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12 Bloody Days of Christmas: Day 4 ‘Twisted Yuletide Tales’

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Emotions during the holidays range from jolly to joyful, zappy to zingy. It’s hard to imagine Rudolph and company being associated with terror, mayhem or horror. But don’t be fooled, even amidst the Christmas cheer there are several terrifying stories to charm our tainted souls, the kind of stories that keep us awake at night- and it’s not because Santa landed on the roof, either. On the fourth day of Christmas, Bloody-Disgusting gave to me-“Twisted Yuletide Tales.”

Day 1: Creepy Christmas Traditions
Day 2: Christmas Characters Gone Wrong
Day 3: Horrifying Holiday Decorations
Day 4: Twisted Yuletide Tales
Day 5: The Nightmare Before Christmas
Day 6: Creepy Christmas Movies
Day 7: Terrifying Toys
Day 8: Top 10 Potential Holiday Weapons
Day 9: Horror’s New Year’s Resolutions
Day 10: Top Picks for the New Year
Day 11: Ghosts of Christmas
Day 12: Happy Horror Holidays

Day 4: Twisted Yuletide Tales
Just about every Christmas story out there comes from legend. Santa, derived from folklore and symbolized by Coca-Cola, is only the beginning. Frosty got his legs from a song, while elves come from Germany. But there are plenty of contorted narratives to send chills down your spine. Goes to prove that Halloween isn’t the only holiday reserved for fear.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

The classic paranormal story is the best and most well-known twisted Christmas tale out there. After years of pushing away those around him, Ebenezer Scrooge is finally tested by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. There are thousands of versions, each with their own special kick, but one fact never changes- one of the most well known holiday analects is, in fact, supernatural.

JERRY BUNDLER

When a group of travelers got together at The Boar’s Head Inn, mixing beers with ghost stories probably wasn’t the best idea. In the short story by W.W. Jacobs, which later became a stage play, the travelers learn of the ghost of Jerry Bundler, a London thief who had, according to legend, met his end in one of the inn’s very own bedrooms some eighty Christmases prior. Without revealing the room where Bundler had, according to legend, died- the travelers soon learn there was a horrifying price to be paid.

READ THE SHORT STORY HERE

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE

I’m not trying to be cynical or funny- but the movie It’s a Wonderful Life really is an odyssey of terror. George Bailey, our main guy, faces an intervention from his guardian angel when, on Christmas Eve, he contemplates suicide. He may not be evil and saucy like Ebenezer, but the message stays the same- behave yourself or someone will kidnap you and take you on a journey through your life. And it won’t be fun, either- it will be creepy. And kind of depressing.

RUDOLF THE RED NOSE REINDEER

Though the song may be aggravating, and I always hated being the kid who chimed in LIKE A REINDEER for the hell of it, it’s the movie that’s absolutely frightening. Between the Abominable Snowman, the creepy guy with the dogs, and the Island of Misfit Toys, it’s a wonder this movie didn’t receive some weird rating from the MPAA. But, I have to admit, my fiancée and I watch it every year- and I wouldn’t trade that toothless snowman for any other crazed Christmas creature in the world.

This is only a handful of more familiar Christmas stories. There are thousands of personal accounts of paranormal activity and horror, not to mention hundreds of short stories and fictional adaptations of unearthly happenings. Fear is universal- and Christmas is no stranger to the jitters.

Don’t forget to show your love for Andrea by visiting her blog: The Albin Way

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Editorials

Finding Faith and Violence in ‘The Book of Eli’ 14 Years Later

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Having grown up in a religious family, Christian movie night was something that happened a lot more often than I care to admit. However, back when I was a teenager, my parents showed up one night with an unusually cool-looking DVD of a movie that had been recommended to them by a church leader. Curious to see what new kind of evangelical propaganda my parents had rented this time, I proceeded to watch the film with them expecting a heavy-handed snoozefest.

To my surprise, I was a few minutes in when Denzel Washington proceeded to dismember a band of cannibal raiders when I realized that this was in fact a real movie. My mom was horrified by the flick’s extreme violence and dark subject matter, but I instantly became a fan of the Hughes Brothers’ faith-based 2010 thriller, The Book of Eli. And with the film’s atomic apocalypse having apparently taken place in 2024, I think this is the perfect time to dive into why this grim parable might also be entertaining for horror fans.

Originally penned by gaming journalist and The Walking Dead: The Game co-writer Gary Whitta, the spec script for The Book of Eli was already making waves back in 2007 when it appeared on the coveted Blacklist. It wasn’t long before Columbia and Warner Bros. snatched up the rights to the project, hiring From Hell directors Albert and Allen Hughes while also garnering attention from industry heavyweights like Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman.

After a series of revisions by Anthony Peckham meant to make the story more consumer-friendly, the picture was finally released in January of 2010, with the finished film following Denzel as a mysterious wanderer making his way across a post-apocalyptic America while protecting a sacred book. Along the way, he encounters a run-down settlement controlled by Bill Carnegie (Gary Oldman), a man desperate to get his hands on Eli’s book so he can motivate his underlings to expand his empire. Unwilling to let this power fall into the wrong hands, Eli embarks on a dangerous journey that will test the limits of his faith.


SO WHY IS IT WORTH WATCHING?

Judging by the film’s box-office success, mainstream audiences appear to have enjoyed the Hughes’ bleak vision of a future where everything went wrong, but critics were left divided by the flick’s trope-heavy narrative and unapologetic religious elements. And while I’ll be the first to admit that The Book of Eli isn’t particularly subtle or original, I appreciate the film’s earnest execution of familiar ideas.

For starters, I’d like to address the religious elephant in the room, as I understand the hesitation that some folks (myself included) might have about watching something that sounds like Christian propaganda. Faith does indeed play a huge part in the narrative here, but I’d argue that the film is more about the power of stories than a specific religion. The entire point of Oldman’s character is that he needs a unifying narrative that he can take advantage of in order to manipulate others, while Eli ultimately chooses to deliver his gift to a community of scholars. In fact, the movie even makes a point of placing the Bible in between equally culturally important books like the Torah and Quran, which I think is pretty poignant for a flick inspired by exploitation cinema.

Sure, the film has its fair share of logical inconsistencies (ranging from the extent of Eli’s Daredevil superpowers to his impossibly small Braille Bible), but I think the film more than makes up for these nitpicks with a genuine passion for classic post-apocalyptic cinema. Several critics accused the film of being a knockoff of superior productions, but I’d argue that both Whitta and the Hughes knowingly crafted a loving pastiche of genre influences like Mad Max and A Boy and His Dog.

Lastly, it’s no surprise that the cast here absolutely kicks ass. Denzel plays the title role of a stoic badass perfectly (going so far as to train with Bruce Lee’s protégée in order to perform his own stunts) while Oldman effortlessly assumes a surprisingly subdued yet incredibly intimidating persona. Even Mila Kunis is remarkably charming here, though I wish the script had taken the time to develop these secondary characters a little further. And hey, did I mention that Tom Waits is in this?


AND WHAT MAKES IT HORROR ADJACENT?

Denzel’s very first interaction with another human being in this movie results in a gory fight scene culminating in a face-off against a masked brute wielding a chainsaw (which he presumably uses to butcher travelers before eating them), so I think it’s safe to say that this dog-eat-dog vision of America will likely appeal to horror fans.

From diseased cannibals to hyper-violent motorcycle gangs roaming the wasteland, there’s plenty of disturbing R-rated material here – which is even more impressive when you remember that this story revolves around the bible. And while there are a few too many references to sexual assault for my taste, even if it does make sense in-universe, the flick does a great job of immersing you in this post-nuclear nightmare.

The excessively depressing color palette and obvious green screen effects may take some viewers out of the experience, but the beat-up and lived-in sets and costume design do their best to bring this dead world to life – which might just be the scariest part of the experience.

Ultimately, I believe your enjoyment of The Book of Eli will largely depend on how willing you are to overlook some ham-fisted biblical references in order to enjoy some brutal post-apocalyptic shenanigans. And while I can’t really blame folks who’d rather not deal with that, I think it would be a shame to miss out on a genuinely engaging thrill-ride because of one minor detail.

With that in mind, I’m incredibly curious to see what Whitta and the Hughes Brothers have planned for the upcoming prequel series starring John Boyega


There’s no understating the importance of a balanced media diet, and since bloody and disgusting entertainment isn’t exclusive to the horror genre, we’ve come up with Horror Adjacent – a recurring column where we recommend non-horror movies that horror fans might enjoy.

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