our path. This is really the only reason I can think of as to what could cause all the tripping in horror films. Either these people are excruciatingly uncoordinated or the killer chasing them is throwing shit in their way to slow them down.

3. They’re Stronger Than Ten Retarded Chimpanzees


In case you weren’t aware, Chimpanzees are strong, and the ones who ride the short bus are infinitely stronger. You can see evidence of this in almost every horror film; they can decapitate and sometimes even bisect people with a single swipe of their knife and lift impossibly heavy objects (Michael Myers flipped a fucking car in Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2!)

4. They Have Nine (or possibly more) Lives


Sequel after sequel, death after death and these persistent bastards keep coming back. Why? Because they have many lives. Sometimes the bad guy can die more than one time in a single film. I’m not entirely sure how this compares to the realm of superheroes since I can’t think of any that have multiple lives so I’ll leave that clarification up to the Uber Nerds.

5. They’re Like Mules


I saw that. You just cocked your head like I just told you that Santa is, in fact, real and wants to have your babies. I should clarify this comparison to mules because comparing killers to tiny horses might seem a little strange. What I meant was they’re like scary, bloodthirsty mules, and with the exception of an elite few, have no sense of humor. If any mules are reading this and find that hurtful, please don’t get angry. I’m not mule racist, it’s just that out of all the mules I’ve met none have laughed at my jokes so, naturally, I’ve decided none of them have a sense of humor (because everyone laughs at my jokes. Everyone.)

But I digress, so let’s get to the point of this comparison. What I meant, before I demeaned the entire mule race, was that the serial killers we’ve come to know and love have the endurance of a mule. This mule-like trait (God, how many times have I said mule in this paragraph?) is the only reason a fat man wearing a mask and apron can wield a chainsaw while chasing multitudes of screaming people through several films.

6. They’re Fucking Fast (like a Cheetah)


Notice how they walk towards their desperately fleeting prey and still manage to catch up at the last second? That’s because of the super speed, my friend. They deceive us into thinking they’re slow, or possibly that they are just asthmatic, so we underestimate their agility. Just when the seeds of confidence have been sewn they strike out from the darkness and scare the living hell out of everyone.

7. They Can Turn Invisible


Despite several of these guys weighing more than the average person they can come up behind you without anyone noticing the giant machete-wielding dude. But that’s not the only time they employ this technique: sometimes they even vanish into thin air as you’re staring right at them.

8. They’re Very Resourceful


Again, the connection between heroes and killers is weak here but I really wanted to say ’12 Abilities’ because ’11 Abilities’ just doesn’t have that pizzazz, you know? Anyways, while most of these dudes favor the sharpened blade approach when they do their killing, sometimes you just can’t find a suitable kitchen utensil. This is when these guys use the environment to their advantage by drowning, crushing, choking, or coming up with other, more clever ways to kill.

9. They Can Read Your Mind


Scary thought, right? Well, stop thinking because they can read your fucking mind! If they don’t have x-ray vision or the ability to turn invisible how else would they know where you are? Duh. They’re telepathic. This is the only way they could possibly know where you are, where you’re going, what scares you, and what you did last Summer. Alright, maybe not that last one, but it’s still the only explanation.

10. They Can’t Feel Pain


Ever notice how they can get punched, drowned, kicked, stabbed, shot, set on fire, blown up, crushed, or maimed and still keep coming at you as if they felt nothing? That’s because they probably didn’t. Were they born with Congenital Analgia or are they simply the spawn of Satan and therefore, are impervious to pain? You decide.

11. They Can Fly


Very few, well only one that I can think of, has this ability: the Creeper from the Jeeper’s Creepers films. You know you’re royally fucked when you’re being chased by a serial killer who has the ability to swoop down and kill you from above. Or better yet, he doesn’t even have to get close, he can just throw one of his demon themed ninja stars and kill you from a mile away.

12. They’re Evil Geniuses


The scariest enemy of all is one who can outsmart you. You may have observed they’re uncanny ability to take out hordes of horny teens without breaking a sweat. That’s because of some serious strategizing (and the aforementioned qualities can’t hurt). They also realize that you’ll be a lot easier, and hell of a lot more entertaining to kill when you’re shitting your pants with fear and that’s why they like to hide your friend’s carcasses around the area like a messed up Easter Egg hunt to really fuck with your mind. The newer killers, for example the ones without a pedigree like Jason, Myers, and Freddy, are able to enjoy messing with us even more by manipulating everyone to think the killer is among them. When you don’t trust anyone, you tend to separate, making you easier to pick off one by one.

Now that you’ve finished reading this inspiring bundle of wisdom and bad grammar, why don’t you head on over to the comments section and let me know how much you disagree.

Gamer, writer, terrible dancer, longtime toast enthusiast. Legend has it Adam was born with a controller in one hand and the Kraken's left eye in the other. Legends are often wrong.

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Editorials

‘Immaculate’ – A Companion Watch Guide to the Religious Horror Movie and Its Cinematic Influences

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The Devils - Immaculate companion guide
Pictured: 'The Devils' 1971

The religious horror movie Immaculate, starring Sydney Sweeney and directed by Michael Mohan, wears its horror influences on its sleeves. NEON’s new horror movie is now available on Digital and PVOD, making it easier to catch up with the buzzy title. If you’ve already seen Immaculate, this companion watch guide highlights horror movies to pair with it.

Sweeney stars in Immaculate as Cecilia, a woman of devout faith who is offered a fulfilling new role at an illustrious Italian convent. Cecilia’s warm welcome to the picture-perfect Italian countryside gets derailed soon enough when she discovers she’s become pregnant and realizes the convent harbors disturbing secrets.

From Will Bates’ gothic score to the filming locations and even shot compositions, Immaculate owes a lot to its cinematic influences. Mohan pulls from more than just religious horror, though. While Immaculate pays tribute to the classics, the horror movie surprises for the way it leans so heavily into Italian horror and New French Extremity. Let’s dig into many of the film’s most prominent horror influences with a companion watch guide.

Warning: Immaculate spoilers ahead.


Rosemary’s Baby

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The mother of all pregnancy horror movies introduces Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow), an eager-to-please housewife who’s supportive of her husband, Guy, and thrilled he landed them a spot in the coveted Bramford apartment building. Guy proposes a romantic evening, which gives way to a hallucinogenic nightmare scenario that leaves Rosemary confused and pregnant. Rosemary’s suspicions and paranoia mount as she’s gaslit by everyone around her, all attempting to distract her from her deeply abnormal pregnancy. While Cecilia follows a similar emotional journey to Rosemary, from the confusion over her baby’s conception to being gaslit by those who claim to have her best interests in mind, Immaculate inverts the iconic final frame of Rosemary’s Baby to great effect.


The Exorcist

Dick Smith makeup The Exorcist

William Friedkin’s horror classic shook audiences to their core upon release in the ’70s, largely for its shocking imagery. A grim battle over faith is waged between demon Pazuzu and priests Damien Karras (Jason Miller) and Lankester Merrin (Max von Sydow). The battleground happens to be a 12-year-old, Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair), whose possessed form commits blasphemy often, including violently masturbating with a crucifix. Yet Friedkin captures the horrifying events with stunning cinematography; the emotional complexity and shot composition lend elegance to a film that counterbalances the horror. That balance between transgressive imagery and artful form permeates Immaculate as well.


Suspiria

Suspiria

Jessica Harper stars as Suzy Bannion, an American newcomer at a prestigious dance academy in Germany who uncovers a supernatural conspiracy amid a series of grisly murders. It’s a dance academy so disciplined in its art form that its students and faculty live their full time, spending nearly every waking hour there, including built-in meals and scheduled bedtimes. Like Suzy Bannion, Cecilia is a novitiate committed to learning her chosen trade, so much so that she travels to a foreign country to continue her training. Also, like Suzy, Cecilia quickly realizes the pristine façade of her new setting belies sinister secrets that mean her harm. 


What Have You Done to Solange?

What Have You Done to Solange

This 1972 Italian horror film follows a college professor who gets embroiled in a bizarre series of murders when his mistress, a student, witnesses one taking place. The professor starts his own investigation to discover what happened to the young woman, Solange. Sex, murder, and religion course through this Giallo’s veins, which features I Spit on Your Grave’s Camille Keaton as Solange. Immaculate director Michael Mohan revealed to The Wrap that he emulated director Massimo Dallamano’s techniques, particularly in a key scene that sees Cecilia alone in a crowded room of male superiors, all interrogating her on her immaculate status.


The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

In this Giallo, two sisters inherit their family’s castle that’s also cursed. When a dark-haired, red-robed woman begins killing people around them, the sisters begin to wonder if the castle’s mysterious curse has resurfaced. Director Emilio Miraglia infuses his Giallo with vibrant style, with the titular Red Queen instantly eye-catching in design. While the killer’s design and use of red no doubt played an influential role in some of Immaculate’s nightmare imagery, its biggest inspiration in Mohan’s film is its score. Immaculate pays tribute to The Red Queen Kills Seven Times through specific music cues.


The Vanishing

The Vanishing

Rex’s life is irrevocably changed when the love of his life is abducted from a rest stop. Three years later, he begins receiving letters from his girlfriend’s abductor. Director George Sluizer infuses his simple premise with bone-chilling dread and psychological terror as the kidnapper toys with Red. It builds to a harrowing finale you won’t forget; and neither did Mohan, who cited The Vanishing as an influence on Immaculate. Likely for its surprise closing moments, but mostly for the way Sluizer filmed from inside a coffin. 


The Other Hell

The Other Hell

This nunsploitation film begins where Immaculate ends: in the catacombs of a convent that leads to an underground laboratory. The Other Hell sees a priest investigating the seemingly paranormal activity surrounding the convent as possessed nuns get violent toward others. But is this a case of the Devil or simply nuns run amok? Immaculate opts to ground its horrors in reality, where The Other Hell leans into the supernatural, but the surprise lab setting beneath the holy grounds evokes the same sense of blasphemous shock. 


Inside

Inside 2007

During Immaculate‘s freakout climax, Cecilia sets the underground lab on fire with Father Sal Tedeschi (Álvaro Morte) locked inside. He manages to escape, though badly burned, and chases Cecilia through the catacombs. When Father Tedeschi catches Cecilia, he attempts to cut her baby out of her womb, and the stark imagery instantly calls Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury’s seminal French horror movie to mind. Like Tedeschi, Inside’s La Femme (Béatrice Dalle) will stop at nothing to get the baby, badly burned and all. 


Burial Ground

Burial Ground creepy kid

At first glance, this Italian zombie movie bears little resemblance to Immaculate. The plot sees an eclectic group forced to band together against a wave of undead, offering no shortage of zombie gore and wild character quirks. What connects them is the setting; both employed the Villa Parisi as a filming location. The Villa Parisi happens to be a prominent filming spot for Italian horror; also pair the new horror movie with Mario Bava’s A Bay of Blood or Blood for Dracula for additional boundary-pushing horror titles shot at the Villa Parisi.


The Devils

The Devils 1971 religious horror

The Devils was always intended to be incendiary. Horror, at its most depraved and sadistic, tends to make casual viewers uncomfortable. Ken Russell’s 1971 epic takes it to a whole new squeamish level with its nightmarish visuals steeped in some historical accuracy. There are the horror classics, like The Exorcist, and there are definitive transgressive horror cult classics. The Devils falls squarely in the latter, and Russell’s fearlessness in exploring taboos and wielding unholy imagery inspired Mohan’s approach to the escalating horror in Immaculate

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