Simply saying that 2017 was a banner year for the horror genre might just be the understatement of the century. The literary master of fright, Stephen King, made this past year his bitch with an array of his stories being adapted for both the big and small screen. The long-awaited Stack-infused episodes of Unsolved Mysteries finally found its way to a streaming service, and the slasher favorites of the genre, such as Jigsaw and Chucky, made a welcomed cinematic return to horror fans. Hell, we even got to venture back to Twin Peaks for fuck’s sake!
In short, pretty much every horror fan got something they wanted this year.
Horror and comedy have an unusual, yet incredible relationship in the world of cinema (even if it’s sometimes unintentional – like Pennywise dancing his clown ass off for Bev – you just can’t help but snicker a little). With 2017 being no exception to the occasional soda-through-your-nose moments, I gave myself the daunting, yet awesomely amusing task of sifting through some of the hilarious moments of this past year. So get yourself ready by grabbing a fresh change of underwear because as good ole’ Negan would say, “It’s gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon.”
“American Horror Story: Cult”: Cheeto Face
The controversial seventh season, and arguably one of the best entries of American Horror Story, came full circle in November with a respectable eleven terrifying episodes. With each installment of Cult digging deeper into a psychologically unnerving storyline, AHS alumni Evan Peters shined the brightest by portraying multiple characters. Peters’ performance as Kai is easily considered one of the series’ most disturbed. Even so, early on Kai was kind of… hilarious. If you didn’t let out a little chuckle when he smeared blended Cheetos puffs all over his mug in honor of his candidate’s electoral victory, you might need to work on your sense of humor.
Kong: Skull Island: “Bitch Please…”
2017 not only marked a triumphant return for the slasher, but also a giant welcome back to one of horror’s greatest movie monsters, Kong! The action-packed Skull Island was pretty generous with throwing around a few laughs and memorable one-liners; a lot from John C. Reilly. Still, Reilly was no match for the king of cinematic swearing, Samuel L. Jackson.
Jackson’s gloriously colorful vocabulary has become sort of a calling card for the veteran actor. We just expect the man to drop a “motherfucker” line towards someone in anything he appears in. Kong was no exception, well, sort of. He almost had the line out before meeting his fate with Kong’s fist, who wasn’t having any of his mouth. As amusing as that was, it was Jackson’s verbal display of aggravation with Mason Weaver (Brie Larson), that had us all roaring with laughter. A true classic never goes out of style.
“Stranger Things 2”: “How Was the Pull Out?”
Stranger Things 2 was one among one of the greatest goddamn things to hit Netflix this year. Given the number of genre gems the streaming service put out in 2017, that’s quite a feat. The Duffer Brothers creation is known for throwing your emotions all over the place, whether it be terror, fuzzy-heartfelt exchanges, and of course laugh-out-loud moments. There were plenty of the latter, especially, the morning after our Nancy and Jonathan finally hook up. Murray Bauman is that immature seventh grader in all of us who catches our friends doing naughty things… “How was the pull out?”
Get Out: Rod’s TSA Spidey-Sense
I suppose seeing as how Jordan Peele’s phenomenal psychological mind-fuck Get Out is labeled as a comedy/musical from the Golden Globes, may as well throw it on this list as well, right?! Seriously speaking though, supporting character Rod is pretty damn funny and a much-needed dose of comic relief from one twisted tale of brainwashing fuckery. When speaking with Rose on the phone attempting to locate his buddy, Rod’s “TSA shits are a-tinglin'” and things escalate pretty quickly. Rod lets out a string of WTFs in response to creepy-as-shit Rose’s bullshit accusations, with a random as hell ‘bye from Rod at the end of the conversation.
Now that was pretty funny.
The Babysitter: Blood Soaked John
As I mentioned earlier, Netflix brought horror goods aplenty in 2017 and The Babysitter ranks right up there with its off-the-wall humor and gore. Comedian and internet personality King Bach (Andrew Bachelor) plays one of babysitter Bee’s minions in her satanic cult. The Babysitter has an abundance of shit-your-pants funny moments, but John here really stands out among his devil worshipping buddies as the comedic frontrunner. Easily one of the funniest scenes from the film was John getting doused with blood not once, but twice. Welp, if a RC car didn’t take him out, AIDS would have.
“Twin Peaks: The Return”: Dougie Jones
26 years after its primetime debut, David Lynch’s wonderful oddball world set in Twin Peaks made good on its promise to, “see us again in 25 years.” As a huge “Peaks” dweeb, I couldn’t wait for another dive into a puzzling world with the Log Lady, Audrey Horne, and of course, Agent Dale Cooper. Except in perfect Lynch fashion, the Eraserhead director blue-balled Coop’s return for an agonizing 16 episodes. In his place, we got Dougie fuckin’ Jones.
Albeit, for the most part, Dougie was certainly amusing. Watching Coop as Dougie trying to figure out the world around him, like an alien from another planet, made up for some pretty funny TV. From Dougie doing endless pee-pee dances to his rise as Mr. Jackpots, and my personal favorite, his undying love for a damn, fine cup of coffee, Dougie was pure entertainment.
Little Evil: Father Therapy
Netflix’s comedy spin on an Antichrist child Little Evil is without a doubt one of the funniest damn things I’ve seen all year. With the horror-comedy starring genre vets such as Adam Scott (Krampus) and Tyler Labine (Dale and Tucker vs Evil), I didn’t really expect any less. However, the greatest aspect from this little gem is the Stepdad Club.
The initial introduction of the whole group in a father therapy session is probably one of the best things you’ll see all day if you’ve yet to get around to this one. Also, if you think you have a troubled kid, this oughta make you feel a little better about life. At least your little monster isn’t shitting in your sock drawer.
Cult of Chucky: “You fucking with me?!”
Underneath that homicidal plastic exterior is a comedic national treasure. Even going back to the serious tone of the first film, Chucky had a hilariously twisted sense of humor. Need I remind anyone of the elevator scene with the old couple? Thirty years later, I’m still laughing at that epic, “Fuck you.”
This year’s Cult of Chucky had plenty of those types of moments. This one scene, in particular, tops all others as a confused Chucky gets seriously annoyed with crazy Angela in the psyche ward and promises to return and take care of business in the only way he knows how.
“The Walking Dead”: “Stupid little prick named Rick…”
Here’s the thing: I have been a faithful viewer of The Walking Dead since it’s Halloween debut back in 2009, and have never missed an episode. Over the past eight years, the series has had its ups and downs, much like any other program, but hoo boy, when Jeffrey Dean Morgan stepped out of that trailer whistling like a demented zippity-doo-da-derie psychopath, The Walking Dead was forever changed.
I never thought I would replace my beloved Governor as my main dream squeeze, but in all seriousness, I’m pretty sure Negan could kick the shit out of Phillip. What can I say, I love the bad boys…
Since Negan’s loud debut in the finale of season six, it’s been one dirty joke and incredibly awesome insult one right after another. Sure, he’s a total bastard, but it’s hard to hate a guy who goes around using phrases like, “Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy!” or, my personal favorite, “Stupid little prick named Rick who thought he knew shit, but didn’t know shit…” Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks so either. Youtuber SoppySofax made an epic Negan musical mash-up from that line alone, plus a few other notable Negan euphemisms.
IT: Richie Tozier’ Roasts
I’m just gonna say it: Finn Wolfhard should be declared a goddamn national treasure.
Between Stranger Things and the massive success of Stephen King’s IT this year, Wolfhard is riding high as one of the coolest kids ever in the horror genre. The fourteen-year-old actor who portrayed one of the Loser’s Club fan favorites, Richie Tozier, slayed not just Pennywise, but our guts with all those glorious roasts in the film… particularly those directed at Eddie’s mother. Attempting to pick a singular funny as hell moment from little Tozier in IT just doesn’t seem fair as they’re all equally a riot.
No, your mom…