The Dead Are Coming: Simone

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The Narrator
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The Dead Are Coming: Simone

Post by The Narrator » Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:28 am

I've been writing this zombie story for a while. I couldn't think of a better audience than B-D. It is London-centric, and attempting to be more than a straightforward gore fest, this was written as someone who'd spent lots of money on zombie fiction and felt it had gone a bit cold.

There's a prologue (Jim and the Old Man) and the main story beginning up. Teaser below.

Would love some feedback (possibly!)

http://adamthornwriting.blogspot.co.uk/

Teaser

“... Caving in against her will before she crashed the car through inattention, Simone pulled over by some trees leading into a forest that in the dark could have gone on for miles. She couldn’t tell. Strange to think that it might, given how small and personal everything felt, particularly in this car. The unknown peered around every tree and piece of brush, until it was overwhelming, weighing down on the car.

Once the headlights were off her eyes needed some adjusting. There was no light in the world, figuratively or literally, she was running from the inevitable and she knew it.

All Simone could hear was her breathing and the wind whipping past the tiny metal and glass shell she hid in. Try not to breathe on the window, deceased people don’t breathe, condensation is a dead giveaway. The mind likes to play tricks on you when you really want it to shut down and let you sleep, and all she could see was that image burned into her corneas. He stared at Simone. Look away. Look away please. Her mind wasn’t so much playing tricks as bullying her incessantly. The more Simone tried to think of something else the more her other fears came into play. Nothing, there is nothing. Think of the black and take yourself into the calm. It is black, just trees and all you can see is highlights of the immediate wood and the quiet of the dark. You see the light of the near trees, not the enveloping dread around and through them.

Rotten and deteriorating, the faces poked at her through the dark. As they always did. This was sleep for now and she had best acclimatise to it. Welcome to the new you, Simone.”

Very keen to hear your thoughts.

Ta,

Adam

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Willowfang
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Re: The Dead Are Coming: Simone

Post by Willowfang » Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:06 pm

I like it, short and frantic, not like chaos, but you can see her nerves and anxiety are up there
2017 Song Draft
S B - Gonna Get over You
K - Come with Me Now
M M - You're So Vain
D G Sia - Titanium
T S - Bad Blood
M & S - Hopeless Wanderer
T - 50 Ways to Say Goodbye
B - Pompeii
C C - Safe And Sound
Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child

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The Narrator
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Re: The Dead Are Coming: Simone

Post by The Narrator » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:39 am

Thanks Willowfang! There's more of it, I'm putting it up in pieces and seeing how people react. If I'm boring them I'll give up!

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The Narrator
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Re: The Dead Are Coming: Simone

Post by The Narrator » Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:39 am


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