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Best & Worst ’10: BC’S BOTTOM 10 OF 2010

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The worst list was much easier for me to make than my ‘best’ list – barely a week went by without me being massively disappointed with something. Overall, it seems the main problem is filmmakers being more in love with their technology than their stories. All of these movies (OK, SOME of them) are well made, but all the bells and whistles can’t make up for a shit script. There’s just way too much mediocrity out there as of late, and looking over this list and next year’s schedule, I fear a 90s style wasteland may be fast approaching. Try harder, studios and filmmakers.

Mr. Disgusting (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best/Worst) | David Harley (Best/Worst)
BC (Best/Worst) | Micah (Best/Worst) | Keenan (Best/Worst) | Theo (Best/Worst)
Best One Sheets | Worst One Sheets
Most Memorable Moments | Top Trailers | Memorable Quotes

BC’S WORST 10 OF 2010

NOTE – Because someone always complains about a “missing” movie – this list is based only on the films released in the US for the calendar year of 2010. Don’t ask me where The Stepfather is because YOU just finally got around to seeing it this year.

Let the flaming begin!


No one asks much from the Resident Evil movies, but maybe we should, because they’re just getting lazier. The 3D only provided a few decent scenes (more like shots), so I can’t even imagine how dull it was in 2D. And has there ever been a movie more built around amazing coincidences? Claire and Alice happen to crash their plane on the roof of a building that not only provides weaponry and a quick path to the boat that they’re trying to reach, but also Claire’s brother! What are the odds? Probably not as good as the odds that we’ll have to suffer through a 5th film (as always, the RE films gross more and more each time despite basically getting worse).

9. Legion (Sony)


God gets sick of mankind and decides to send angels to kill everyone. Awesome, right? Well, maybe if Scott Stewart gets to make his proposed sequel(s) it can be. But this “first” film is just a crushing bore; nearly all the awesome parts were in the trailer, and after a decent opening, the movie stops cold as our characters talk and talk and talk and talk… By the time Stewart gets around to having them actually DO something again, the movie’s almost over. Waste of a great cast too.

8. The Rig (Anchor Bay)


Anchor Bay’s independent pickups are usually pretty good (Behind The Mask, Hatchet, etc), but for the life of me I don’t know why they didn’t pass on The Rig, a dull, shameless Alien ripoff that boasts a top-billed performance by William Forsythe, who dies about 20 minutes in. It also rips off Armageddon, which is akin to treason as far as I’m concerned. P.S. Don’t believe the box art, which suggests the monster is as big as the rig itself – it’s so small it can apparently sneak into tiny offices unnoticed.

7. Open Graves (Lionsgate)


Have you ever wondered why no one ever combined Jumanji with Final Destination? Because it’s a pretty stupid idea. Didn’t stop the makers of Open Graves from trying through. You’d think a movie that ended with Eliza Dushku transforming into a CGI dragonfly would at least be worth a look, but you have to sit through 80 interminable minutes to get there. It’s just not worth it.

6. Vampires Suck (FOX)


So do Friedberg and Seltzer, but you knew that. What you DIDN’T know is that they were so inept at what they do, they couldn’t even get more than a couple of laughs out of making fun of TWILIGHT. Come on guys, this was shooting fish in a barrel, and you missed? Can we stop giving them money now? What’s that? It made 40 million? Ah, shit.

5. The Graves (After Dark/Lionsgate)


No year’s worst list is complete without an After Dark entry! This year’s sacrificial lamb is easily The Graves, the latest in a never ending “series” of films in which attractive females run afoul of Bill Moseley. But while the genre icon does his best to liven the proceedings (even donning a pig nose for a chunk of time!), he can’t save the incoherent story or piss-poor direction that keeps nearly every single kill or action beat off-screen. And enough with the goddamn digital blood!

4. Suicide Girls Must Die (First Look)


Yes. They must. And they should take this pile of shit with them. SPOILER – It’s all fake, a la April Fool’s Day. I saved you 75 minutes.

3. Animals (Maverick)


This trainwreck has been on the shelves for years, and it should have stayed there. Botched on nearly every level a film COULD be botched (casting, effects, plot, you name it, they screwed it up), it’s possibly one of the best “get drunk with friends” movies to come along in ages. Especially since its borderline incomprehensible even without alchohol – why bother staying sober?

2. Chain Letter (Freestyle)


Expert guy: “These people, they HATE technology!”
Keith David: “What about the GOOD things technology can do?”
Expert guy: “It doesn’t matter, they hate it!”

Luckily, I was the only one in the theater (on opening night!) for Chain Letter, so I could laugh and laugh to my heart’s content at each and every one of the godawful lines of dialogue that peppered this dull slasher. Hilariously outdated and lacking an actual climax, I will never understand how this thing managed to get a fairly decent theatrical release. At least most folks were wise enough to stay away.

1. Nightmare On Elm St (2010) (Warner Bros.)


Platinum Dunes’ head honchos Brad Fuller and Andrew Form seem almost proud of the fact that Samuel Bayer turned this movie down a few times before finally being convinced to waste his directorial debut on it. There are a million hungry directors in this town who would KILL for the chance to reinvent Freddy Krueger for a new generation, but they were determined to get a guy who didn’t want to do it. And it shows. Lazy on every level and shockingly dull to boot, not to mention riddled with plot holes that a baby could spot, this is by far the Dunes’ worst film yet (and yes, I’m including The Horsemen). The only good thing I can say about it – they’ve officially run out of “A list” dormant franchises to bring back and kill just as quickly.

2010 Honoraries

And the “WTF??” award goes to: MY SOUL TO TAKE
The trailer might have been generic, but the movie was nothing but. Featuring incomprehensible “teen slang” and a plot involving multiple reincarnations (I think?), Wes Craven’s long delayed return to horror was, if nothing else, a memorable 90 minutes at the movies. When the fact that two of the main characters are actually siblings is something only `revealed’ in the final reel of the movie (it’s not a twist, it’s just something they never really clarified), you know you’re watching something special. The needless (but surprisingly decent) post-conversion 3D just added to the wackiness. Easily this year’s The Happening or The Wicker Man.

Most Improved Remake: I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE
By making the antagonists less cartoonish and adding in some actual suspense, this remake was surprisingly enjoyable (I really dislike the original), and instantly catapulted Sarah Butler into the realm of classic female asskickers. And you get to see the guy from Devil’s Chair get a shotgun up the ass!

Least Improved Remake: LET ME IN
Were the folks who raved about this movie paid off or what? Technically fine (except for the laughable CGI vampire kill scenes) and featuring terrific performances by Chloe Moretz and Kodi Smit-McPhee, but Matt Reeves brought absolutely nothing new to a film that’s only two years old. With half a books’ worth of unused material from the original novel, Reeves inexplicably chose to follow the original film practically scene for scene, even finding locations that looked the same. What was the point?

Biggest Surprise: CABIN FEVER 2
After several dozen years’ of delays, Ti West’s sequel finally hit DVD shelves, and we all expected the worst (West’s own dismissal of the film didn’t help). But surprisingly it was a worthy follow up, with gross out gags that would even make Eli gag (swimming pool scene!) and some fun performances by indie stalwarts Noah Segan and Marc Senter. And how can you dislike a movie that uses the Prom Night theme?

Biggest Disappointment: THE WOLFMAN
Maybe they should have let Ti West direct this one. Nearly 200 million spent, rewrites and reshoots that would make the Weinsteins blush, and a woeful casting decision that asked us to believe that Benecio Del Toro was the son of Anthony Hopkins, all combined into one dull mess. The director’s cut improves some things (notably the rushed and practically incoherent first act that played in theaters), and the asylum stuff is great, but when your movie has a climax that makes audiences think “Hey, they’re ripping off that Ang Lee Hulk movie that I hated!”, there’s a big problem. Just proves once again that the more money you throw at a production to “fix” it, the worse it will get.

Most Improved Sequel: LAKE PLACID 3
The 2nd film is one of the worst Syfy originals I’ve seen, but this one’s actually pretty enjoyable, due to a few ringers in the cast (Michael Ironside, Yancy Butler) and a script that takes the crocs beyond the lake and woods for a change. There’s a fun attack on a house (the one Betty White’s character owned in the first film), and the climax takes place in the neighboring town! Plus the FX have improved a bit, making this one of the better Syfy offerings in a while (dim praise, but hey).

Least Improved Sequel: 30 DAYS OF NIGHT: DARK DAYS
The best thing they could have done is ignore the characters from the first film and more or less start from scratch, using any of the dozens of 30DoN graphic novels (and even a few regular novels) as a guide. Instead they used the Stella-fied, underwhelming “Dark Days” followup, and then made things worse by replacing Melissa George with Kiele Sanchez, who had already been a target for genre fans due to her much hated turn on Lost. Add in underwhelming and repetitive vampire action and a boring locale (downtown Los Angeles, ooooh), and you have a template subpar DTV effort.

STILL MIA AWARDS: MANDY LANE and POUGHKEEPSIE TAPES! Last year’s winners come back! They bid farewell to Case 39, their fellow MIA film that was finally released on October 1st against three other genre films (and was the most successful one!). Will next year make these two poor films’ 5th annual appearance in this category? Find out in 365 days!

Editorials

Five Serial Killer Horror Movies to Watch Before ‘Longlegs’

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Pictured: 'Fallen'

Here’s what we know about Longlegs so far. It’s coming in July of 2024, it’s directed by Osgood Perkins (The Blackcoat’s Daughter), and it features Maika Monroe (It Follows) as an FBI agent who discovers a personal connection between her and a serial killer who has ties to the occult. We know that the serial killer is going to be played by none other than Nicolas Cage and that the marketing has been nothing short of cryptic excellence up to this point.

At the very least, we can assume NEON’s upcoming film is going to be a dark, horror-fueled hunt for a serial killer. With that in mind, let’s take a look at five disturbing serial killers-versus-law-enforcement stories to get us even more jacked up for Longlegs.


MEMORIES OF MURDER (2003)

This South Korean film directed by Oscar-winning director Bong Joon-ho (Parasite) is a wild ride. The film features a handful of cops who seem like total goofs investigating a serial killer who brutally murders women who are out and wearing red on rainy evenings. The cops are tired, unorganized, and border on stoner comedy levels of idiocy. The movie at first seems to have a strange level of forgiveness for these characters as they try to pin the murders on a mentally handicapped person at one point, beating him and trying to coerce him into a confession for crimes he didn’t commit. A serious cop from the big city comes down to help with the case and is able to instill order.

But still, the killer evades and provokes not only the police but an entire country as everyone becomes more unstable and paranoid with each grizzly murder and sex crime.

I’ve never seen a film with a stranger tone than Memories of Murder. A movie that deals with such serious issues but has such fallible, seemingly nonserious people at its core. As the film rolls on and more women are murdered, you realize that a lot of these faults come from men who are hopeless and desperate to catch a killer in a country that – much like in another great serial killer story, Citizen X – is doing more harm to their plight than good.

Major spoiler warning: What makes Memories of Murder somehow more haunting is that it’s loosely based on a true story. It is a story where the real-life killer hadn’t been caught at the time of the film’s release. It ends with our main character Detective Park (Song Kang-ho), now a salesman, looking hopelessly at the audience (or judgingly) as the credits roll. Over sixteen years later the killer, Lee Choon Jae, was found using DNA evidence. He was already serving a life sentence for another murder. Choon Jae even admitted to watching the film during his court case saying, “I just watched it as a movie, I had no feeling or emotion towards the movie.”

In the end, Memories of Murder is a must-see for fans of the subgenre. The film juggles an almost slapstick tone with that of a dark murder mystery and yet, in the end, works like a charm.


CURE (1997)

Longlegs serial killer Cure

If you watched 2023’s Hypnotic and thought to yourself, “A killer who hypnotizes his victims to get them to do his bidding is a pretty cool idea. I only wish it were a better movie!” Boy, do I have great news for you.

In Cure (spoilers ahead), a detective (Koji Yakusho) and forensic psychologist (Tsuyoshi Ujiki) team up to find a serial killer who’s brutally marking their victims by cutting a large “X” into their throats and chests. Not just a little “X” mind you but a big, gross, flappy one.

At each crime scene, the murderer is there and is coherent and willing to cooperate. They can remember committing the crimes but can’t remember why. Each of these murders is creepy on a cellular level because we watch the killers act out these crimes with zero emotion. They feel different than your average movie murder. Colder….meaner.

What’s going on here is that a man named Mamiya (Masato Hagiwara) is walking around and somehow manipulating people’s minds using the flame of a lighter and a strange conversational cadence to hypnotize them and convince them to murder. The detectives eventually catch him but are unable to understand the scope of what’s happening before it’s too late.

If you thought dealing with a psychopathic murderer was hard, imagine dealing with one who could convince you to go home and murder your wife. Not only is Cure amazingly filmed and edited but it has more horror elements than your average serial killer film.


MANHUNTER (1986)

Longlegs serial killer manhunter

In the first-ever Hannibal Lecter story brought in front of the cameras, Detective Will Graham (William Petersen) finds his serial killers by stepping into their headspace. This is how he caught Hannibal Lecter (played here by Brian Cox), but not without paying a price. Graham became so obsessed with his cases that he ended up having a mental breakdown.

In Manhunter, Graham not only has to deal with Lecter playing psychological games with him from behind bars but a new serial killer in Francis Dolarhyde (in a legendary performance by Tom Noonan). One who likes to wear pantyhose on his head and murder entire families so that he can feel “seen” and “accepted” in their dead eyes. At one point Lecter even finds a way to gift Graham’s home address to the new killer via personal ads in a newspaper.

Michael Mann (Heat, Thief) directed a film that was far too stylish for its time but that fans and critics both would have loved today in the same way we appreciate movies like Nightcrawler or Drive. From the soundtrack to the visuals to the in-depth psychoanalysis of an insanely disturbed protagonist and the man trying to catch him. We watch Graham completely lose his shit and unravel as he takes us through the psyche of our killer. Which is as fascinating as it is fucked.

Manhunter is a classic case of a serial killer-versus-detective story where each side of the coin is tarnished in their own way when it’s all said and done. As Detective Park put it in Memories of Murder, “What kind of detective sleeps at night?”


INSOMNIA (2002)

Insomnia Nolan

Maybe it’s because of the foggy atmosphere. Maybe it’s because it’s the only film in Christopher Nolan’s filmography he didn’t write as well as direct. But for some reason, Insomnia always feels forgotten about whenever we give Nolan his flowers for whatever his latest cinematic achievement is.

Whatever the case, I know it’s no fault of the quality of the film, because Insomnia is a certified serial killer classic that adds several unique layers to the detective/killer dynamic. One way to create an extreme sense of unease with a movie villain is to cast someone you’d never expect in the role, which is exactly what Nolan did by casting the hilarious and sweet Robin Williams as a manipulative child murderer. He capped that off by casting Al Pacino as the embattled detective hunting him down.

This dynamic was fascinating as Williams was creepy and clever in the role. He was subdued in a way that was never boring but believable. On the other side of it, Al Pacino felt as if he’d walked straight off the set of 1995’s Heat and onto this one. A broken and imperfect man trying to stop a far worse one.

Aside from the stellar acting, Insomnia stands out because of its unique setting and plot. Both working against the detective. The investigation is taking place in a part of Alaska where the sun never goes down. This creates a beautiful, nightmare atmosphere where by the end of it, Pacino’s character is like a Freddy Krueger victim in the leadup to their eventual, exhausted death as he runs around town trying to catch a serial killer while dealing with the debilitating effects of insomnia. Meanwhile, he’s under an internal affairs investigation for planting evidence to catch another child killer and accidentally shoots his partner who he just found out is about to testify against him. The kicker here is that the killer knows what happened that fateful day and is using it to blackmail Pacino’s character into letting him get away with his own crimes.

If this is the kind of “what would you do?” intrigue we get with the story from Longlegs? We’ll be in for a treat. Hoo-ah.


FALLEN (1998)

Longlegs serial killer fallen

Fallen may not be nearly as obscure as Memories of Murder or Cure. Hell, it boasts an all-star cast of Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Donald Sutherland, James Gandolfini, and Elias Koteas. But when you bring it up around anyone who has seen it, their ears perk up, and the word “underrated” usually follows. And when it comes to the occult tie-ins that Longlegs will allegedly have? Fallen may be the most appropriate film on this entire list.

In the movie, Detective Hobbs (Washington) catches vicious serial killer Edgar Reese (Koteas) who seems to place some sort of curse on him during Hobbs’ victory lap. After Reese is put to death via electric chair, dead bodies start popping up all over town with his M.O., eventually pointing towards Hobbs as the culprit. After all, Reese is dead. As Hobbs investigates he realizes that a fallen angel named Azazel is possessing human body after human body and using them to commit occult murders. It has its eyes fixated on him, his co-workers, and family members; wrecking their lives or flat-out murdering them one by one until the whole world is damned.

Mixing a demonic entity into a detective/serial killer story is fascinating because it puts our detective in the unsettling position of being the one who is hunted. How the hell do you stop a demon who can inhabit anyone they want with a mere touch?!

Fallen is a great mix of detective story and supernatural horror tale. Not only are we treated to Denzel Washington as the lead in a grim noir (complete with narration) as he uncovers this occult storyline, but we’re left with a pretty great “what would you do?” situation in a movie that isn’t afraid to take the story to some dark places. Especially when it comes to the way the film ends. It’s a great horror thriller in the same vein as Frailty but with a little more detective work mixed in.


Look for Longlegs in theaters on July 12, 2024.

Longlegs serial killer

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