|release date||October 5 1999|
|trailer 1||Trailer #1|
Rated R (i have no idea)hardly blood, no sex, no drugs, not scary.
Well, It seems like I get stuck with all the crappy movies.
The movie starts off with a murder at the side of a road. A mom is driving her son, notices an accident and stops. She gets out of the car, walks into a forest for a bit and see’s some dude bonk some girl off the head with an axe. The dude then starts chasing the mom onto the road then bonks her with the axe. The kid notices this is in the car. The dude, then grabs the kid and puts the kid in the trunk. The kid realizes that it’s his father! WOW EH! (sarcastic)
20 Years later. A car is being driven down a road filled with teenagers (but some of the actors are lookin well into their late 20′s) The dude driving is the kid that got thrown into the trunk of the car. They are all going to his old house (Now his grandmas and grandpas) to celebrate. They get their and everything is fine, happy, “oh, grandma i love u, these are my freinds”, this type of crap, u know.
Upstairs in the attic lives this Indian dude that was freinds with the family. The ancestors of this indian dude carved this statue of a wooden guy. This wooden guy apprently protected the indian tribes or some gay crap like that. You can tell it’s a rubber suit when he’s chasing people around after like a retard.
So, finally the main dude (the dude that saw his father kill his own mom and then locked him in the trunk) held a special gathering dinner that night where they had to dress up in their worst fears.
In no time, the lights get shut off and the typical “Oh, u better go down into the basement to turn the breaker back on” act was placed. Typical, typical freaken TYPICAL! The dudes freinds start getting killed one by one by the wooden guy named “morty” and so on and so on…
This movie sucked the BIG FREAKEN CHEESE! NOT EVEN CHEESE! CHEESE WOULD BE GOOD COMPARED TO THIS PIECE OF PLASTIC CRAP!
Wanna know how bad? Well, the guy that played the wooden guy would blink when he’s a statue. The people would be talking around him type thing, and all of a sudden, “BLINK”. It was not suppose to be noticed. They could of used an actual statue for the those scences, then put some guy in a wooden rubber suit for the chase scenes.
I give it 4 out of 10. Just because the idea of a wooden statue coming to life and chasing people around was cool. The girls were hot, and the acting was decent for a horror flick. The film quality was also good for a direct to video horror flick. THE ENDING SUCKED ASS!
If you got nothing else to see and want a movie that you can easily pick out flaws and bloopers, get this one. Otherwise, watching SCREAM 1 will satisfy you more then this piece of wooden crap . Pardon my language, i better go watch something else now…