Hell I gave birth listening to Bing Crosby's holiday tracks on iTunes.
Bing had a voice so smooth it could make a parturient woman forget she was not given a proper epidural. It's too bad he beat his children mercilessly, but yeah, what a voice. I do wish Bing had a better image search algorithm, though.
shopping for my parents this year was luckily pretty easy. My dad wants a gift card from JC Whitney so he can put it towards parts for his Mustang he's been building. My mom wants a home depot gift card to put towards new bed room windows. Ill probably give them $100 each.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, everyone felt
shitty, (even the mouse). Mom on at the whorehouse, and Dad smoking grass, I had just settled down for a nice piece of ass. When out on the roof I heard such a clatter, I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter. While up on the roof, I saw some old prick, I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick. H came down the chimney like a bat out of Hell. I knew in a second, the old fucker had fell. He filled all the stockings with whiskey and beer, and had a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thundering fart. The son of a bitch blew my chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight. "Piss on you all, its been one hell of a night!"
"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody. If, he can help it." -- Mark Twain
"I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature." -- Adolf Hitler