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It’s Time, My Dear Readers, For Me to Say Goodbye

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Hey everyone. I hate having to write this but I would hate it even more if I left without saying goodbye to all of you. So yes, this is me saying that I am no longer writing for Bloody-Disgusting or Cinema Runner. This is me saying farewell to all of you and wanting to take this last opportunity to say a few words about my experience with this site and all that it has offered me.

I started writing for Bloody-Disgusting back in October of 2009. I came aboard because I pestered Brad (Mr. Disgusting) and Tom (you may remember his Infected name KillRobot), the owners of BD, relentlessly until they allowed me to write for the music section. The deal was that I was supposed to submit two album reviews per month. That’s it. So what did I do? I contacted every record label I could think of to let them know that I was writing for Bloody-Disgusting, the internet’s largest and most recognized horror website as an album reviewer. On top of getting promo copies for review purposes, I was suddenly talking with the labels’ PR and marketing departments who wanted to see about getting more done with the site.

Hey Jonathan! On top of doing a review, would you want to do an in-person interview for the site?” Ummm, yes?

Hey dude! Love your site! Can we also do a contest to give away 10 copies of the album?” Uhhh, I think we can arrange that? (I did)

Your site is awesome! Let’s get our bands talking about their favorite horror movies! What do you say?” I say fuck yeah!

I took the initiative to go above and beyond what I was asked not because I wanted to appear like someone they needed to hire full-time but because I got swept up in the fever of what I could bring to the site. I did all of this because I wanted to support the bands and artists I loved while also giving the BD readers new content and, hopefully, new music to listen to. I mean, if I loved them, maybe you would too?

I continued as the music editor for several years, interviewing huge names such as Corey Taylor of Slipknot, Kirk Hammett of Metallica, David Ellefson of Megadeth, Scott Ian of Anthrax, Slash of Guns N’ Roses, Rob Zombie, and more. I was able to premiere controversial videos like Cattle Decapitation’s “Forced Gender Reassignment” and Cephalic Carnage’s “Ohrwurm”. I gave away probably a dozen guitars over the years to people who I hope are getting endless amounts of joy from them.

For the site, I visited the sets of Don’t Breathe, Underworld: Blood Wars, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, and I got to party it up in Pittsburgh’s ScareHouse when it was reskinned for Krampus. I got to represent BD at the 2016 Telluride Horror Show, a festival that introduced me to new friends and was one of the best experiences I’ve had. I went to Montreal in 2013 for the Fantasia Film Festival.

None of this is meant to sound like me bragging. Rather, it’s me reflecting on all that I’ve done, all the amazing opportunities I’ve had by being a part of this incredible website. I’ve made friends that I never would’ve known otherwise by being here. I’ve put smiles on the faces of countless people over the years, as well as a hefty dose of angry scowls. I’m not perfect and I fully admit that. What I’m getting at is that this site has been an absolutely amazing experience for me and I can’t imagine what my life would be like had I not sent the message that said, “I want to write for you.” Not only can I not imagine it, I don’t want to.

I think back on the years of me interacting with all of you and I can’t help but tear up. Yeah, I dealt with a fair amount of trolls but I also got to speak with an audience that is passionate, devoted, and deeply cares about the horror genre. I got to bare myself entire for you all not once, but twice, which you all embraced openly, making me feel loved, appreciated, and welcomed.

As I leave, I want to say a few things. First, take it easy on Brad. I know that many of you hate him. But very, very few of you know him like I do. Yes, he’s not an easy person but he is so devoted to what he does that it boggles the mind. He cares about this site more than anyone I know, aside from Tom, of course, and he genuinely loves horror. Admittedly, he sometimes doesn’t present it in a way that is easily accessible or even tolerable, but he never fails to mean well. Trust me on this as he and I have butted heads more times than I care to admit. He’s a good guy, readers. I promise you that.

Two, keep supporting the site. It’d be incredibly pretentious of me to imagine any of you not coming back to the site because I’m no longer here, but that’s not what I mean. What I’m saying is that sites like Bloody-Disgusting are always facing tough times because of how the internet works. I know many of you use ad block but I’m begging you to whitelist BD and then complain via Twitter, email, or even in the comments if the ads are obtrusive or impeding your ability to read articles. Every ad view helps ensure that the site can keep running. After all, you want to make sure John Squires can afford his yearly Fall spending spree on pumpkin-flavored beers, right?

Third, keep loving and supporting horror, in all its forms. I know that we’ve butted heads on whether some films I consider horror are or aren’t. But remember that horror is a feeling and those are unique to each and every one of us. We’re all individual people with our own tastes and reactions who just so happen to share in our love of this wonderful genre. Just because we may not agree on some things doesn’t mean that we should argue or vilify each other. Instead, embrace those differences between us. Cherish them and each other. Thank filmmakers for trying to make something that speaks to us, even if we don’t like it. We’re a genre that isn’t respected by the mainstream population, so we have to have each other’s backs.

Lastly, stay as passionate as you all are now. Your comments reflect your love of the genre and, hopefully, what this site does and has done for over 15 years. Your comments supporting the BD authors are what drive them to keep doing what they do each and every day. Tell us what you love. Tell us what you hate! But never stop talking to us.

To the BD authors I’ve worked with over the years, I can’t tell you how much I loved reading your work and how much I admired your passion and wit. To Tom and Brad, you will always have my boundless thanks for the opportunities that I was given by being a part of BD. To all the readers, you have my deepest and most heartfelt thanks for all the encouragement, love, support, and passion you’ve shown me all these years.

I don’t know what the next step in my journey will be but I know that I am stronger and better because of all of you.

Thank you for the most incredible seven years of my life.

Sincerely,
Jonathan Barkan

Managing editor/music guy/social media fella of Bloody-Disgusting

Editorials

‘Leprechaun Returns’ – The Charm of the Franchise’s Legacy Sequel

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leprechaun returns

The erratic Leprechaun franchise is not known for sticking with a single concept for too long. The namesake (originally played by Warwick Davis) has gone to L.A., Las Vegas, space, and the ‘hood (not once but twice). And after an eleven-year holiday since the Davis era ended, the character received a drastic makeover in a now-unmentionable reboot. The critical failure of said film would have implied it was time to pack away the green top hat and shillelagh, and say goodbye to the nefarious imp. Instead, the Leprechaun series tried its luck again.

The general consensus for the Leprechaun films was never positive, and the darker yet blander Leprechaun: Origins certainly did not sway opinions. Just because the 2014 installment took itself seriously did not mean viewers would. After all, creator Mark Jones conceived a gruesome horror-comedy back in the early nineties, and that format is what was expected of any future ventures. So as horror legacy sequels (“legacyquels”) became more common in the 2010s, Leprechaun Returns followed suit while also going back to what made the ‘93 film work. This eighth entry echoed Halloween (2018) by ignoring all the previous sequels as well as being a direct continuation of the original. Even ardent fans can surely understand the decision to wipe the slate clean, so to speak.

Leprechaun Returns “continued the [franchise’s] trend of not being consistent by deciding to be consistent.” The retconning of Steven Kostanski and Suzanne Keilly’s film was met with little to no pushback from the fandom, who had already become accustomed to seeing something new and different with every chapter. Only now the “new and different” was familiar. With the severe route of Origins a mere speck in the rearview mirror, director Kotanski implemented a “back to basics” approach that garnered better reception than Zach Lipovsky’s own undertaking. The one-two punch of preposterous humor and grisly horror was in full force again.

LEPRECHAUN

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

With Warwick Davis sitting this film out — his own choice — there was the foremost challenge of finding his replacement. Returns found Davis’ successor in Linden Porco, who admirably filled those blood-stained, buckled shoes. And what would a legacy sequel be without a returning character? Jennifer Aniston obviously did not reprise her final girl role of Tory Redding. So, the film did the next best thing and fetched another of Lubdan’s past victims: Ozzie, the likable oaf played by Mark Holton. Returns also created an extension of Tory’s character by giving her a teenage daughter, Lila (Taylor Spreitler).

It has been twenty-five years since the events of the ‘93 film. The incident is unknown to all but its survivors. Interested in her late mother’s history there in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota, Lila transferred to the local university and pledged a sorority — really the only one on campus — whose few members now reside in Tory Redding’s old home. The farmhouse-turned-sorority-house is still a work in progress; Lila’s fellow Alpha Epsilon sisters were in the midst of renovating the place when a ghost of the past found its way into the present.

The Psycho Goreman and The Void director’s penchant for visceral special effects is noted early on as the Leprechaun tears not only into the modern age, but also through poor Ozzie’s abdomen. The portal from 1993 to 2018 is soaked with blood and guts as the Leprechaun forces his way into the story. Davis’ iconic depiction of the wee antagonist is missed, however, Linden Porco is not simply keeping the seat warm in case his predecessor ever resumes the part. His enthusiastic performance is accentuated by a rotten-looking mug that adds to his innate menace.

LEPRECHAUN RETURNS sequel

Pictured: Taylor Spreitler, Pepi Sonuga, and Sai Bennett as Lila, Katie and Rose in Leprechaun Returns.

The obligatory fodder is mostly young this time around. Apart from one luckless postman and Ozzie — the premature passing of the latter character removed the chance of caring about anyone in the film — the Leprechaun’s potential prey are all college aged. Lila is this story’s token trauma kid with caregiver baggage; her mother thought “monsters were always trying to get her.” Lila’s habit of mentioning Tory’s mental health problem does not make a good first impression with the resident mean girl and apparent alcoholic of the sorority, Meredith (Emily Reid). Then there are the nicer but no less cursorily written of the Alpha Epsilon gals: eco-conscious and ex-obsessive Katie (Pepi Sonuga), and uptight overachiever Rose (Sai Bennett). Rounding out the main cast are a pair of destined-to-die bros (Oliver Llewellyn Jenkins, Ben McGregor). Lila and her peers range from disposable to plain irritating, so rooting for any one of them is next to impossible. Even so, their overstated personalities make their inevitable fates more satisfying.

Where Returns excels is its death sequences. Unlike Jones’ film, this one is not afraid of killing off members of the main cast. Lila, admittedly, wears too much plot armor, yet with her mother’s spirit looming over her and the whole story — comedian Heather McDonald put her bang-on Aniston impersonation to good use as well as provided a surprisingly emotional moment in the film — her immunity can be overlooked. Still, the other characters’ brutal demises make up for Lila’s imperviousness. The Leprechaun’s killer set-pieces also happen to demonstrate the time period, seeing as he uses solar panels and a drone in several supporting characters’ executions. A premortem selfie and the antagonist’s snarky mention of global warming additionally add to this film’s particular timestamp.

Critics were quick to say Leprechaun Returns did not break new ground. Sure, there is no one jetting off to space, or the wacky notion of Lubdan becoming a record producer. This reset, however, is still quite charming and entertaining despite its lack of risk-taking. And with yet another reboot in the works, who knows where the most wicked Leprechaun ever to exist will end up next.


Horror contemplates in great detail how young people handle inordinate situations and all of life’s unexpected challenges. While the genre forces characters of every age to face their fears, it is especially interested in how youths might fare in life-or-death scenarios.

The column Young Blood is dedicated to horror stories for and about teenagers, as well as other young folks on the brink of terror.

Leprechaun Returns movie

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

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