Cemetery Man (V) release date June 13 2006 studio 20th Century Fox, Anchorbay director Michele Soavi writer Giana Romoli starring Rupert Everett, Francois Hadji-Lazaro, and Anna Falchi rating R Official Score: Average User Rating: ADD A USER REVIEW 38 comments Posted By wolves-ate-the-king on July 1, 2008 @ 2:04 am Log in to Reply ★★★★★ i just watched this movie and loved it. great movie filled with humor, love, zombies and the meaning of life? Posted By j34ngr4y on July 18, 2008 @ 8:42 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ DELAMORE DELAMORTE I love this movie and everything about it! It’s so original and ground breaking, the acting is fantastic!!! The script the camra work the directing it’s all good!!! I loved how our hero narated the film and I LOVED his obsession with the phone books…lol!!! I give CEMETERY MAN 10 snowglobe worlds out of 10 snowglobe worlds!!! Well I’m going to go watch this one right now…CAUSE IT F-ING ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!! Posted By Frantic-Disembowelment on September 9, 2008 @ 10:30 am Log in to Reply ★★★☆☆ It seems to be a typical Italian horror movie, but it’s not. What makes this one special is that they combine horror clichés with funny jokes. You think you know what is going to happen ’cause you’ve seen all before, but then you’re surprised by an unexpected scene. Thus this movie never gets boring. Although the end is a little bit stupid and not reasonable. Posted By thedescent08 on September 9, 2008 @ 8:14 pm Log in to Reply ★★★☆☆ Just OK. not bad or good, really. Posted By RedSabbath on September 20, 2008 @ 3:11 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ Originally released as Dellamorte Dellamore, this is from director Michele Soavi, who mostly to this point was known as a right-hand-man to some of the most inventive Italian directors of the 70′s and 80′s such as Dario Argento, Lamberto Bava, and Joe D’Amato. He even worked side by side with Monty Python legend Terry Gilliam. But with this effort known in the states as Cemetery Man, he took those influences to new heights of the surreal and in doing so, sort of alienated the core Italian Horror fanbase in the process. I first recognized his solo work in his 1988 film The Church. But like that film he takes to Horror, unlike his teachers, by putting the gore and frights second and the dream-like visuals and themes first. But it was the reverse order that made Italian Horror cinema so successful in the 80′s, and in my opinion adding more “class” is what killed it as a whole by the mid-90′s. Sure, Horror can have broader themes, and at times it can work quite well, but when you deal with things such as language barriers, small budgets, and a world outside of Hollywood, if what you did worked already, you shouldn’t try to fix it. And that’s what Soavi tried to do with Cemetery Man. Starring a pre-famous Rupert Everett, is a story of a groundkeeper of a small cemetery where the people buried in it rise from their graves about a week later. The film starts like any other of the Italian Zombi group, and quite well with real-time gore effects that are impressive, but soon the story takes a weird romantic turn as Francesco falls for a young bride of a new burial and the whole film get very surreal. Along the way, with his faithful mute sidekick Gnaghi, who’s a dead ringer for Curly Howard’s Italian cousin, things go quite strange. The local goverment has an idea that the dead are rising here, but doesn’t seem to care. Francesco’s love eventually meets a grizzly fate only to return in his life in not one but three different incarnations. And when Francesco himself questions existence here, his over-the-top actions are not only passed by, but not seeming to even be ever happening in the first place. And in the end, we get a glimpse of closure of what we saw, but leaving many questions unanswered and sorta empty inside. The disc itself is quite nice, with a long documentary on the background of Soavi, a 5.1 audio mix, trailers of other classic 80′s/90′s underground horror (strangely all American releases this time), and a beautifully remastered picture. Sure, I would have loved to have a commentary track explaining why the plot was what it was, or any involvement from Everett after the fact, but Anchor Bay has yet again presented a movie with great detail, if it deserves it or not. Concluding, I’m sorta torn on Cemetery Man. Visually it’s stunning with it’s images and themes of love and the afterlife with Zombi tones, but honestly that’s not what we wanted or was accustomed to from Italy’s Horror Zombi crowd. Sure, greats like Bava or Argento provided similar themes in their 80′s works, but with Soavi it somewhat falls flat in the 90′s. Probably the last decent Italian Horror film to come out from there, Cemetery Man shows just why that unfortunately came to pass and their Zombiworld’s days were numbered. (RedSabbath Rating:7.0/10) Posted By Darkstorn on September 20, 2008 @ 7:19 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ This is an Italian movie (don’t worry, the in-movie language is English) about love, life, philosophy, and ZOMBIES! It’s very funny, and has some famous nude scenes, but is not quite on par with others in the horror/comedy genre (i.e. Evil Dead series, Re-Animator, etc.). Even so, it is worth seeing, if only for the spectacularly surreal ending! Posted By roostergore on September 28, 2008 @ 11:57 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ If you consider yourself a horror fan then his movie has to be in your collection. It is one of the best zombie films in the last decade, and you need to treat yourself to it if you have not seen it yet. Shame on you if you have not. Posted By nelmes69 on October 2, 2008 @ 5:44 pm Log in to Reply ★★★☆☆ WTF? I watched this as the plot sounded like something I would enjoy. (A cemetery man must kill the dead a second time when they become zombies) And to be candid I did enjoy it to some extent. It begins like a fun B-horror, and then half way through it becomes one of the most bizarre films I have ever seen. The film is several films rolled into one…zombie gore film, dark comedy, romance story? Rupert Everett is brilliant as the main character. And the photography is visually stunning (artsy Euro style) But maybe I’m unsophisticated or have just watched too many Romero/ Lucio Fulci’s zombie films? Because I can’t even write here what happened in this film because to be honest I have no idea? Posted By bigmo_402 on October 9, 2008 @ 4:01 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ This ranks up there with one of the strangest movies i’ve seen. I’m not sure what I just saw also. It was entertaining though. Definitely worth watching to find out. Posted By tonikeen on October 16, 2008 @ 3:06 pm Log in to Reply ★★★☆☆ a very odd movie. at times i couldn’t decide whether i liked it or not, but i was laughing most of the time. if this flick isn’t considered a cult-film, it should be. Posted By depecheanix on October 16, 2008 @ 3:10 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ A true cult classic and possibly the best horror film of its decade. Posted By Thommy-Razor on October 16, 2008 @ 5:39 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ I love this damn movie. Every part of it. It’s a deeply romantic love story, an intelligent comedy, and a zombie movie. Well written, well acted, and if the effects were LESS cheesy I don’t think it would’ve worked as well. It needed to be low budget. And, I find the ending to still be one of the most disturbing ever filmed. Also, one of the best comic to film adaptations. This movie has a very special place in my heart. Posted By Dainzig on October 21, 2008 @ 3:33 am Log in to Reply ★★★★★ I love this movie!! This is a classic. I love everything about this movie. It’s serious.. but it’s not serious,it has some twisted romance and has some cool zombies. The atomosphere in this film is great, hands down. Definitely recommended to your collection. Posted By Turk3102 on December 2, 2008 @ 4:48 pm Log in to Reply ★☆☆☆☆ Ehh… Posted By DAGDIS on January 6, 2009 @ 1:28 am Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ i found it pretty exciting and odd. but in all it was a great movie. i would recomend if you have not seen it go out and rent it first.and if you like it go ahead and buy it like i did Posted By edemons14 on March 5, 2009 @ 4:27 am Log in to Reply ★☆☆☆☆ Not all it’s cracked up to be… Unless you like your zombie experience laced with an overdose of emo, I’d recommend avoiding this movie. Posted By JohnnyHorror30 on March 12, 2009 @ 4:50 am Log in to Reply ★★☆☆☆ I liked the zombie action but I was not into the movie at all, well except for Anna Falchi Posted By Mortagon on March 12, 2009 @ 5:56 am Log in to Reply ★★☆☆☆ I had really high expectations for this movie after reading all the great reviews. Perhaps my expectations were a bit to high, for honestly I didn’t get what all the fuzz was about. Perhaps if I had been stoned when watching it I would appreciate it more. The movie does have some funny moments, but about halfway through the movie became really weird and in the end I just lost interest and could barely watch it through. Posted By TXzombieSC on April 5, 2009 @ 1:16 am Log in to Reply ★★★★★ A very fun movie, it is best appreciated in the same vain as EVIL DEAD II and RE-ANIMATOR. Enough laughs/gore to keep the mildly demented entertained. Then again, you could just watch it for Anna Falchi….Yowza!! Posted By Eradication30214 on April 17, 2009 @ 7:15 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ Cemetery Man, or Dellamorte Dellamore. If you are looking for an exciting film full of zombies, shoot outs, and the nicest pair of breasts I have ever seen grace the screen of a film, then look no further. The film centers on the “cemetery man” whose job it is to keep the undead in their graves. All the while he falls in love with the super nice pair of breasts i mentioned earlier. And then it gets strange. I won’t go into it here, but there are a ton of plot twists, breasts, undead, and a man who falls in love with a severed head. great film. Posted By Mayhem on July 15, 2009 @ 3:54 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ One of the strangest, most beautiful, thought provoking, unique & greatest Zombie films ever made! A film that’s very difficult to pigeonhole, but wholey a genre piece. Highest recommendations, there’s nothing else like it!! Posted By rogue on September 28, 2009 @ 10:40 pm Log in to Reply ★★★☆☆ I didn’t care for this movie much. Posted By teeghxc on October 8, 2009 @ 1:20 am Log in to Reply ★★★★★ This is perhaps my favorite movie of all time. It is dark, comic, creepy, sad, and beautiful. This is a great movie to say the least. Plus Anna Falchi is very possibly the hottest girl of all time. I do not recommend this movie for someone looking for a standard horror film. This movie will kind of make you think a bit. There are a few cheesy parts, the blue spirit things flying around….you can see the string they are being dangled from the entire time, and there are some other things, but none of it puts a damper on this movie. Highly recommended for anyone looking for a great movie to watch. Posted By BKs-Finest on October 17, 2009 @ 5:23 am Log in to Reply ★☆☆☆☆ Hated it Posted By DaynaWidaY on November 7, 2009 @ 7:07 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ I love this movie Anna is sooo sexy and its just all around one of my favs Posted By zombiemistress on November 25, 2009 @ 8:36 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ beautiful and funny! Posted By ZombieNinjaGangbang on December 31, 2009 @ 8:28 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ It’s rare that a film touches me in a way that makes me feel like it was made just for me. Cemetery Man did just that. It follows the twisted life of cemetery keeper Francesco Dellamorte, (Rupert Everett), as he and his perplexed assistant, Nagi, are in a constant battle against what they call “Returners”. On the seventh day of burial, corpses come back to life, hungry for the flesh of the living. Dellamorte narrates the film, and his narrative lines are quirky, and full of dark humor. As Dellamorte says it, “The plot thickens” when the “most beautiful living woman” he’d ever seen soon visits the cemetery to pay her respects to her deceased husband, bringing the romance factor into the film and thus leading Dellamorte and Nagi into a series of events that would be weird even by their standards. Zombies, romance, murder, death, and sexual deviance pursue. A twisted comedy that I’ve heard referred to as “a Tim Burton wet dream”, Cemetery Man is full of satire, violence, beautiful scenery, and amusing quirks. Every shot is put together like a masterpiece painting, every line is spoken like poetry, all of the acting is great, and best of all, it isn’t there to make you think, or scratch your head trying to figure it out, just watch and be entertained. This is possibly my favorite movie of all time. There’s not a rating high enough, so I suppose 10 will have to do. Posted By Hammer-Smashed-Face on February 8, 2010 @ 9:41 pm Log in to Reply ★★★☆☆ Had a friend warn me that he didn’t make it through this one. So, after lowering expectations a bit and giving it a full view, I would have to say he probably shut it off after about the first 30 minutes, and that is understandable. The first part of this movie was not good–bad acting, props straight out of an Ed Wood set, and not funny. But, it got better later when the story of the Cemetery Man and his loyal helper became more endearing and darkly humorous. Kind of a weird movie, and Falchi’s character(s) got a bit strange for me as well (but she is a treat–wow). More amusing was Gnaghi, Everett’s helper, and his relationship with an undead. I would rate this worth a view, but definitely not for everybody’s tastes. Posted By Chuletafilms1 on March 2, 2010 @ 4:49 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ Loved it! Posted By bbuu99 on March 27, 2010 @ 2:59 am Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ Sam Raimi via existential crisis. Bizarre, but fun. NOG! Posted By Niallist on August 10, 2010 @ 4:20 am Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ The nightmare comedy of Evil Dead, the uncomfortable nonsense of a David Lynch movie, and more bloody undead sex than Bram Stoker’s Dracula. The premise of this movie seemed interesting enough (a graveyard caretaker who must re-kill the newly buried dead that keep rising from their graves), but then the plot throws a whole new pile of crazy shit (…I can’t even begin to summarize it all) at you before you can come to terms with the aforementioned premise! Plus tons of titties and necrophilia. I kept being tempted to turn off the movie and dismiss it as a piece of shit, but it was just so fucking crazy bizarre and strangely entertaining that I couldn’t look away. Masterpiece it isn’t. Half-hearted schlock? I don’t think so. Basically, you might like it, you might not, but you should at least watch part of it to find out. Hallucinogens might help, but I don’t have the chestnuts to try. Posted By LuJr81 on August 10, 2010 @ 7:47 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★☆ good weird movie, Everett was great. The ending kinda mindfucked me though I’m still not sure what the ending meant, but overall a movie that deserves at least one viewing. Posted By Captain-Pissgums on September 4, 2010 @ 12:58 am Log in to Reply ★★★★★ This one is special. More bizarre and weird than scary. Watch it with your special someone for a romantic movie night. Posted By murdermakesmecum on January 6, 2011 @ 6:39 pm Log in to Reply ★★★★★ i love movies like this. really weird, lots of dark humor, great acting, great story and a beautiful woman! this pretty much has everything a good movie needs and it should be seen by every american on the planet. must see, must own! Posted By Midnitekrawlr on April 2, 2011 @ 4:41 am Log in to Reply ★★★★★ A superb zombie flick that infuses great cinematic style and drama to the degree of instant “cult classic” status! A definite must see! Posted By Murder-Thru-Charm on April 7, 2011 @ 2:22 pm Log in to Reply ★★★☆☆ Dark enough to scare, strange enough to keep your interest. It’s decent film, but not much of a payoff overall. Posted By DeathRay87 on June 24, 2011 @ 8:44 am Log in to Reply ★★★★★ How any of you can consider this movie less than a masterpiece is beyond me! Great flick. Posted By TheGonzoJoint on October 31, 2011 @ 12:34 am Log in to Reply ★★★★★ “Cemetery Man” is another one of those horror flicks where you either love it or you hate it. I’ve heard some critics call it “vile” and “witless”, while others “appreciate the satirical undertones” and praised the writing as well as the directing. Only a select few are truly in the middle. But you know what…I don’t really care what others think. I love a lot of movies because I should rightfully be able to embrace and remember however many of them I want; and this is, by my definition, certainly one of the greats for its genre. Often cited as the last great Italian horror film, this adaptation of a 1991 novel written by Tiziano Schlavi – author of the popular “Dylan Dog” comics – is a bloody hoot. If that’s what you expect out of director Michele Soavi, who is a noted assistant director for a good number of Italian-Horror legend Dario Argento’s feature films, then you’ll surely have a good time with this one. It’s no surprise that Schlavi’s book covered the material that is at the center of “Cemetery Man”; the film itself resembles “Dylan Dog” in a variety of ways. Take, for instance, the premise: lonely cemetery caretaker Francesco Dellamorte (Rupert Everett) and his child-like assistant Gnaghi (Francois Hadji-Lazaro) work by night to defend their seldom-mentioned town from the returning undead that rise from the graves; zombies. Dellamorte has been doing his job for years now, and the townsfolk appreciate the skill and craft that he exercises in his work. But…what’s a man working the graveyard shift to do? Dellamorte practically has less of a life than his dunce of a business partner. He lacks all love and basically all communication aside from those who respect and appreciate his choice of lifestyle and work. This is why it becomes a problem when Dellamorte finds himself mysteriously in love with a beautiful woman (Anna Falchi); who seduces him and pulls him deeper into an entirely new nightmare of psychological confusion, lust, and human desires. Dellamorte is not much unlike me. He accepts his fate – and the rest of his life – but does not hesitate to challenge it. There are plenty of people who fear that they will never be able to understand or even “access” love; myself included. Francesco Dellamorte, that ever-so-relatable man, is a perfect portrait of the love-fearing internet dweller, the love-fearing gentleman living forever in isolation, or the love-fearing man who chooses where he stands on the romantic food chain. So there is some resonance to be found here. We do indeed care about the two main characters; Dellamorte especially is a worrisome fellow, but his partner is a sympathetic, shy, lonely creature who has desires of his own. There’s a sub-plot in the film where he finds love in the decapitated head of a girl who was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident. It’s this sort of dark comedy that carries the film from goodness to greatness; it will no doubt turn off some people with its violent, off-kilter style; however, if I can recommend it to anyone, it would be those who don’t mind a film that tries to be something different, quirky, and unforgettable. “Cemetery Man” is all of those things, and gladly, not because it tries too hard to be each; but because it simply is. I laughed plenty of times; or at least enough times to say that I felt the humor here was effective. Dellamorte’s daily (or nightly) routine consists of a shower, a phone-call, a not-too-random zombie walk-in, and finally, a burial or two. It is funny because Dellamorte does not see any of these things as abnormal; and indeed, some of them are, and some of them are not. We all take showers, we all make phone calls, but do we all shoot zombies in the head with a pistol? Most of us haven’t come close. Not every horror film – even the truest among them – is intent on horrifying. While it often drifts further away from fright and edges more towards comedy, Soavi’s film is still a “real” horror film. It has characters that we care about, a well-told story with philosophies and thoughts of its own, and spectacular imagery to boot. Those who think about horror movies more than the average genre fan will definitely find something of value here; “Cemetery Man” is thought-provoking and crafted with visionary intentions; and this is precisely why I think it classifies as great cinema. A bizarre, uncomfortable sex scene atop the grave of a lost lover; the widely-known “surprise visit” from the Grim Reaper (Death) himself; and plenty of scenes involving the planting of bullets can all be found here. There’s even an ultra-surreal ending – which I shall not spoil – that most certainly takes the cake for one of the most complicated and philosophical endings for a horror movie…ever. Some might find it pretentious, some might find it meaningless, but when you look into it, the finale isn’t really either of those things. The film, seen through the eyes of simplistic analysis, is a story that highlights the boredoms of reality (love amongst the living) and our hidden yearnings. I find it relevant and creative; atmospheric, beautiful (on both the narrative and production sides), and wickedly entertaining. Not for all tastes, I will admit yet again, but few horror movies are; so for those who might want to check out “Cemetery Man”, you know who you are…or at least you should.