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We Want You to Describe Yourself in Three Horror Characters!

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How do things end up becoming *things* on the internet? Oftentimes, one person posts something and inspires a friend to do the same, and sometimes, those things explode and take on a big beautiful life of their own. Such is the case with the recent “Describe yourself in three fictional characters” social media game, which has likely clogged up your Facebook and Twitter feeds with images of movie and TV characters that your friends consider their fictional spirit animals.

Of course, it’s not exclusively a horror game, but we’ve decided to make it one. We want YOU to comment below and describe yourself in three horror characters, and you’re encouraged to explain why each of them made the list. We want to know which horror characters you share a powerful bond with, and we hope that with that knowledge, we’ll learn a little something about you.

As for me, well, allow me to kick off the fun!

If I had to pick just one horror character to describe myself, it’d be Secret Window‘s Mort Rainey. Played by Johnny Depp in the 2004 adaptation of Stephen King’s novella, Rainey is a work-from-home writer who divides his time between napping, playing with his dog, and of course, writing, and though I related to the character even before becoming a writer myself, it’s almost frightening how much I relate to him now. Mind you, I’m not a delusional killer or anything, but anyone who knows me knows that I’m a secluded cabin in the woods away from being Mort Rainey. The primary difference between he and I, it must be pointed out, is that I’m more of a cat guy.

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Another character I deeply relate to is the title character in Lucky McKee’s 2002 film May, pitch-perfectly played by Angela “best Carrie ever” Bettis. May Dove Canady (pictured at the tippy top of this post) is a shy and highly awkward girl who desperately wants a friend but can’t quite seem to find the perfect one, and though she may be as batshit crazy as she is absolutely adorable, I can’t help but feel that there’s a little bit of May in me. And really, I feel like everyone reading this probably has a little bit of May in them too. She’s an extreme weirdo and a total outcast, and to some extent, aren’t we all? If you take away all the killing, she’s one of the most downright relatable and lovable characters in horror history.

Okay, this last one may seem a little strange at first, but hear me out.

Introduced in Michael Dougherty’s Halloween anthology Trick ‘r Treat, Sam is a pumpkin-headed monster child who rocks the coolest pair of footy pajamas on the planet, and though Sam and I may not visually have much in common with one another, what we do share is a love of Halloween – and a hatred for anyone who disrespects our favorite holiday. Sam is essentially the protector of Halloween, dispatching anyone who doesn’t follow the rules of the holiday, and in many ways he is the very embodiment of the Halloween spirit. Sam is the little kid we all become around this time of the year, and though some may call him a nasty little villain, I prefer to think of him as a Halloween hero. Because he is, is he not?

All of my spirit animals are killers. Go figure.

The floor is now yours!

sam trick r treat

Writer in the horror community since 2008. Editor in Chief of Bloody Disgusting. Owns Eli Roth's prop corpse from Piranha 3D. Has four awesome cats. Still plays with toys.

Editorials

‘Leprechaun Returns’ – The Charm of the Franchise’s Legacy Sequel

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leprechaun returns

The erratic Leprechaun franchise is not known for sticking with a single concept for too long. The namesake (originally played by Warwick Davis) has gone to L.A., Las Vegas, space, and the ‘hood (not once but twice). And after an eleven-year holiday since the Davis era ended, the character received a drastic makeover in a now-unmentionable reboot. The critical failure of said film would have implied it was time to pack away the green top hat and shillelagh, and say goodbye to the nefarious imp. Instead, the Leprechaun series tried its luck again.

The general consensus for the Leprechaun films was never positive, and the darker yet blander Leprechaun: Origins certainly did not sway opinions. Just because the 2014 installment took itself seriously did not mean viewers would. After all, creator Mark Jones conceived a gruesome horror-comedy back in the early nineties, and that format is what was expected of any future ventures. So as horror legacy sequels (“legacyquels”) became more common in the 2010s, Leprechaun Returns followed suit while also going back to what made the ‘93 film work. This eighth entry echoed Halloween (2018) by ignoring all the previous sequels as well as being a direct continuation of the original. Even ardent fans can surely understand the decision to wipe the slate clean, so to speak.

Leprechaun Returns “continued the [franchise’s] trend of not being consistent by deciding to be consistent.” The retconning of Steven Kostanski and Suzanne Keilly’s film was met with little to no pushback from the fandom, who had already become accustomed to seeing something new and different with every chapter. Only now the “new and different” was familiar. With the severe route of Origins a mere speck in the rearview mirror, director Kotanski implemented a “back to basics” approach that garnered better reception than Zach Lipovsky’s own undertaking. The one-two punch of preposterous humor and grisly horror was in full force again.

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Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

With Warwick Davis sitting this film out — his own choice — there was the foremost challenge of finding his replacement. Returns found Davis’ successor in Linden Porco, who admirably filled those blood-stained, buckled shoes. And what would a legacy sequel be without a returning character? Jennifer Aniston obviously did not reprise her final girl role of Tory Redding. So, the film did the next best thing and fetched another of Lubdan’s past victims: Ozzie, the likable oaf played by Mark Holton. Returns also created an extension of Tory’s character by giving her a teenage daughter, Lila (Taylor Spreitler).

It has been twenty-five years since the events of the ‘93 film. The incident is unknown to all but its survivors. Interested in her late mother’s history there in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota, Lila transferred to the local university and pledged a sorority — really the only one on campus — whose few members now reside in Tory Redding’s old home. The farmhouse-turned-sorority-house is still a work in progress; Lila’s fellow Alpha Epsilon sisters were in the midst of renovating the place when a ghost of the past found its way into the present.

The Psycho Goreman and The Void director’s penchant for visceral special effects is noted early on as the Leprechaun tears not only into the modern age, but also through poor Ozzie’s abdomen. The portal from 1993 to 2018 is soaked with blood and guts as the Leprechaun forces his way into the story. Davis’ iconic depiction of the wee antagonist is missed, however, Linden Porco is not simply keeping the seat warm in case his predecessor ever resumes the part. His enthusiastic performance is accentuated by a rotten-looking mug that adds to his innate menace.

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Pictured: Taylor Spreitler, Pepi Sonuga, and Sai Bennett as Lila, Katie and Rose in Leprechaun Returns.

The obligatory fodder is mostly young this time around. Apart from one luckless postman and Ozzie — the premature passing of the latter character removed the chance of caring about anyone in the film — the Leprechaun’s potential prey are all college aged. Lila is this story’s token trauma kid with caregiver baggage; her mother thought “monsters were always trying to get her.” Lila’s habit of mentioning Tory’s mental health problem does not make a good first impression with the resident mean girl and apparent alcoholic of the sorority, Meredith (Emily Reid). Then there are the nicer but no less cursorily written of the Alpha Epsilon gals: eco-conscious and ex-obsessive Katie (Pepi Sonuga), and uptight overachiever Rose (Sai Bennett). Rounding out the main cast are a pair of destined-to-die bros (Oliver Llewellyn Jenkins, Ben McGregor). Lila and her peers range from disposable to plain irritating, so rooting for any one of them is next to impossible. Even so, their overstated personalities make their inevitable fates more satisfying.

Where Returns excels is its death sequences. Unlike Jones’ film, this one is not afraid of killing off members of the main cast. Lila, admittedly, wears too much plot armor, yet with her mother’s spirit looming over her and the whole story — comedian Heather McDonald put her bang-on Aniston impersonation to good use as well as provided a surprisingly emotional moment in the film — her immunity can be overlooked. Still, the other characters’ brutal demises make up for Lila’s imperviousness. The Leprechaun’s killer set-pieces also happen to demonstrate the time period, seeing as he uses solar panels and a drone in several supporting characters’ executions. A premortem selfie and the antagonist’s snarky mention of global warming additionally add to this film’s particular timestamp.

Critics were quick to say Leprechaun Returns did not break new ground. Sure, there is no one jetting off to space, or the wacky notion of Lubdan becoming a record producer. This reset, however, is still quite charming and entertaining despite its lack of risk-taking. And with yet another reboot in the works, who knows where the most wicked Leprechaun ever to exist will end up next.


Horror contemplates in great detail how young people handle inordinate situations and all of life’s unexpected challenges. While the genre forces characters of every age to face their fears, it is especially interested in how youths might fare in life-or-death scenarios.

The column Young Blood is dedicated to horror stories for and about teenagers, as well as other young folks on the brink of terror.

Leprechaun Returns movie

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

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