Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007) Reviews (Spoilers)

[Count Dragula]

A continuation of the original thread, now that the film's completed post your thoughts here.

For those who've already posted reviews, you can just quote and paste them here if you like.

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

Like the majority of Zombies features, Halloweens level of shittiness seems to be greatly exaggerated. Sure it's a piece of shit, but the hype behind its shittiness is a bit much. I attributable this to fanboy annoyance, and the joy of torture.

Most hardcore Zombie fans should adore the first half, it's essentially an extension of the same things he always does. Horror for white trash. A whirl pooling of filth, sleaze, jumbled juvenile dialog and extensive inbreeding.

The second half was really just an uninspired rehash of the original, nothing fresh or invigorating here. Unless you consider the exposing of Danielle Harris's breasts 5 years (and many facial wrinkles) too late to be so, which subsequently accounts for approximately 35% of her screen time.

Most Unbearable On Screen Moment: (spoilers)

Sheri Moon's sloppy pole dance intermittently intertwined to little Micheal Myers pouting on the front porch because his big sissy was busy getting plowed upstairs and wouldn't take him trick or treating. All to the tune of Nazareth's "Love Hurts" mind you.

[Dobe Dobe]

Wow. I was very wrong about this movie. It was not at all what I expected it to be...

...it was even worse. I'll black out the spoilers out of courtesy.

All the way to, "I'm gonna skull fuck the shit out of you" down to "Jesus Christ! Michael! Jesus!" and the ever dramatic, "Cool it! Hey, cool it!" this is probably the worst dialog Zombie has ever written. To think he actually sat down and wrote it is offensive to my sensibilities. It comes off as an unscripted chat between a gang of stoned retards.

Not one character got a single bit of development, not even little Mikey Myers. Well, that's not true, we got the chance to see about 3 minutes of the Myers character developing, in between his killings(which were a lot, even as a child). The girls were utterly annoying in every sense of the word. Not one of them was likable and even when I tried to cheer on their deaths, I was left empty and cold with a lack of commitment by the actors(if you even wanna call them that). Even when poor Mrs. Myers was weeping in her living room, watching old reels of the once happy family and then proceeds to eat a bullet, you don't feel sorry for her. In fact, them not showing her death by the ever stylish off-screen gunshot was a rip off for me. Dr. Samuel Loomis was a pain in the ass. Malcolm MacDowell's line delivery(to say he was acting is an insult to his credibility) was just laughable, and not in the good way. Michael Ironside would have been a better fit with these bunch of rejects(pun?). Oh, the patient rape scene was laughable. Yes, Zombie managed to turn a despicable act of violence into a joke.

As you watch the movie, there are about 15 murders, maybe more, I didn't count them. How little Mikey was able to duct tape his male guardian to the chair is beyond the realm of belief, especially considering he didn't wake up. Drunk or not, the fucker would've noticed something was going on. I did like when the T-100 was beating Grizzly up in the toilet stall though, it was premium violence that was satisfying, even if only for a few seconds.

Let's move onto the plot...I think there was one. Let's see; Boy kills family; Boy goes to psych hospital; Boy, who is now a man, breaks out; Man stalks Haddonfield; Man is gunned down after surrendering. Yep, gunned down, in the fashion of Halloween 4's ending, Mikey is pwn3d hXc by Police bullets. We then get the touching voice-over of Loomis and Myers' first interaction. Fade to black.


So, unless they redid the entire 105 minutes of runtime, I can't see this being any better in the theatrical version. Piece of shit. As bad as, if not worse than, Black X-Mas.

[ThreeOnAMeathook]

Is there anywhere to D/L the WP?

[Count Dragula]

Originally Posted by ThreeOnAMeathook

Is there anywhere to D/L the WP?

Possibly, but posting that here is against forum policy. Ask around via PM.

[Guywiththegun]

Do you have a rapidshare premium account?

Anyway . .

IGN's review is up. 0/10.

I start to feel bad for Rob, and then I remember the OHMB thread and shudder.

[Dobe Dobe]

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

Possibly, but posting that here is against forum policy. Ask around via PM.

I tried to warn him, Dawgula. He ain't too bright, ya know?


Do we get to discuss all aspects of the film, like in the other thread, or only review it?

[superfry]

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

Possibly, but posting that here is against forum policy. Ask around via PM.

Coolest. Mods. Ever.

[Count Dragula]

Originally Posted by Dobe Dobe

Do we get to discuss all aspects of the film, like in the other thread, or only review it?

Everything pertaining to the film, just try and keep it on topic.

[ThreeOnAMeathook]

Ahh...I wanted to download it today.

I was gonna get a membership to MegaVideo, download it and burn it to a DVD.

FuckShitBallsCake!

[mR_BuNgLe]

Originally Posted by Guywiththegun

Do you have a rapidshare premium account?

Anyway . .

IGN's reviews is up. 0/10.

I start to feel bad for Rob, and then I remember the OHMB thread and shudder.

OHMB thread?