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Can Season Two Of “The Strain” Fix Season One’s Problems?

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Strain

It’s no secret that the first season of FX’s vampire series The Strain was a disappointment. It was a case of the advertisements being better than the show itself, which is disappointing but not surprising, considering the novels the series is based on are no great works of art themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the books were a fun summer read, but in no way would I call them good. What irked me about the series is that many of the problems that the books had are still present in the series. To me, one of the goals of a film or television adaptation of a series of novels would be to take the worst parts of said novels and improve upon them. The Strain only did that in one area: they killed off Nora’s mother way before it happened in the books (and she was awful in the books). Now that the series has had some time to think about what it’s done, it returns to us with a second (and hopefully improved) season.

First, let’s look at some of The Strain’s most crippling problems:

The Humans Are Boring, Unrealistic And Make Stupid Decisions

I kept trying to convince myself last season that I liked the characters in The Strain. The Season 2 premiere made me realize how wrong I was. I actively despise nearly every human character on the show (Setrakian and Fet being the only two likable ones). With the premiere, the majority of the focus was on The Master’s origin (in a sequence expertly directed by Guillermo Del Toro) and Setrakian. Once anything shifted to Nora and Eph, the episode turned to shit (and I’m an Alias fan, so I love Mia Maestro).  We all know characters makes stupid decisions in horror movies, but The Strain overdoes it. It took weeks for people to start noticing there was a vampire virus infecting people all over New York City, people hang on to their loved ones knowing their chances of survival would be better if they left them behind (Nora and Zach), the show expects us to care about certain characters we’ve barely spent any time with (I still can’t believe we got an entire late-season episode devoted to Kelly Goodweather’s demise), and, worst of all, the characters are annoying.

There Is Too Much Wheel-Spinning

I fully believe this is a consequence of stretching out a 400-page novel into a 13-episode season, but that is why The Strain should have 10 (or less) episodes in a season. Under the Dome is over 1,000 pages and even that could barely mine enough material to fill a 13-episode season (much less the 2 seasons that followed it, which deviated heavily and are still terrible). That being said, there were so many scenes in the first season that could have easily been cut. I’m all for a slow burn, but let’s not kid ourselves here: Hannibal this is not. The Strain is a glorified B-movie, and when it embraces those aspects of itself, it can be great. When it tries to be serious (which is where a lot of the aforementioned wheel-spinning comes into play), it’s actively terrible. Part of my impatience with these scenes may be because, as a book reader, I know where the show is going. Seeing it waste so much time on meaningless characters (or romantic sub-plots) is frustrating. What do you think? Am I being too harsh?

The Master Looks Terrible

I’m all for practical makeup effects, but The Master is embarrassing. It looks like he just had his lips done. Seriously, just look at this thing:

Strain Master

Zach

What irks me about this one is that they actually recast Ben Hyland,who was terrible in the first season (I’m sorry! I know he’s a child actor, but he was bad). So they were actually trying to improve in this particular area, but if Max Charles’ performance in the season 2 premiere is any indication, he might actually be worse than Hyland. Granted, this is mostly because the character of Zach is written as the most insufferable pre-teen to ever exist on film. This kid has seen his mother in vampire form, yet still insists that his father go find her so they can be a family again. Um, what?

These are just some of the most obvious issues plaguing The Strain (sorry), and I think they’re easy to fix. I actually enjoyed the Season 2 premiere more than Jess did, but the show still has a lot of work to do. It’s on the right track, but it essentially boils down to making the humans relatable, likable and, most importantly, smarter. A faster pace wouldn’t hurt either (or a shorter episode order for next season). Oh, and get rid of Zach, stat. Those of you who did read the books know what’s in store for him though…

In conclusion, I have this to say to The Strain: It shouldn’t feel like a chore to watch a TV show, and sometimes you do. Fix yourself. I want to like you. I really do! Please stop making it difficult.

What do you all think? Did you give up on the first season like I did (I stopped watching after seven episodes and only recently binged the final six)? Or do you think I’m completely in the wrong and that the show is brilliant? Let me know in the comments below?

P.S. What happened to Bolivar’s manager (Regina King)? Did they really bring her on board for 3 episodes and not even kill her? She just got away? What a waste of a talented actress.

A journalist for Bloody Disgusting since 2015, Trace writes film reviews and editorials, as well as co-hosts Bloody Disgusting's Horror Queers podcast, which looks at horror films through a queer lens. He has since become dedicated to amplifying queer voices in the horror community, while also injecting his own personal flair into film discourse. Trace lives in Austin, TX with his husband and their two dogs. Find him on Twitter @TracedThurman

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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