Don't make me come over there. I will and you know it.

Never!

Hey! You weren't supposed to know about that! Keep that between us, mmkay?

I thought you ripped it off from somewhere else. Never mind.

Thanks! It took me forever to grow it. Must've been something in this Texas water.

Nice stache....

Just play it cool, man. Talk less about men in tight shorts and talk more about boobies.

LIES!!!!! I'm actually worried that some people on this site think I'm gay though.

Just feel free to place me on top of your dresser then, hopefully your room smells better than your pants/underwear.