Mutant Chronicles (V)
| release date | August 4 2009 |
| studio | Magnet Releasing |
| director | Simon Hunter |
| writer | Philip Eisner |
| starring | Ron Perlman, Thomas Jane, John Malkovich, Benno Furmann |
| trailer 1 | Trailer #1 |
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caught this on demand wasted 7 bucks on it.this movie was just plain dull,boring and flat out BAD
Terrible. But I give it a couple of extra skulls for what it tried to be.
Terrible. But I give it a couple of extra skulls for what it tried to be.
I’m surprised more people haven’t seen this yet…
Have to agree with the last review though. The movie’s not all that great, but the ideas are there. Hell, the actors are there too! Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, John Malkovich. Devon Aoki’s always fun to look at too. There’s just something wrong here. Is it all the green screens? All the CGI blood? No, but those help.
I think the problem herein is that though the movie has all this potential, it’s no different than any other big action blockbuster. It follows a very familiar formula and leaves you going, “That’s it? That’s the CHRONICLES? Just some 100 minute, predictable action movie?” It feels like something should be unveiled by the end at least but no. Ends with explosions. Yaaaaaaay.
makes chronicles of riddick look good
end of review
I bet the screenplay was fantastic to read, but it just didn’t translate into a good movie. I actually fast forwarded the last twenty minutes.
A somewhat ambitious stab at bloody sci-fi falls flat on it’s face due to some truly awful acting, bad chemistry, and a downright laughable intro performance by a horrendously miscast and obviously bored John Malkovich. At times the movie is watchable because of the bloody mutant-vs-man fighting–but overall the dialogue, script, and performances are just painfully bad. Malkovich and Perlman must have owed someone big to be in this stinker.
Read about this movie awhile ago on Bloody Disgusting but never heard about it again until I saw it in Wal-Mart for 9 bucks. Guess I know why…
I wouldn’t say this movie is downright awful, not even close. But it’s also not even close to a masterpiece. It’s right smack in the middle. Pretty much eveything about this movie is so-so, from the effects, to the acting, to the makeup. At times it has an awesome 300 feel to it (with the green screen backgrounds), at other times it’s hard to imagine what the hell they were thinking..
With Tom Jane, John Malcovich, Ron Pearlman, Mi-Ho from Sin City, and Sean Pertwee from Dog Soldiers, and the cost of 9 bucks, this is a movie that will most certainly get a few spins in my DVD player with a few drinks and laughs..
I thought this was gonna be kinda good but man was I wrong. Really shitty movie, horrible special effects. What happened to you Thomas Jane you use to be a decent actor.
I’m a sucker for stuff like this: a cinematic study of what happens when you combine sci-fi, steam punk, fantasy, horror, action, drama, politics, John Malkovich, kung-fu, Thomas Jane, a little CG, Ron Pearlman, and miniature models up the wazoo. As might be logically expected, it was a failure, but it was a glorious failure. Who thinks of this stuff? Why did all these strange and interesting actors from all around the world show up for this movie? How did this movie based on a role-playing game that I’ve only ever seen on the cover of a Fantasy Flight catalog get so much funding? I watched the special features, and I’m still pretty much baffled. The only thing that was made clear is that the British have a strange idea of entertainment, and that John Malkovich talks very, very quietly. Anyway, the beginning had a lot of stuff going on, but I ended up falling asleep by the middle: The color pallet was totally drab and even though there was a war on, it was a totally uneventful, rainy mess. There was also a bunch of pretentious dialog to schlep through. In this movie’s defense, I will say that I had a nice sleep and woke up totally refreshed and ready for part two! That’s almost ten hours of pure somnolent mutant fun. Sort of. At least the second half was a delicious pop tart of action compared to the bland potato salad that was the first. By far, The Mutant Chronicles’ worst crime is its editing. It’s horrendous. I must have watched at least ten scenes where I didn’t know what happened until five minutes later when I could finally piece it together in my mind. “Oh! He fired his gun.” “Oh! The ‘good’ guys were the ones that blew up that pesky seal!” “Oh! His gun malfunctioned!” “Oh! The movie just ended!” From a distance, Chronicles appears to be a Petri dish of radness. But up close, the sum of its parts does not equal the whole of the rad.
This was just not a watchable movie. 1) The directing was terrible. 2) The screenplay was terrible. 3) Some of the effects were terrible (e.g. blood). 4) The whole corporation idea was entirely useless. 5) I didn’t really care at all about the outcome of the movie. 6) It’s attempts at creating suspense and fear were total failures. 7) Any attempt to be philosophical about the nature of man or society fell flat on its mutant face.
It really hurt to see Malkovich and Perlman (especially the former) in this movie. It even seemed like Malkovich just wanted to get it over with and get the fuck off the set as quickly as possible. It’s hard to believe that the same person who would be in a Manoel de Oliveira movie like “A Talking Picture” would take part in this exercise in bordom.
Cinematic equivalent of wiping your ass with a couple million bucks and flushing them down the the worst toilet in Scotland.
A hodgepodge of genres thrown into a pot and left to simmer, I think it was overcooked.
A well casted, decent sci-fi flick. The story was well put together, with some good visual effects. However, it was still a bit bland at times throughout the film. It was still an somewhat entertaining movie, but in the end remained somewhat dissatisfied.
This is a fun and bad B-movie Scifi at it’s finest.Don’t take it serious and it’s good comedy.It could have been done with the same cast better in better hands.Watch it free on some late nite TV you might get a kick out of it.Remember it’s a B-Movie.