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10 Romantic Horror Flicks to Set the Valentine’s Day Mood

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When it comes to epic romances that tug at your heartstrings and bring a tear to your eye, horror films don’t normally come to mind. Of course, true horror fans know that the genre can encapsulate a wide array of emotions and themes. Trying to pigeonhole horror into a tiny little box of blood and guts is not only reductive, but it’s disrespectful to the long heritage of filmmakers who have managed to use the genre as a platform for a multitude of stories representing various life experiences. Furthermore, fear is often derived from the sense of loneliness or solitude. To exploit such emotion it can become necessary to build dichotomy into the story. Those opposing forces can often be represented by love and whatever evil seeks to destroy it.

With that in mind and with “love day” just a blink of the eye away, I decided to round up 10 of the most romantic horror flicks to help set the Valentine’s Day mood. Perhaps, not so surprisingly given the preamble above, it was difficult to narrow the list down to only ten! The films follow in no particular order.


Nightbreed: Director’s Cut (1990)

Clive Barker’s classic “who’s the real monster” tale of a clan of Nightbreed eking out an existence below a crumbling graveyard, only to have to fight for survival once they’re discovered by humans- was butchered by the studio upon its initial theatrical release. Thankfully, a rabid fanbase with the assistance of Scream Factory managed to rescue a large portion of Barker’s original vision. At the heart of the story is Boone, a tormented young man drawn to the Nightbreed, and his lover, Lori. She’s drawn to Boone, wherever he may go. While their romance exists in the theatrical cut, it’s the Director’s Cut that truely places their romance front and center. The newly revived climactic scene is enough to pull a few tears from the eyes of the hopeless romantic in us all.


Let the Right One In (2008)

At its heart, Let the Right One In is a beautiful tale of young love withstanding the odds in order to build a bond stronger than the world could ever possibly tear away. However, at the core of the beating heart are some icky, perma-slave, quasi-pedo elements. But, let’s not dwell on that, shall we? The most heart melting moments throughout the film are those involving the duo’s communication via morse code through their thin, adjoining apartment walls. Naturally, that talent also comes in handy for a vampire who has to stay cooped up inside of a wooden box during the daytime. Knock. Knock. Many prefer the American remake, Let Me In, but personally, this Swedish original is where it’s at. Nonetheless, either version will make perfect viewing if you’ve been struck by cupid’s arrow.


Cemetery Man (1994)

From the “I wish you were still making movies” director Michele Soavi (Stagefright, The Sect) comes an ambitious, sometimes hallucinatory vehicle for star Rupert Everett, Cemetery Man (aka Dellamorte Dellamore). Loosely based off the comic Dylan Dog, Everett plays bumbling groundskeeper Francesco Dellamorte at a cemetery where the dead continuously rise from the grave. As the last bastion between the living and the dead, he manages to keep things mostly under control until he falls for a beautiful widow, who despite certain unfortunate events seems to keep reincarnating herself in Dellamorte’s eyes. Cemetery Man is deeply loved by almost all who’ve had the chance to see it. Unfortunately, it seems to be still criminally underseen. So, if you and your loved one want to stay in this Valentine’s and avoid the crowds, this lovely gem comes with one of my highest recommendations.


The Whip and the Body (1963)

The Whip and the Body

Another Italian entry on the list is from the godfather of Italian horror, Mario Bava. The Whip and the Body is the only true gothic horror film on a list that could potentially be made up of only gothic horrors. Upon its release here in the states, the film was heavily edited due to sadomasochistic themes running throughout. Thankfully, it exists now in its uncut glory. Christopher Lee as a sadistic ghost with a whip? Yes, sir, may I have another? While fairly tame by today’s standards, Whip maintains that beautiful Bava style, haunting gothic atmosphere, and enough kink to satisfy those more adventurous couples out there.


The Fly (1986)


The Fly

One of the most disgusting films on the list also happens to be one of the most traditionally accepted as a romantic horror film, 1986’s The Fly. How’s that for dichotomy? It’s likely due to the powerhouse name of director David Cronenberg and then-peak performances from Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum. While the love between Brundlefly and Veronica might turn your stomach, if you’re in the mood for a double feature, you could do worse than following this up with The Fly II. Sure, Daphne Zuniga and Eric Stoltz are no Davis and Goldblum, but it’s a charming enough sequel directed by the former’s special effects artist, Chris Walas. So, you know it’s just as gooey as the romance at its center.


Spring (2014)

Spring

Fans of Richard Linklater’s The Before Trilogy need take notice of this similarly-vibed tale from Resolution duo, Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead. In Spring, Evan (Lou Taylor Pucci of the Evil Dead remake) travels to Italy after the loss of his mother. Aimless and seeking adventure, he meets the mysterious Louise (Nadia Hilker) who refuses to give him the time of day at first. What follows is “hangout” flick bolstered by gorgeous scenery and strong performances. Of course, this is on a horror list, and Louise’s relationship threatening secret is bigger than your typical romantic drama. No, she doesn’t have a fiance. And, no, she didn’t start dating him just to win a bet. True love can always overcome a few skeletons (or monsters) in the closet.


Bride of Chucky (1998)

Bride of Chucky

Don Mancini, the mastermind behind the entire Child’s Play franchise, has never been afraid of reinvention. In the late 90s, horror was making a huge comeback and the studios were dusting off their catalog of 80’s horror icons. Mancini knew he would need to breathe new life into the franchise in order to keep Chucky relevant in the post-Scream era. Ultimately, the direction he went with Bride of Chucky proved polarizing to some fans. This fan, however, was all in for the story of Chucky and his bride to be, Tiffany. Bride sees the Bonnie and Clyde of the rubber doll set on the run along with a pair of forbidden lovers who just may end up unknowingly taking the fall for the murderous Good Guys in their presence. Bride has its tongue firmly-in-cheek and the doll on doll sex scene proved there’s nowhere a Chucky film was afraid to go.


Psychos in Love (1987)

Psychos in Love

Psychos in Love was touted as “Too Gory for the Silver Screen” and promoted as the first film made for the video market. That fact is still up for debate, but whatever the film’s origins, Psychos is a zany delight. The epitome of independent cinema, shot entirely on weekends with short ends, the story chronicles the relationship of two murderous nutjobs who find love and struggle to keep the spark going despite the numerous difficulties of serial murder. This one is for those couples who’ve been together for years and need to spice things up a bit.


Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)

Return of the Living Dead 3 - Julie

After the perceived failure of Return of the Living Dead 2, the rights changed hands. The vastly underrated Brian Yuzna (Bride of Reanimator, Society) along with writer John Penney (The Kindred) were brought in to find a new direction for the series. The decision was made to drop the comedy angle of the previous films and focus on a tale of starstruck young lovers. Return of the Living Dead 3 is one of a million modern riffs on Romeo & Juliet, but it’s elevated by amazing makeup effects work from a conglomeration of SFX houses. There’s also the go for broke performance from Melinda Clarke as the Trioxin infected Julie(t) who resorts to self-harm to alleviate the pain of being dead. There are a number of zombie love stories out there, but ROTLD3 is simply one of the best.


Beyond the Darkness (1979)

Beyond the Darkness

This recommendation is for the genuine sickos out there. Beyond the Darkness is one of the full-tilt nastiest flicks from Italian sleaze provocateur Joe D’Amato. Frank is a taxidermist who toils away in his dingy lab preserving animals and shares a deeply uncomfortable connection with his housekeeper from childhood, Iris. He’s also madly in love with his fiance, Anna. Unfortunately, the breastfeeding time that Iris shares with Frank just isn’t enough, and she turns to voodoo to erase Anna from the picture. Let’s just say, Frank doesn’t let a little thing like death get in the way of him and his beloved. He is a taxidermist after all.

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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