Why is it that Christmas is littered with sharp, inventive and downright dangerous decorations? I can think of a million different ways for a serial killer to murder someone with a string of lights alone. Add in some candles, a couple of broken bulbs, and even Hanukkah’s Star of David and there could be some serious bloodshed during the days leading up to December 25th. On the eighth day of Christmas, Bloody-Disgusting gave to me – “Top 10 Potential Holiday Weapons.”
Day 1: Creepy Christmas Traditions
Day 2: Christmas Characters Gone Wrong
Day 3: Horrifying Holiday Decorations
Day 4: Twisted Yuletide Tales
Day 5: The Nightmare Before Christmas
Day 6: Creepy Christmas Movies
Day 7: Terrifying Toys
Day 8: Top 10 Potential Holiday Weapons
Day 9: Horror’s New Year’s Resolutions
Day 10: Top Picks for the New Year
Day 11: Ghosts of Christmas
Day 12: Happy Horror Holidays
Laugh. Go on, I know you want to. Black Friday may be the start of the holiday shopping season, but it’s also a retailer’s worst nightmare. The financial benefits may be the lone perk out of this day of excess. Not only do cashiers, stock boys and merchandisers have to deal with attitude-prone shoppers, there’s also the fact that people have physically harmed others. This year, in Maryland, a woman was actually choked over a digital camera. I kid you not. Not to mention the poor guy that died at Wal*Mart a couple of years back. Talk about killer bargains.
Stars are weapons with or without the holidays. Sharp, pointed, large- they have the potential to be a really awesome murder weapon in a future horror flick.
First, they have out of control horns. Those things are gigantic, not to mention sharp. They could easily rival a star. But what’s scary about a reindeer is that they’re an animal; unpredictable, wild. Just ask this reporter- though this clip could be mistaken for a rape, not an attack.
If it’s anything like the fruitcake my mother used to have around the house at Christmas, you could easily throw that thing through a window. Or bash in someone’s skull.
Snowmen can be pretty dangerous. Not only can they be taken over by the demonic soul of a serial killer, but you can easily turn them into an awesome distraction in a bloody to the death snowball fight!
Fire can easily ruin anything- houses, skin, cars. Christmas is full of candles…
Some varieties of mistletoe are actually poisonous. If your roommate reminds you of Norman Bates, I’d make sure that green thing is still hanging above the door and not sunk somewhere in your teacup.
3. CANDY CANES
Looking at a candy cane, I’m sure a serial killer or your average psycho could easily come up with some interesting ways to turn it into a weapon. Sharpening the ends, using those life-sized yard decorations to his advantage; the possibilities are endless.
2. BROKEN ORNAMENTS
This struck me as an awesome weapon because of Home Alone. Imagine how horrendous that must feel to step on broken ornaments backed by a hardwood floor. Actually, now that I think about it, just about everything in Home Alone could count as an awesome holiday weapon.
1. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
Directly, indirectly, whichever way you hang it, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS are, by far, the most dangerous Christmas decoration around. I’ve heard of everything from hanging deaths, to falling deaths, to electrocution. It’s no joke- those cool light displays can literally take the life out of you.
(I’d also give it the number one spot on my top ten list of ways to prank your neighbor at Christmas, if such a list existed.)
Don’t forget to show your love for Andrea by visiting her blog: The Albin Way