If I hadn’t been checking out the various film festivals over the past year, I doubt I would have been able to assemble a top 10 list. This year was such a crap-fest that making my list of the 10 worst films of the year was a breeze. It was too easy. In fact, I had to leave a dozen or so films off the list. Feelings will be hurt, but you know what, get over it. Grow some thick skin. Make a better movie in 2011.
Freddy Krueger’s return to the big screen had so much promise: a huge budget, sweet special effects, and a pretty solid script that involved “micro-naps”. The unfortunate hiring of music video director Sam Bayer proved costly as Elm Street had zero scare, and even found a way to completely ignore the micro-nap subplot. The film was damaged by multiple cuts and reshoots that we unfortunately never got to see on DVD/Blu-ray. While it could have been worse, it was pretty “meh”. I didn’t lose any sleep over it.
I almost hate including Wes Craven’s disasterpiece in my top 10 worst because it’s so darn entertaining. I guess I could easily dub it the “best of worst of 2010″? Confusing, odd and strangely hypnotic, it’s easy to recommend the film to horror fans, but with the stern warning that it will in fact melt your brain.
I saw this so long ago I barely remember it even coming out. I sat in a theater by myself as zero people showed up for the single screening in Beverly Hills. It was a laugh riot as New Daughter is littered with horrid dialogue. But what made it unbearable was how darn boring it was. Daughter feels like a made-for-TV movie that would eventually hit SyFy or get dumped on DVD.
If you can’t even make the transformation sequence cool, what else is there to talk about? Fail.
In my humble opinion, John Carpenter is the best horror director of our time, or at least the 1980s. The sheer number of incredible films is hard to ignore, so when Carpenter announced his return to director’s chair for this Amber Heard psychological thriller, how could I not be excited? It was heartbreaking to return from the world premiere with the news that The Ward should be committed, especially for completely failing to decide what kind of horror movie it wanted to be.
The “frankenfilm” of the year, this comic book adaptation is quite simply soulless. There’s nothing here but forgettable characters and forgettable action sequences; sh*t, I can’t remember I single thing about the movie other than the fact that Megan Fox had her breasts all greased up throughout. Win?
Yet another Twisted Pictures failure; the production team behind the Saw franchise can’t catch a break outside of Jigsaw’s games as they delivered a slasher movie that involved, gulp, a chain letter. Scaaarrry. Some of the kills are cool, but they are far and few between. If anything, Chain Letter felt like a really crappy direct-to-disc release. Full theatrical release? Come on.
When all is said and done, Legion is all talk and no “do”, a prude film with some seriously wasted potential. It’s boring, slow-paced and takes itself way too goddamn seriously. Snore. The film’s worst offense is stealing it’s plotline from James Cameron’s Terminator.
I’m a huge fan of the original Clash of the Titans, but it was one of those films that a remake could have done it some good. Unfortunately, many of the original film’s problems remain intact in this 2010 version, not to mention how simple Perseus’ quest is. There’s zero suspense and even the CGI is overdone (not all that surprising). It also gets a big f*ck you for post-converting to 3-D so they can charge exuberant ticket prices.
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate this movie. I hate Every. Single. Thing. about it. HATE. I hate that the running time just missed two hours. I hate that Renee Zellweger stars. I hate that it was released because Bradley Cooper was hot off of The Hangover. I hate that there are 13 fake scares. I hate that director Christian Alvart can’t decide what red herring to run with (is the little girl bad?) I hate the way it looked. I hated every inch of this movie and pray to the gods that none of you have to bare witness to such an atrocity of cinema. FAIL FAIL FAIL.
The Butcher Brothers’ The Violent Kind took what could have easily become a cult film and turned in into a mindboggling mess. From horror pacing issues, to oddball dialogue choices, Violent Kind never gains the audience’s attention nor asks for them to even care. The characters are forgettable, unlikable and remarkably stupid (literally) that it’s nearly impossible to avoid looking at your watch. Tim Sullivan returned behind the camera for the much anticipated 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams, which ended up being the single worst movie I saw this year. I opted not to include it on my list because it only screened in one theater (that I’m aware of) for the DVD release. From the horrid cinematography to the oddly racist jokes (I don’t find myself overly sensitive or easily offended) and terrible sound design, 2001 Maniacs 2 can easily be summed up as “embarrassing'” — at least there’s one cool kill (a circular blade to the crotch). Another highly anticipated sequel that I found quite disappointing was Adam Green’s Hatchet II. While it didn’t make the bottom 10, I was extremely disappointed, with the crux of the problems being the screenplay. The pacing was off, Tony Todd talks wayyyyyy too much, and Danielle Harris takes the role to a new level of overacting. Beyond the script flaws, there are some absolutely incredible kills, and the movie does find a way to end on a high note with one hell of a extraordinary kill.