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[BEST & WORST ’11] Lonmonster’s List of the Worst Horror Films of 2011!

Bloody Disgusting 2011 Best and Worst Horror Movies

As you all know, along with the good come the bad and the ugly. It’s not often that I dislike a movie so much that I get angry, but that is precisely the reason each of these films find their spot in my “Worst of 2011”. This was much, much easier to put together than my “Best of 2011” list simply because I only have so much room in my brain to remember movies I hate as much as these.

Sure, some feelings will be hurt, but before you get all up in arms, remember it’s movies like these that give horror a bad name…

Worst Horror of 2011: Lonmonster

Mr. Disgusting (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best/Worst) | BC (Best/Worst) | David Harley (Best/Worst)
Micah (Best/Worst) | Lonmonster (Best/Worst) | Evan Dickson (Best/Worst) | Lauren Taylor (Best/Worst)
Posters (Best/Worst) | Trailers (Best/Worst) | Performances (Best)

5. Vanishing on 7th Street (January 7; Magnet Releasing)

As someone who studied philosophy, I not only found this film unintelligent, but outright offensive. The pseudo-existential jabbering of every single character was almost as nonsensical as the plot itself, and the failure to offer any sort of explanation as to what or why anything was happening was egregious. Thandie Newton should be ashamed of her irritating performance. The only reason this doesn’t find itself lower down on my list is because the opening scene was actually quite good. Unfortunately, it only got way, way worse from there.

4. Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (April 29; Freestyle Releasing)

There were very, very few redeeming qualities to this movie.

3. Knifepoint (Screened at Fantasia; TBD)

Kinfepoint is the perfect example of a film that takes the rape-revenge sub-genre way too far, and solely for the sake of sexualized violence. Don’t get me wrong, some of my favorite movies fit in the rape-revenge subgenre, but this lacked any sense of female empowerment. The defenseless girl in a wheelchair getting raped several times was simply poor taste, funny as it may sound. This is one of the only times I ever felt like walking out of a theatre.

2. Children of the Corn: Genesis (August 30; Dimension Extreme)

The opening scene is unintentionally hilarious and I hated it. The intro has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the film, which I hated even more. The characters do exactly as they are told not to do, like bratty six year olds, and their motives are highly questionable. The sound design is abysmal, it sounds like it was made on a Fisher Price keyboard; specifically the wind sounds that come out of nowhere with no explanation or purpose. The climax of the film involves the lead actor spending 5 minutes trying to put a camera back on a tripod, and I’m not sure if this was done intentionally, but it perfectly mirrors the ability of the actual filmmakers. Nothing makes any sense, the gore is awful. This movie is awful.

1. Dunwitch (Originally Titled Hollow) (Screened at Fantasia; TBD)

The director spoke to this film before the screening at Fantasia, promising to offer a completely new take on the handheld cam subgenre. Unfortunately, Dunwich is a complete failure in every regard. All this film offers is a densely boring storyline with dull acting and degrading dialogue; Dunwich offers nothing new at all, if anything it sets horror back about ten years. The main scare of the movie was a big tree; yep that’s it, a big tree in the middle of a field. The cast act like a bunch of pre-teens who ran out of their parents alcohol through the entire film, all leading up to a big finale where two people sit in a care for thirty, long, grueling, minutes. They should have stuck with the original title, because that’s all this film is, hollow.



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