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  • Mental Illnesses/Issues

    Mental illness has a stigma about it that prevents people from being open about their feelings, thoughts, and actions. People are afraid that others will view them as "crazy" or cast them out if they're honest about things of this nature.

    I wanted to make a thread for people to discuss these things in a non-judgmental environment where they can "let it all hang out" without the fear of being made to feel like they're wrong for feeling the things they feel.

    Believe it or not, a lot more people than you might think have mental issues/problems.

    As for me...
    Ever since I was young, I've felt detached from other people with a general sense of loathing for all people (including myself). Over the years, I've become quite good at assimilating (fitting in) but disguising an issue doesn't resolve it. I have problems controlling anger, depression, and self-harming impulses (cutting, burning, etc). I've been going to therapy for a few months now. It's something I probably should have been doing for a lot longer. It hasn't fixed me yet, but it's made me become more aware of my issues and given me ideas for how to deal with them.

    Please, don't be afraid to be honest here...

  • #2
    Is this the right thread?

    I think someone stole my air guitar, I can't find it anywhere. Please let me know if anyone sees it...

    Seriously tho. I feel like I have the "opposite" problem, which then becomes a problem in and of itself.

    I generally have no problem keeping my shit together, so much so that things that could drive others insane barely fuss me. I usually have a pretty fatalistic attitude to most everything around me.

    I've ranted here on BD a few times, even all but lost my shit early on, but I'm also pretty even tempered, only using "hot words" for effect like in the shooting thread really.

    The bad side of this is it makes me feel even more alone sometimes, so when I am down, no one takes my "blues" seriously, or come to me first to cry on my shoulder so I can't very well cry on anyone else's so to speak.
    I met her, fifteen years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding; and not even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this cow, with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach her, and then another seven trying to keep her locked up because I realized that what was living behind that cow's eyes was purely and simply... evil.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Willowfang View Post
      Is this the right thread?

      I think someone stole my air guitar, I can't find it anywhere. Please let me know if anyone sees it...

      Seriously tho. I feel like I have the "opposite" problem, which then becomes a problem in and of itself.

      I generally have no problem keeping my shit together, so much so that things that could drive others insane barely fuss me. I usually have a pretty fatalistic attitude to most everything around me.

      I've ranted here on BD a few times, even all but lost my shit early on, but I'm also pretty even tempered, only using "hot words" for effect like in the shooting thread really.

      The bad side of this is it makes me feel even more alone sometimes, so when I am down, no one takes my "blues" seriously, or come to me first to cry on my shoulder so I can't very well cry on anyone else's so to speak.
      No matter who you are, everyone needs someone else to listen. That's why I started this thread. Sometimes it can be really hard to open up and let your problems spill out. But, as I've discovered, talking about your problems makes me feel better about them.

      For example: Right now, I'm sitting on my couch alone in my house. For the past couple days I've been suppressing the urge to self-harm. There's no trigger or reason why I feel this way. In all actuality, I should be happy because my daughter has been visiting for the holiday. Still, I have the urge to do something to hurt myself or (at least) make me feel numb (sometimes these two things cross over and are one in the same). It just is what it is.

      I think a lot of you, dude. And I want to say that I'll always be here for you to vent to, but I know that's unrealistic because there are times when you'll need someone to listen and I (or someone else) won't be available. Again, that's why I started this thread.

      How about your wife? Have you talked to her about this stuff and does she understand?

      Comment


      • #4
        This is an issue very close to my heart. I was diagnosed with a mild type of Schizophrenia at the age of 12. I had a very rough life growing up and it continues to some extent today. I take more medications than i can even keep up with, just so that i can live a "normal" life. I've been baker-acted several times and so i'm quite familiar with Psychiatric Wards.

        I do get treated differently by people who know my diagnosis, so i try to hide it as much as possible. I consider myself a good person, who's just been dealt a rough hand in life. I try to go on with life in a normal fashion and treat others the way i would like to be treated. It's not easy, and i do have my moments of craziness, but by the grace of god, i make it through. I used to be ashamed of my illness, but no more. Why should i be ashamed of something i had no control over aquiring as a young child? If people can't deal with it... that's their problem for being ignorant.

        Stewie, i don't know you much bro, but hearing about your condition makes me feel closer to you than most any other member here at Bloody-Disgusting. I offer my unconditional friendship to you, and overall, just someone you can chat with when you're feeling down in the dumps. You're not alone, and you certainly don't have to feel that way. Please try not to hurt yourself.... others care about you and if you feel like no one understands, you're wrong... i for one understand and am here to lend an ear, whenever need be.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Hannibal Rex View Post
          For example: Right now, I'm sitting on my couch alone in my house. For the past couple days I've been suppressing the urge to self-harm. There's no trigger or reason why I feel this way. In all actuality, I should be happy because my daughter has been visiting for the holiday. Still, I have the urge to do something to hurt myself or (at least) make me feel numb (sometimes these two things cross over and are one in the same). It just is what it is.
          Never been a cutter or anything myself, but when I am in (physical) pain, I can often pretty much ignore the painfulness part of it an and instead sort of enjoy it. I wouldn't say I'm a masochist exactly, but even as it debilitates me cause it is hard to motivate myself to do anything when in pain, as I'm sure is true for most people, I'm able to instead be entertained by it in a way.

          I think a lot of you, dude. And I want to say that I'll always be here for you to vent to, but I know that's unrealistic because there are times when you'll need someone to listen and I (or someone else) won't be available. Again, that's why I started this thread.
          Thanks, always nice to heard that sort of thing now and then.

          How about your wife? Have you talked to her about this stuff and does she understand?
          Yeah, she does. We had much the same childhood, tho my dad is far more evil than anyone one person in her family, she got it from all sides and her total fucked up childhood I think was a bit worse than mine.

          As for talking, I've been able too, but now that I'm asked pointedly, I think I just don't share that much about this sort of thing.

          I had one fucked up psychologist try to tell me physical and verbal abuse were "love languages" rather than deal with what a piece of shit my father is. I'd already I.D.'d the guy as a fucking idiot, but that was the last straw, never went to see him after that.

          But yeah, I'm certain she'd understand anything I had to say. I ought to share with her when I'm down, but feels kinda weird thinking I'd actually do it.
          I met her, fifteen years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding; and not even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this cow, with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach her, and then another seven trying to keep her locked up because I realized that what was living behind that cow's eyes was purely and simply... evil.

          Comment


          • #6
            I've been living as a manic depressant for alot of my life, and I'm 18 now. much like Rex, I absolutely cannot stand myself or the people around me. I see a counsulor every Friday, but I don't really feel like he's helping me much. I used to have to take 60mg of prozac, but that stopped working so now I'm on a new medicine with my Abilify and sleeping pill. It's hard.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by SeanBrown View Post
              now I'm on a new medicine with my Abilify and sleeping pill. It's hard.
              Abilify was some scary shit for me. It was prescribed for me once and while i was taking it, i wasn't eating much, i was overly paranoid (more than usual), very aggresive with others and near the end of taking it, i started to hear voices. Abilify is supposed to help you NOT hear voices, but with me it just did the complete opposite. My therapist did the wrong thing by taking me off of it cold turkey, instead of doing it little by little.... that same night they took me off it, i put my head through a concrete wall. I'm glad i'm off of it...i've never been so mentally lost in my life.

              Comment


              • #8
                I've suffered from depersonalization for almost 3 years now.

                Basically its the sense of not feeling in control of yourself or feeling like you're watching yourself doing things vs actually doing them. Well, that's the best way to describe it at least. It doesn't make me dysfunctional, it just makes me feel like I'm dreaming all of the time. After the first 3 or 4 months I got used to it. Those first months are a horrid experience.

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                • #9
                  Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories in this thread. I used to try to deny that whatever is wrong with me was an actual illness (I'd been told most of my life to "suck it up" or "snap out of it"), but I've come to grips with it now, and it's time to start making positive changes.

                  Originally posted by DeathbyIggy View Post
                  Stewie, i don't know you much bro, but hearing about your condition makes me feel closer to you than most any other member here at Bloody-Disgusting. I offer my unconditional friendship to you, and overall, just someone you can chat with when you're feeling down in the dumps. You're not alone, and you certainly don't have to feel that way. Please try not to hurt yourself.... others care about you and if you feel like no one understands, you're wrong... i for one understand and am here to lend an ear, whenever need be.
                  Thanks, man. I appreciate the sentiment.

                  Originally posted by Willowfang View Post
                  Never been a cutter or anything myself, but when I am in (physical) pain, I can often pretty much ignore the painfulness part of it an and instead sort of enjoy it. I wouldn't say I'm a masochist exactly, but even as it debilitates me cause it is hard to motivate myself to do anything when in pain, as I'm sure is true for most people, I'm able to instead be entertained by it in a way.
                  I wouldn't call myself a masochist either... not a full-blown masochist anyway. Although, I do enjoy pain when I inflict it upon myself. I think that some of that comes from the control I have in those situations. It's been a couple weeks since I've cut myself, but I still have the urge. But you're right. Something about physical pain distracts from any mental stress someone might be going through.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by DeathbyIggy View Post
                    Abilify was some scary shit for me. It was prescribed for me once and while i was taking it, i wasn't eating much, i was overly paranoid (more than usual), very aggresive with others and near the end of taking it, i started to hear voices. Abilify is supposed to help you NOT hear voices, but with me it just did the complete opposite. My therapist did the wrong thing by taking me off of it cold turkey, instead of doing it little by little.... that same night they took me off it, i put my head through a concrete wall. I'm glad i'm off of it...i've never been so mentally lost in my life.
                    Man That's really not any fun at all, I apologize. For me though, it really helps me out with my anxiety.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by SeanBrown View Post
                      Man That's really not any fun at all, I apologize. For me though, it really helps me out with my anxiety.
                      I'm sure it helps people, but like with any drug... if prescribed to the wrong person, the effects can be catastrophic.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        A favorite song at any time, but so often when I'm blue and looking at the night sky like I was a few minutes ago

                        Benson Arizona by John Carpenter from his movie Dark Star

                        A million suns shine down
                        But I see only one
                        When I think I'm over you
                        I find I've just begun
                        The years move faster than the days
                        There's no warmth in the light
                        How I miss those desert skies
                        Your cool touch in the night

                        CHORUS:
                        Benson, Arizona, blew warm wind through your hair
                        My body flies the galaxy, my heart longs to be there
                        Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky
                        But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them, you and I

                        Now the years pull us apart
                        I'm young and now you're old
                        But you're still in my heart
                        And the memory won't grow cold
                        I dream of times and spaces
                        I left far behind
                        Where we spent our last few days
                        Benson's on my mind

                        (CHORUS)

                        I've never found a great audio copy, not sure if it was ever really recorded, but there's still so much depth and feeling to most versions I've heard.

                        [YOUTUBE]W2F0dHVZAm8[/YOUTUBE]

                        Great movie too, but you can't just sit back and enjoy it, you got to turn your mind up to about 11 out of 10 and absorb it it.
                        I met her, fifteen years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding; and not even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this cow, with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach her, and then another seven trying to keep her locked up because I realized that what was living behind that cow's eyes was purely and simply... evil.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Hannibal Rex View Post
                          Mental illness has a stigma about it that prevents people from being open about their feelings, thoughts, and actions. People are afraid that others will view them as "crazy" or cast them out if they're honest about things of this nature.

                          I wanted to make a thread for people to discuss these things in a non-judgmental environment where they can "let it all hang out" without the fear of being made to feel like they're wrong for feeling the things they feel.

                          Believe it or not, a lot more people than you might think have mental issues/problems.

                          As for me...
                          Ever since I was young, I've felt detached from other people with a general sense of loathing for all people (including myself). Over the years, I've become quite good at assimilating (fitting in) but disguising an issue doesn't resolve it. I have problems controlling anger, depression, and self-harming impulses (cutting, burning, etc). I've been going to therapy for a few months now. It's something I probably should have been doing for a lot longer. It hasn't fixed me yet, but it's made me become more aware of my issues and given me ideas for how to deal with them.

                          Please, don't be afraid to be honest here...
                          I was destined to have a mental illness or a few before I was even born practically every female in my family has a mental illness. Although I didnt start to receive any type of treatment until I gave birth to my daughter. Although I should of received something much sooner.

                          I have regular depression/panic attacks and something called rage attacks. With my panic attacks I get dizzy, my heart pounds, I cannot breathe, I feel sick to my stomach I literally feel like Im going to die. And nothing triggers it I could be fine one minute and the next my heart is racing and Im gasping for breath.

                          With the rage attacks, they are strange I can be fine one minute (again) and the next something so minute can happen and I am so unbelievably mad I feel like I could come out of my skin. There is no middle ground for me with that so it's not like I can go to myself "Im getting a little mad I need to step out of the room" Im 0-60 in no time.

                          But for the most part except the panic attacks are controlled well with drugs and I dont find it a weakness if you have to take them either. Sometimes there is no other way to help the problem(s).
                          "I will do what Queens do. I will rule."

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by DeathbyIggy View Post
                            I'm sure it helps people, but like with any drug... if prescribed to the wrong person, the effects can be catastrophic.
                            Thats the chance you take with any drug, what works for one will not work for another. And people have to be aware of that.
                            "I will do what Queens do. I will rule."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              There have been plenty of times in my life where I have felt like i must have some sort of undiagnosed mental illness. At this point, I think I've narrowed it down to an emotional disorder. I don't think I experience emotion in the same way most people do. Situations that should give me intense emotions give me none. Things that shouldn't be a big deal weigh heavy on me. I can be all over the place in that sense. I never feel too crazy and I can handle it ok, it is just hard for me to relate to situations sometimes because of it.

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