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5 Played Out Costumes – Think Twice Before Wearing These Tonight!!!

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I Know I Know I know! If you’re on the West Coast you’re rushing to wrap up your workday and your costume is laid out on the bed waiting for you. You’re gonna hurry home, throw it on and head out to whatever plans await.

If you’re on the East Coast you’re probably already wearing the damn thing and checking out Bloody-Disgusting while your significant other is in the bathroom getting his/her hair just right. The keys may even be in your hand.

Problem is, if you’re wearing one of these five costumes – you should probably stop what you’re doing. Just take it off and improvise something new. If nothing new comes to mind, just go in your regular clothes. You’ll be way more popular at the party.

Hit the jump to see what I mean. And let me know what costumes annoy you in the comments below! THE JOKER

Come on. The Dark Knight rises is a rad movie. I love it. I even fall into the Joseph Kahn school of those who defend the editorial decisions in the film’s action sequences. But if you’re dressing as The Joker you’re coming across as one of those people who take the movie way too seriously. It’s akin to the mentality of a child who is bragging about seeing his first R-Rated movie (yes I know Dark Knight is PG13). Especially if you’re really inhabiting the character’s mannerisms – don’t be that guy who tries to utilize the “seriousness” of Nolan’s films to justify your fandom. You’re trying to make something inherently silly (you in the costume) into something adult and it’s not working.

KURT COBAIN

For real? First of all, are you even old enough to remember him when he was alive and what that time felt like? If so, you should know this costume goes 100% against all of that. If you’re younger, I’ll just say that the dude made ‘In Utero’ in order to alienate the portions of his fan base that would wear this kind of costume.

Bonus? His hair didn’t even look like that. Want to scream “I don’t get it” at the top of your lungs? Wear this.

THE CROW

It can’t rain all the time. Except if you’re one of the people wearing this costume again. It wasn’t even that great of a movie. Why are you clinging to it? Stay in and eat some candy. Wait, no candy. Eat a salad. And go to the beach tomorrow. Or hiking. Something.

DRIVE

I know, it’s a FANTASTIC movie. But you can’t pull this off. No one can except Ryan Gosling saying nothing in the right lighting with a great soundtrack. I live on the East Side of Los Angeles and I expect to see at least a dozen of these on my way to the store later. And it won’t look good on anyone.

ANYTHING STAR WARS

Even Slave Leia. Especially Slave Leia. What message are you trying to send with that costume? That it was down between this and the sexy kitten costume? You’ve seen Return Of The Jedi? Me too!

This goes for every other Star Wars costume. This franchise is dead. Murdered by it’s own father and sold back to you as ashes. All you’re doing is announcing that you’ve heard of these movies (akin to hearing of oxygen) and that you had no other ideas.

Have fun tonight guys!

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Editorials

Finding Faith and Violence in ‘The Book of Eli’ 14 Years Later

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Having grown up in a religious family, Christian movie night was something that happened a lot more often than I care to admit. However, back when I was a teenager, my parents showed up one night with an unusually cool-looking DVD of a movie that had been recommended to them by a church leader. Curious to see what new kind of evangelical propaganda my parents had rented this time, I proceeded to watch the film with them expecting a heavy-handed snoozefest.

To my surprise, I was a few minutes in when Denzel Washington proceeded to dismember a band of cannibal raiders when I realized that this was in fact a real movie. My mom was horrified by the flick’s extreme violence and dark subject matter, but I instantly became a fan of the Hughes Brothers’ faith-based 2010 thriller, The Book of Eli. And with the film’s atomic apocalypse having apparently taken place in 2024, I think this is the perfect time to dive into why this grim parable might also be entertaining for horror fans.

Originally penned by gaming journalist and The Walking Dead: The Game co-writer Gary Whitta, the spec script for The Book of Eli was already making waves back in 2007 when it appeared on the coveted Blacklist. It wasn’t long before Columbia and Warner Bros. snatched up the rights to the project, hiring From Hell directors Albert and Allen Hughes while also garnering attention from industry heavyweights like Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman.

After a series of revisions by Anthony Peckham meant to make the story more consumer-friendly, the picture was finally released in January of 2010, with the finished film following Denzel as a mysterious wanderer making his way across a post-apocalyptic America while protecting a sacred book. Along the way, he encounters a run-down settlement controlled by Bill Carnegie (Gary Oldman), a man desperate to get his hands on Eli’s book so he can motivate his underlings to expand his empire. Unwilling to let this power fall into the wrong hands, Eli embarks on a dangerous journey that will test the limits of his faith.


SO WHY IS IT WORTH WATCHING?

Judging by the film’s box-office success, mainstream audiences appear to have enjoyed the Hughes’ bleak vision of a future where everything went wrong, but critics were left divided by the flick’s trope-heavy narrative and unapologetic religious elements. And while I’ll be the first to admit that The Book of Eli isn’t particularly subtle or original, I appreciate the film’s earnest execution of familiar ideas.

For starters, I’d like to address the religious elephant in the room, as I understand the hesitation that some folks (myself included) might have about watching something that sounds like Christian propaganda. Faith does indeed play a huge part in the narrative here, but I’d argue that the film is more about the power of stories than a specific religion. The entire point of Oldman’s character is that he needs a unifying narrative that he can take advantage of in order to manipulate others, while Eli ultimately chooses to deliver his gift to a community of scholars. In fact, the movie even makes a point of placing the Bible in between equally culturally important books like the Torah and Quran, which I think is pretty poignant for a flick inspired by exploitation cinema.

Sure, the film has its fair share of logical inconsistencies (ranging from the extent of Eli’s Daredevil superpowers to his impossibly small Braille Bible), but I think the film more than makes up for these nitpicks with a genuine passion for classic post-apocalyptic cinema. Several critics accused the film of being a knockoff of superior productions, but I’d argue that both Whitta and the Hughes knowingly crafted a loving pastiche of genre influences like Mad Max and A Boy and His Dog.

Lastly, it’s no surprise that the cast here absolutely kicks ass. Denzel plays the title role of a stoic badass perfectly (going so far as to train with Bruce Lee’s protégée in order to perform his own stunts) while Oldman effortlessly assumes a surprisingly subdued yet incredibly intimidating persona. Even Mila Kunis is remarkably charming here, though I wish the script had taken the time to develop these secondary characters a little further. And hey, did I mention that Tom Waits is in this?


AND WHAT MAKES IT HORROR ADJACENT?

Denzel’s very first interaction with another human being in this movie results in a gory fight scene culminating in a face-off against a masked brute wielding a chainsaw (which he presumably uses to butcher travelers before eating them), so I think it’s safe to say that this dog-eat-dog vision of America will likely appeal to horror fans.

From diseased cannibals to hyper-violent motorcycle gangs roaming the wasteland, there’s plenty of disturbing R-rated material here – which is even more impressive when you remember that this story revolves around the bible. And while there are a few too many references to sexual assault for my taste, even if it does make sense in-universe, the flick does a great job of immersing you in this post-nuclear nightmare.

The excessively depressing color palette and obvious green screen effects may take some viewers out of the experience, but the beat-up and lived-in sets and costume design do their best to bring this dead world to life – which might just be the scariest part of the experience.

Ultimately, I believe your enjoyment of The Book of Eli will largely depend on how willing you are to overlook some ham-fisted biblical references in order to enjoy some brutal post-apocalyptic shenanigans. And while I can’t really blame folks who’d rather not deal with that, I think it would be a shame to miss out on a genuinely engaging thrill-ride because of one minor detail.

With that in mind, I’m incredibly curious to see what Whitta and the Hughes Brothers have planned for the upcoming prequel series starring John Boyega


There’s no understating the importance of a balanced media diet, and since bloody and disgusting entertainment isn’t exclusive to the horror genre, we’ve come up with Horror Adjacent – a recurring column where we recommend non-horror movies that horror fans might enjoy.

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