Editorials
Why a New ‘Pet Sematary’ Adaptation Might Be a Great Idea
As September 8th quickly approaches with a new version of Stephen King’s epic horror tome, IT clenched in its pincers, I’ve been revisiting other adaptations of “Uncle Stevie’s” catalogue that could benefit from getting a second cinematic translation.
While some King adaptations stand on their own as outstanding (or at the very least, interesting) pieces of cinema, others are dated, disconnected, and downright disastrous. Oddly enough, one King film seems to be all these things at once, and that film is 1989’s Pet Sematary.
For the uninitiated, here’s the setup…
Both versions of Pet Sematary tell the story of Dr. Louis Creed, his wife, Rachel and their children, Ellie and Gage. The Creed clan moves from their home in Chicago to a small town in – you guessed it – Maine when Louis is offered a job at a state university, a decision he’d soon regret. Work is tough on Louis and the location of the family’s new home is less than desirable. Things get increasingly worse for them when they discover an ancient Micmac burial ground that brings dead things back to life.
Now let’s talk about the source material…
Stephen King’s 1983 novel is one of the scariest books I’ve ever read. That’s not hyperbole; that’s fact. Dread drips from every page as the reader follows Louis Creed’s obsession over his inability to accept the mortality of his loved ones. He does everything within his power to cheat death as if the Hippocratic Oath extends beyond the grave.
The first to fall victim to Louis’ slow descent into madness is Church, the Creed family’s pet cat. Church is laid to rest in the burial ground and returns as a shell of his former self. The resurrected Church is mean. He’s no longer playful. He stinks. And as if a pissy, smelly zombie cat isn’t a huge red flag, Louis decides to bury his son in the same soil after he is run over by one of the many 18-wheelers that speed by their home.
As awful as all that sounds, somehow the novel finds a way to make things worse.
But Pet Sematary’s real source of horror is found in the ancient spiritual entity that stalks the gravesite and its surrounding area, a malevolent being known in Native American folklore as a Wendigo. While rarely explicit on the page, the force of this spirit is omnipresent throughout the novel and plays into the larger King Universe in later books.
Both the tangible and intangible terrors that fill the pages of Pet Sematary slowly build to one of the creepiest final pages of any horror novel ever written. It’s a fantastic macabre yarn that is still effective nearly 35 years after its release.
But in the 1989 film adaption, some things work while others…not so much…
From a screenplay by King himself, Mary Lambert (Urban Legends: Bloody Mary) directs a stripped-down version of the novel. All the major story beats are there, and most of the visceral horror elements are intact, making is a pretty effective little horror film that is widely considered one of the better King adaptations. When I saw Pet Sematary as a kid (before I read the novel), it scared the shit out of me (especially the Zelda scenes). But upon watching it as an adult, there were diminishing returns (except for those Zelda scenes; they’re still creepy).
The problems with Pet Sematary are manifold, but there are two key issues that hinder it from having any real longevity. The first is how the film looks. Pet Sematary is a product of its time, which is to say it looks a lot like other late ‘80s/early ‘90s horror films. There’s a direct-to-video quality to its composition, and while some of the production design is great (the burial site is fantastically realized), many of the shots and transitions look like they belong on primetime television and not amulti-millionn dollar theatrical release.
The other issue is how the film pretty much ignores any of the spiritual elements from the novel. There is no sense of ominous terror in the film. We get the gore and the shocks and the resurrection and that’s about it, which ultimately should be enough to appease book-readers (and it almost is).
At the end of the day, I don’t dislike Pet Sematary. There are some great horror moments that have been burned into my psyche and some solid performances (except King’s weird obligatory cameo) to admire. But it says something about the strength of the novel when I can read it after already watching the film and being privy to the demise of key characters and find myself still getting creeped out by what’s happening on the page.
So, what next?
Pet Sematary has a timeless sense of place and horror. There are a plethora of talented filmmakers who could bring this story to a new generation of film-goers – in fact, IT director Andy Muschietti just recently expressed interest. But my top pick? Give it to Robert Eggers (The Witch). That dude understands the importance of atmosphere and the sense of place in a communal horror story. I think he could easily realize a film adaptation that would treat the burial ground as its own character, which was completely lacking from the first film.
Also, his version of Zelda would probably fuck me up for life.
Editorials
‘Leprechaun Returns’ – The Charm of the Franchise’s Legacy Sequel
The erratic Leprechaun franchise is not known for sticking with a single concept for too long. The namesake (originally played by Warwick Davis) has gone to L.A., Las Vegas, space, and the ‘hood (not once but twice). And after an eleven-year holiday since the Davis era ended, the character received a drastic makeover in a now-unmentionable reboot. The critical failure of said film would have implied it was time to pack away the green top hat and shillelagh, and say goodbye to the nefarious imp. Instead, the Leprechaun series tried its luck again.
The general consensus for the Leprechaun films was never positive, and the darker yet blander Leprechaun: Origins certainly did not sway opinions. Just because the 2014 installment took itself seriously did not mean viewers would. After all, creator Mark Jones conceived a gruesome horror-comedy back in the early nineties, and that format is what was expected of any future ventures. So as horror legacy sequels (“legacyquels”) became more common in the 2010s, Leprechaun Returns followed suit while also going back to what made the ‘93 film work. This eighth entry echoed Halloween (2018) by ignoring all the previous sequels as well as being a direct continuation of the original. Even ardent fans can surely understand the decision to wipe the slate clean, so to speak.
Leprechaun Returns “continued the [franchise’s] trend of not being consistent by deciding to be consistent.” The retconning of Steven Kostanski and Suzanne Keilly’s film was met with little to no pushback from the fandom, who had already become accustomed to seeing something new and different with every chapter. Only now the “new and different” was familiar. With the severe route of Origins a mere speck in the rearview mirror, director Kotanski implemented a “back to basics” approach that garnered better reception than Zach Lipovsky’s own undertaking. The one-two punch of preposterous humor and grisly horror was in full force again.
With Warwick Davis sitting this film out — his own choice — there was the foremost challenge of finding his replacement. Returns found Davis’ successor in Linden Porco, who admirably filled those blood-stained, buckled shoes. And what would a legacy sequel be without a returning character? Jennifer Aniston obviously did not reprise her final girl role of Tory Redding. So, the film did the next best thing and fetched another of Lubdan’s past victims: Ozzie, the likable oaf played by Mark Holton. Returns also created an extension of Tory’s character by giving her a teenage daughter, Lila (Taylor Spreitler).
It has been twenty-five years since the events of the ‘93 film. The incident is unknown to all but its survivors. Interested in her late mother’s history there in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota, Lila transferred to the local university and pledged a sorority — really the only one on campus — whose few members now reside in Tory Redding’s old home. The farmhouse-turned-sorority-house is still a work in progress; Lila’s fellow Alpha Epsilon sisters were in the midst of renovating the place when a ghost of the past found its way into the present.
The Psycho Goreman and The Void director’s penchant for visceral special effects is noted early on as the Leprechaun tears not only into the modern age, but also through poor Ozzie’s abdomen. The portal from 1993 to 2018 is soaked with blood and guts as the Leprechaun forces his way into the story. Davis’ iconic depiction of the wee antagonist is missed, however, Linden Porco is not simply keeping the seat warm in case his predecessor ever resumes the part. His enthusiastic performance is accentuated by a rotten-looking mug that adds to his innate menace.
The obligatory fodder is mostly young this time around. Apart from one luckless postman and Ozzie — the premature passing of the latter character removed the chance of caring about anyone in the film — the Leprechaun’s potential prey are all college aged. Lila is this story’s token trauma kid with caregiver baggage; her mother thought “monsters were always trying to get her.” Lila’s habit of mentioning Tory’s mental health problem does not make a good first impression with the resident mean girl and apparent alcoholic of the sorority, Meredith (Emily Reid). Then there are the nicer but no less cursorily written of the Alpha Epsilon gals: eco-conscious and ex-obsessive Katie (Pepi Sonuga), and uptight overachiever Rose (Sai Bennett). Rounding out the main cast are a pair of destined-to-die bros (Oliver Llewellyn Jenkins, Ben McGregor). Lila and her peers range from disposable to plain irritating, so rooting for any one of them is next to impossible. Even so, their overstated personalities make their inevitable fates more satisfying.
Where Returns excels is its death sequences. Unlike Jones’ film, this one is not afraid of killing off members of the main cast. Lila, admittedly, wears too much plot armor, yet with her mother’s spirit looming over her and the whole story — comedian Heather McDonald put her bang-on Aniston impersonation to good use as well as provided a surprisingly emotional moment in the film — her immunity can be overlooked. Still, the other characters’ brutal demises make up for Lila’s imperviousness. The Leprechaun’s killer set-pieces also happen to demonstrate the time period, seeing as he uses solar panels and a drone in several supporting characters’ executions. A premortem selfie and the antagonist’s snarky mention of global warming additionally add to this film’s particular timestamp.
Critics were quick to say Leprechaun Returns did not break new ground. Sure, there is no one jetting off to space, or the wacky notion of Lubdan becoming a record producer. This reset, however, is still quite charming and entertaining despite its lack of risk-taking. And with yet another reboot in the works, who knows where the most wicked Leprechaun ever to exist will end up next.
Horror contemplates in great detail how young people handle inordinate situations and all of life’s unexpected challenges. While the genre forces characters of every age to face their fears, it is especially interested in how youths might fare in life-or-death scenarios.
The column Young Blood is dedicated to horror stories for and about teenagers, as well as other young folks on the brink of terror.
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