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Favorite Monologue(s)

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  • #16
    The brilliant Hesher, is full of memorable dialogues and monologues, a proof of this:

    I pulled this gas tank from an old Chevy. I wanted to blow it up, so I did. What I didn't think about was all the little bits of metal that were going to fly out in every direction. I almost killed myself. I woke up in this hospital and this doctor was like, "Son..." and I said "Don't call me son, you fucking cunt." And he was like, "You blew off your nut." pause I just lost my nut, like that. I went fucking crazy. I assaulted a nurse or a doctor, I don't really remember. I got arrested. I went to juvee. All I could think about was my fucking nut, man. I'm missing a nut. What am I going to do? I had to go looking for it, right? So I busted out of juvee and I went searching. I couldn't find my nut. pause Well, there was this one night I was sitting there and I was taking a shit and I was looking at my balls and I was staring at this little piece of flabby sack where my left nut used to be. And then I saw my right nut for the first time. I was like FUCK MAN, MY NUT! Look I have one, I still have a nut. Right? It's a good nut, it works. God or the fucking devil or whoever the fuck it is you know he left me with one good nut. I still have a fucking nut and it works. And my fucking dick works too. pause Okay, you lost your wife. And you lost your mom. I lost my nut.

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    • #17
      The Princess Bride:

      Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...

      [Vizzini stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground dead]
      Electric 6 Radio Ga Ga
      Chemical Romance Welcome To The Black Parade
      Beatfreakz Somebody's Watching Me
      The Darkness I Believe In A Thing Called Love
      Boogie Pimps Somebody To Love
      Nightcore Land Of Confusion
      Bif Naked Moment Of Weakness
      Rend Collective My Lighthouse
      Dickies Killer Klowns From Outer Space
      Garbage Special
      Cardigans My Favorite Game
      Living Colour Cult of Personality
      Limousines Internet Killed The Video Star
      Alien Ant Farm Smooth Criminal
      Sasha D Russian Girls
      Scatman John Scatman

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      • #18
        Not all of these are monologues. I apologise in advance.

        Craig Toomy: You wanna know how much money I made for you?
        Tom Holby: Yes.
        Craig Toomy: I didn't make any money for you!
        [crawls onto the boardroom table]
        Craig Toomy: I DIDN'T MAKE ANY MONEY FOR YOU! I lost money for you! I lost forty-three million dollars, and I did it deliberately! I did it deliberately! I DID IT DELIBERATELY!
        [laughs, then looks up and sees that Holby has been replaced by his father]
        Roger Toomy: You fool. You stupid fool!

        The Langoliers (1995)


        Lady Sylvia Marsh: Fancy praying to a god who was nailed to a wooden cross, who locked up his brides in a convent. Did they really enjoy themselves, hmm? Poor little virgins masterbating in the dark and then in penance for their sins indulging in flagellation 'til their bodies wept tears of blood. Captive virgins, hmm, in the hands of an impotent god. Dionin will have none of that, Eve.

        The Lair of the White Worm ( 1988 )

        Whitley Strieber: Look at me, I'm naked! I'm talking to you like you're real. Go to Hell!

        Whitley Strieber: I don't want to be crazy.

        Whitley Strieber: [as an Alien readies the Rectal Probe] Can we talk this over? It looks like you're going to sing White Christmas...

        Whitley Strieber: [Doppleganger scene] I am you. And you are me. And we are here. I am the dreamer and you are the dream.

        Communion (1989)

        Preacher: Are you a sinner? Do you wish to be saved?
        Dr. James Xavier: Saved? No. I've come to tell you what I see. There are great darknesses. Farther than time itself. And beyond the darkness... a light that glows, changes... and in the center of the universe... the eye that sees us all.
        [Looks up at the sky]
        Dr. James Xavier: No!
        Preacher: You see sin and the devil! But the lord has told us what to do about it. Said Matthew in Chapter Five, "If thine eye offends thee... pluck it out!"

        X (The Man With the X-Ray Eyes) (1963)

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        • #19
          Anything with Al Pacino, he delivers the best monologues of all time (aside from Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now)!

          [YOUTUBE]RGR4SFOimlk[/YOUTUBE]
          "I want this place to go nuts, north, south, east, west, left, right! Activate this dance floor!!"
          Scott Vogel from Terror

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Santa Sangre View Post
            Anything with Al Pacino, he delivers the best monologues of all time (aside from Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now)!

            [YOUTUBE]RGR4SFOimlk[/YOUTUBE]
            Yeah, but he needs to calm down a little bit. Every little thing he says makes the veins on his neck stick out like piano wire.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Caustic Coffee View Post
              Yeah, but he needs to calm down a little bit. Every little thing he says makes the veins on his neck stick out like piano wire.

              "I want this place to go nuts, north, south, east, west, left, right! Activate this dance floor!!"
              Scott Vogel from Terror

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              • #22
                "Im a man, not a fish!"

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