The minute The Grinch steals Christmas, that Coca-Cola Santa starts pushing caffeinated products, and Charlie Brown butchers another tree, the start of the holiday season is in full swing. The world is on a high as school pageants kick off, Christmas carols bog down on just about every radio station, and, of course, hundreds of channels begin putting sappy movies into rotation. But what about those characters that have gone off the deep end- the ones that have turned many a movie from blissful to bloody, that have given us nightmares instead of presents? Even during the happiest time of year, there’s a chance that someone will walk away screaming… On the second day of Christmas, Bloody-Disgusting gave to me- “Christmas Characters Gone Wrong”
Day 1: Creepy Christmas Traditions
Day 2: Christmas Characters Gone Wrong
Day 3: Horrifying Holiday Decorations
Day 4: Twisted Yuletide Tales
Day 5: The Nightmare Before Christmas
Day 6: Creepy Christmas Movies
Day 7: Terrifying Toys
Day 8: Top 10 Potential Holiday Weapons
Day 9: Horror’s New Year’s Resolutions
Day 10: Top Picks for the New Year
Day 11: Ghosts of Christmas
Day 12: Happy Horror Holidays
The old guy with the beard is kind of disturbing to begin with. Am I the only one who finds it strange that people allow their children to sit on some stranger’s lap begging for toys? My parents forced me to do it, I’m sure my children will get lulled into the same thing- but come on, any other time of year this would be a crime. That’s why it doesn’t surprise me that horror movies have taken Santa to a whole new level. From the murderous teenager disguised as Chris Cringle in SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT to the demonic side of Santa in SANTA’S SLAY, it’s enough to keep you from leaving milk and cookies by the fire.
I have a soft spot for the talking snowman with a heart of gold. He’s a harmless guy, and if he gets on your nerves, all you have to do is shove him in the sunlight and save the hat for later. It’s a simple solution to a dosage of cheer. But then my childhood fantasy went flying out the window when, one morning during my high school years, courtesy of HBO, I caught a glimpse of the movie JACK FROST. While it may not be a critically acclaimed psychological thriller, the thought of a serial killer invading Frosty’s cheery self was very disturbing. Who am I kidding… it’s STILL disturbing.
And before you ask, no, I’m not going to reference that blasphemous remake starring Jim Carrey (wait, did I just say that?). The Grinch was never really a `kind’ figure to begin with- he symbolizes anger, hostility, hatred- just about every stereotype in the book. He does redeem himself, but only after he’s destroyed half of Whoville. So you’re probably wondering- what the hell am I talking about? Where did the Grinch go wrong?
Two words: The Simpsons. It’s painfully obvious that something is out of place when the Grinch is waiting outside the house with a knife, begging Homer to come out and play. Last time I checked, the only weapon the Grinch had was Max.
For a child, there’s nothing better than Christmas morning. The brightly lit tree, a plump stocking, those beautiful packages waiting underneath- it’s what they’ve been waiting for all year long. But what happens when those gifts turn on you? Just ask the little boy from CHUCKY how it turned out for him. Or, better yet, ask his mom. GREMLINS is another example- as cute as Gizmo is, we all know he’s a pain in the ass. And his siblings are even worse.
I had no idea the Gingerbread man could be taken to a level of insanity above what I saw in SHREK’s torture scene. When that short Napolean dude chopped off the little guy’s legs, I really thought he was a goner. But, alas, someone made something a bit more twisted- THE GINGERDEAD MAN, which has since been followed by GINGERDEAD MAN 2: PASSION OF THE CRUST, and will see itself in 3D next year. It’s another story of a serial killer trapped inside of something that usually makes us smile. Let’s face it, with Gary Busey at the helm, it was never meant to be a Christmas classic.
Next time you’re watching your favorite holiday film, be it A Christmas Carol, Home Alone, or whatever tweaks your neurons, remember that there are some corrupted characters out there that are sure to bring more fear than cheer.
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