CountOrlok

You better not of put those tags up about me.

I am butt hurt over the draft shananigans because I do not like anal sex.

Look out behind you, a dunny spider is about to bite your arse to death you ancestral son of a son of a son of an English rapist!

Oops! I just tend to assume that everone on here is a yank because 99 times out of a hundred it's true! Even so, Canuck seal clubbers, Aussie Brush Apes and fat Yank donut scoffers are all the same! None of you are English so I'll just ridicule you all for winnets and chuckles!

By the way - you should defo watch the second arf of Nattevagten, it ratchets up the dread level like you wouldn't flaming well believe you filthy foreigner you!

Why? Did you speak hergledy gerdy and turn a key in some weird drum lock mechanism necklace as you walked around the lowest security morgue of all time as your best mate urged you to do increasingly sadistic dares in Danish?

If so, can you get me a nightwatchman patrol job in America please?

Oh go on, I said please...

I'l be your bezzy mate for eva & eva...

I'm getting one of King-Ov-Hell's films now called 'We're Going To Eat You', it's billed as the Jap' equivalent of Cannibal Holocaust so I can't wait!!!

I'm off to drink now. BYE!

Nah, Amanda Donohoe was a right dog in that film with her sub-normal thighs accentuated by those revolting stockings. I'd rather fuck a waffle iron than that mingin' bitch.

I'd rather shag Skylard from Breaking Bad.

The blonde sister... now that's a different story, I'd gladly crawl a thousand miles over dog eggs and broken glass to strum that little fittie!

Just watched 'The Lair of the White Worm' last night!
I'm fucking speechless! I haven't seen that much phallic symbolism in a film since I accidentally watched a hardcore bum boy film called Das Butt!
Bloody hilarious stuff - my fave line - "open the front door and lock the chambermaids in!!!"
Fucking laugh riot and Hugh Grant was funny as fark!
I'll probs say plus two.

OY! You better shut it about HRH or I'll unlock your gate in the top paddock and you'll have kangaroos drinking all your billabong water you upside down heathen swine!!!
I'm not what you would call a monarchist or a royalist but I believe our Queen does a good job.
Anyway, I'm currently downloading 'Lair of the White Worm', I haven't seen it yet so I'll let you know me thoughts in a day or so.

Yeah, Chopper's bloody brilliant. Eric Bana was great in that one, shame he seems to have disappeared up his own arse since he became famous. Have you seen The Castle? I bloody well love that film.

Cheers mate!
Damn, so you're a skippy convict too? This place is crawling with you Antipodean bastards! I might have to phone pest control to lower your numbers
Yeah, Bad Boy Bubby is an amazing film, easily one of my all time faves. In fact I love loads of Oz films, Razorback, The Horseman, Razorback, The Castle, Razorback, Crocodile Dundee, Razorback, Storm Warning, Razorback, Bad Boy Bubby, Razorback, Chopper, Razorback, Wolf Creek, Razorback, Undead, Razorback, The Loved Ones and Razorback to name but a few.
By the way, did I ever tell you how much I love that 1984 film about a vicious giant killer pig set in the outback called Razorback? I reckon it paints a pretty accurate and honest portrayal of Australian people in general and isn't stereotypical in any way.