Movies
Story Time: If You Want to Break Up With Me I Won’t Kill You With My Mind.
He’s sick, sad, and strange. And he explores that weird place where humor and horror run into each other. Welcome to the darkly funny world of Paul Bibeau.
Inside you’ll find a creeptacular story entitled “If you want to break up with me I won’t kill you with my mind.” You’ll find more from Bibeau over at Goblin Books.
Just tell me how you feel, okay? I want you to be completely honest. Because if you don’t want to go out with me anymore I need to hear that. I’d be upset sure. But I promise we can still be friends. And I definitely won’t use my powers to put a blood clot in your brain and kill you.
Don’t say nothing’s wrong, because I can tell. There’s this, this distance between us lately. You won’t acknowledge it, but I know it’s there. It’s been there since Tuesday, when that old woman tried to steal your parking spot, and I got into her mind and made her slam the car door on her hand.
What is it? Do you need more time to yourself? Are we moving too fast? You can tell me, because there’s no pressure. I love you so much that I truly want what’s best for you. I know you’re a little worried, because of what happened to Troy, but he was nothing like you. He just didn’t care about people and he hurt me. You’d never do something like that. I don’t want to say more, because that task force is still trying to find him. But he’s not dead or anything. He’s alone somewhere, and he’s going to have a lot of time to think about what he did.
You want to see other people, don’t you? Go ahead! You can say it. Nothing bad will happen. Just say it. Don’t you want to see other people? Seriously. Is that what this is all about?
It’s that bitch, Shelley, isn’t it? The one I’m going to give ovarian cancer? Not because of you, though. She just… she just annoys me sometimes, and I think it would be good to force her go through that so she wouldn’t be so fake all the time. And I know that eventually we’ll be together, so even if you need some space right now, I know it won’t be forever. We were meant to be. I can feel it. This is fine. Fine!
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to start crying. It’s just… I get so emotional when I think about how important we are to each other. And it makes me mad. No, not mad. Frustrated. I’m not really mad, honey.
Wow, what happened to that guy? Over there by the Food Court? It looks like a heart attack – the way he’s turning all purpley. I hope he’s okay.
I didn’t cause that, if that’s what you’re thinking. Really, that wasn’t me. I honestly don’t think it was. I mean, sometimes I get upset, and I can feel this rush of energy, and things just happen. But I’m not doing it on purpose. Like with Shelley. I said I wanted to give her cancer, but I was just kidding. I don’t want her to die. It wouldn’t be my fault if she just… y’know… threw herself off the roof of the school.
Anyway, here: I wrote you a 28-page letter and made you a Paula Cole playlist. Let’s talk this out. I know we can make it work.
After pulling in $28 million at the worldwide box office this month, director (and star) Dev Patel’s critically acclaimed action-thriller Monkey Man is now available to watch at home.
You can rent Monkey Man for $19.99 or digitally purchase the film for $24.99!
Monkey Man is currently 88% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, with Bloody Disgusting’s head critic Meagan Navarro awarding the film 4.5/5 stars in her review out of SXSW back in March.
Meagan raves, “While the violence onscreen is palpable and painful, it’s not just the exquisite fight choreography and thrilling action set pieces that set Monkey Man apart but also its political consciousness, unique narrative structure, and myth-making scale.”
“While Monkey Man pays tribute to all of the action genre’s greats, from the Indonesian action classics to Korean revenge cinema and even a John Wick joke or two, Dev Patel’s cultural spin and unique narrative structure leave behind all influences in the dust for new terrain,” Meagan’s review continues.
She adds, “Monkey Man presents Dev Patel as a new action hero, a tenacious underdog with a penetrating stare who bites, bludgeons, and stabs his way through bodies to gloriously bloody excess. More excitingly, the film introduces Patel as a strong visionary right out of the gate.”
Inspired by the legend of Hanuman, Monkey Man stars Patel as Kid, an anonymous young man who ekes out a meager living in an underground fight club where, night after night, wearing a gorilla mask, he is beaten bloody by more popular fighters for cash. After years of suppressed rage, Kid discovers a way to infiltrate the enclave of the city’s sinister elite. As his childhood trauma boils over, his mysteriously scarred hands unleash an explosive campaign of retribution to settle the score with the men who took everything from him.
Monkey Man is produced by Jordan Peele’s Monkeypaw Productions.
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