Mental Illnesses/Issues

[Hannibal Rex]

I had a session this morning. It was a weird one. I had good things to report: not cutting in a few weeks, progress on quitting drinking, a pleasant holiday with my daughter, etc. However, I was visibly anxious and upset. My anxiety has been building for a few days and I've worked really hard not to use any of my harmful escapes. While discussing it, I felt like the room was spinning and I was watching it happen. I felt nervous and fidgetty but tried to stay as still as possible. He made a call to the medication specialist to have my appointment with her moved from mid-January to next week so that I could get started on medication sooner. We also discussed that I meet the criteria for having Borderline Personality Disorder (although not severe).

Originally Posted by DeathbyIggy

I'm sure it helps people, but like with any drug... if prescribed to the wrong person, the effects can be catastrophic.

Although I'm ready to give it a try, I'm a little worried about starting medication for that reason.

Originally Posted by The Dark Enchantress

I was destined to have a mental illness or a few before I was even born practically every female in my family has a mental illness. Although I didnt start to receive any type of treatment until I gave birth to my daughter. Although I should of received something much sooner.

I have regular depression/panic attacks and something called rage attacks. With my panic attacks I get dizzy, my heart pounds, I cannot breathe, I feel sick to my stomach I literally feel like Im going to die. And nothing triggers it I could be fine one minute and the next my heart is racing and Im gasping for breath.

With the rage attacks, they are strange I can be fine one minute (again) and the next something so minute can happen and I am so unbelievably mad I feel like I could come out of my skin. There is no middle ground for me with that so it's not like I can go to myself "Im getting a little mad I need to step out of the room" Im 0-60 in no time.

But for the most part except the panic attacks are controlled well with drugs and I dont find it a weakness if you have to take them either. Sometimes there is no other way to help the problem(s).

I have a tendency to blow up too. Sometimes, I can catch it before it happens and remove myself from the situation but sometimes I can't. It's always a roll of the dice.

Originally Posted by Shoggoth

There have been plenty of times in my life where I have felt like i must have some sort of undiagnosed mental illness. At this point, I think I've narrowed it down to an emotional disorder. I don't think I experience emotion in the same way most people do. Situations that should give me intense emotions give me none. Things that shouldn't be a big deal weigh heavy on me. I can be all over the place in that sense. I never feel too crazy and I can handle it ok, it is just hard for me to relate to situations sometimes because of it.

I feel the same way sometimes. It's interesting how that emotional level can flip-flop between what should be worth getting upset over versus what isn't.

It makes me feel like this:

Originally Posted by H.P. Pufncraft

While I've never been officially diagnosed, I suspect that I might suffer from Aspergers syndome or at least something similar. It would definitely explain my social awkwardness, which seems to get worse as time passes. Sometimes I feel so withdrawn from the rest of the world and that I don't know how to function as a "normal" human being (whatever that means).

I hate the idea of "normal." I mean, what's really normal? Everybody's weird.

[Outpost #31]

Stewie - Sounds like you are doing well with therapy and keep up the good work! Be very proud of yourself and your accomplishments!

I'm sadly a person who has dealt with pretty lousy anxiety/depression/social panic since I was around 6. No strong father figure in my life as he was a truck driver and never home, parents were both alcoholics, parents never supported any activities I participated in high school, never taught me how to stand up for myself, and dealt with some physical/emotional abuse. Yep, it's created some issues I battle here and there.

At one time I'd be embarrassed to talk about being on meds but shit everybody seems to need meds now-a-days so we are not alone. Tricky thing with meds is sometimes they work wonders but other times they can cause more issues or new problems. I think therapy is awesome although I have a tendency to not want to make time out to go. Luckily I've learned better coping mechanisms and have learned to be more outspoken instead of keeping things bottled down inside.

Most people don't think I have issues as I come off as pretty happy go lucky with the flow type of guy. Guess I'm really good at masking my pain as I don't want others to worry. I'm lucky in that I don't lash out violently but I'll beat myself up inside really badly over things. Seem to not have an addictive personality thankfully as I see friends struggle with that issue and have lots of empathy for them.

I've been thinking and talking so positive about how 2013 is going to be and although it's early, it is starting out pretty rough. Had a big blow out at work as I was told they were relocating me to a different house as the staff there "couldn't get along with that client." With my dad battling terminal cancer I told them it is not a good time for change (learning about the new client, new staff, new program dir.). I was basically told it didn't matter as it was going to happen. Got a bit heated and asked if the 3 years of work I have provided them meant anything and got the response, "Nope." I was basically told my three years there meant nothing (really good feeling there as I'm a solid worker and have put up with tons of stupid crap over the years from management). The asshole smirked while I talked about my dad's cancer and it took all my might not to flip the table on him and pound the shit out of him (yes I said I'm normally not violent but that did make me think about it). I then asked if I could have three days to think about things and was told, "No," Threatened to quit and was told, "Fine." At that point I told them to do whatever they want as I don't care and apparently I don't mean anything to the company." Horrible shit.

I've learned with standing up for yourself that sometimes you have to play dirty though. I know things that could shut the company down and at this point I'm not really afraid to do a few things if things don't turn around. We've contacted three groups that were suppose to be there to protect clients and all three ignored things. State came in and gave the staff shit instead of looking at the dire place they had us living in (place should have been condemned). These people are monsters and treat both the clients and staff like complete shit. I'm going through the gauntlet of emotions right now: Anger, sadness, hurt, frustrated, deflated. Think some of my words may have wisened them up though as I was called by my program specialist to say that they probably aren't going to do it (after being told earlier it couldn't be changed......fucking always lying). They don't want to fuck with me any more as I'm over it and not afraid to utilize tons of evidence I've collected in the last three years.

Sorry.....just had to rant about today. Angry and sad about it. Going to see what transpires tomorrow and go from there.

[Hannibal Rex]

Originally Posted by Outpost #31

Stewie - Sounds like you are doing well with therapy and keep up the good work! Be very proud of yourself and your accomplishments!

I'm sadly a person who has dealt with pretty lousy anxiety/depression/social panic since I was around 6. No strong father figure in my life as he was a truck driver and never home, parents were both alcoholics, parents never supported any activities I participated in high school, never taught me how to stand up for myself, and dealt with some physical/emotional abuse. Yep, it's created some issues I battle here and there.

At one time I'd be embarrassed to talk about being on meds but shit everybody seems to need meds now-a-days so we are not alone. Tricky thing with meds is sometimes they work wonders but other times they can cause more issues or new problems. I think therapy is awesome although I have a tendency to not want to make time out to go. Luckily I've learned better coping mechanisms and have learned to be more outspoken instead of keeping things bottled down inside.

Most people don't think I have issues as I come off as pretty happy go lucky with the flow type of guy. Guess I'm really good at masking my pain as I don't want others to worry. I'm lucky in that I don't lash out violently but I'll beat myself up inside really badly over things. Seem to not have an addictive personality thankfully as I see friends struggle with that issue and have lots of empathy for them.

I've been thinking and talking so positive about how 2013 is going to be and although it's early, it is starting out pretty rough. Had a big blow out at work as I was told they were relocating me to a different house as the staff there "couldn't get along with that client." With my dad battling terminal cancer I told them it is not a good time for change (learning about the new client, new staff, new program dir.). I was basically told it didn't matter as it was going to happen. Got a bit heated and asked if the 3 years of work I have provided them meant anything and got the response, "Nope." I was basically told my three years there meant nothing (really good feeling there as I'm a solid worker and have put up with tons of stupid crap over the years from management). The asshole smirked while I talked about my dad's cancer and it took all my might not to flip the table on him and pound the shit out of him (yes I said I'm normally not violent but that did make me think about it). I then asked if I could have three days to think about things and was told, "No," Threatened to quit and was told, "Fine." At that point I told them to do whatever they want as I don't care and apparently I don't mean anything to the company." Horrible shit.

I've learned with standing up for yourself that sometimes you have to play dirty though. I know things that could shut the company down and at this point I'm not really afraid to do a few things if things don't turn around. We've contacted three groups that were suppose to be there to protect clients and all three ignored things. State came in and gave the staff shit instead of looking at the dire place they had us living in (place should have been condemned). These people are monsters and treat both the clients and staff like complete shit. I'm going through the gauntlet of emotions right now: Anger, sadness, hurt, frustrated, deflated. Think some of my words may have wisened them up though as I was called by my program specialist to say that they probably aren't going to do it (after being told earlier it couldn't be changed......fucking always lying). They don't want to fuck with me any more as I'm over it and not afraid to utilize tons of evidence I've collected in the last three years.

Sorry.....just had to rant about today. Angry and sad about it. Going to see what transpires tomorrow and go from there.

Thanks a lot for the encouragement.

Good luck with all that stuff, man. That's some heavy shit.

[Rusted]

Originally Posted by H.P. Pufncraft

While I've never been officially diagnosed, I suspect that I might suffer from Aspergers syndome or at least something similar. It would definitely explain my social awkwardness, which seems to get worse as time passes. Sometimes I feel so withdrawn from the rest of the world and that I don't know how to function as a "normal" human being (whatever that means).

I think I might have Aspergers or some form of it.

I wouldn't classify myself as socially awkward but I always feel so removed and different from others, especially in social situations and when I'm around groups of people.

[Santa]

Originally Posted by Rusted

I wouldn't classify myself as socially awkward but I always feel so removed and different from others, especially in social situations and when I'm around groups of people.

Might only be just the need to be left alone. Nothing wrong about that.

[Yggdrasil]

While I haven't been diagnosed, I think that I might have some sort of OCD. I've suffered from anxiety attacks several times in the last couple of years, and I often find myself repeating actions over and over again a couple of times just to be absolutely sure of something. I also tend to obsess over unpleasant thoughts from a time to another. Like I said, this is only what I think. I may be completely wrong, since it isn't really that serious in this case.

But something I'm absolutely sure about, is that I've got a way too short fuse.

[Rusted]

Originally Posted by Santa Sangre

Might only be just the need to be left alone. Nothing wrong about that.

Probably.

I live by myself and I love it. I'm not one of those types who has to be around people 24/7.

I do loads of things on my own and I'm just as happy if I'm doing things with friends. I enjoy my own company.

[The Revelator]

All of you are far more sane than most people I know outside of my Internet life.a

[Jinx]

Ive had anxiety & depression all my life. Depression not really noticeable up until November when i woke up one morning and felt horrible for a little over a month. I lost interest in certain things like hanging with friends.. if someone called i felt like i was forcing my self to answer the phone.. whenever they wanted to hang out or something i was making up excuses which only made it worse. I been taking citalopram for about a month now and its really doing the job.. there's no side affects (which i was worried about) ive been sober from alcohol since november which is helping alot.

glad to hear that some of you are doing good. This day and age there is nothing wrong with taking a pill to make you feel normal. Just be lucky we live in a time where its available to us.

[Hannibal Rex]

Originally Posted by Yggdrasil

While I haven't been diagnosed, I think that I might have some sort of OCD. I've suffered from anxiety attacks several times in the last couple of years, and I often find myself repeating actions over and over again a couple of times just to be absolutely sure of something. I also tend to obsess over unpleasant thoughts from a time to another. Like I said, this is only what I think. I may be completely wrong, since it isn't really that serious in this case.

But something I'm absolutely sure about, is that I've got a way too short fuse.

I think most people have weird OCD traits, just in different forms and severities. For me, odd numbers are to be avoided if possible; the only odd numbers that I like are multiples of 5. If I'm listening to music or something, the volume has to be set on an even number or a multiple of 5. Otherwise, I have to change it before I do anything else. Then again, I'm told a lot of people are like that.

Originally Posted by Gutter

Ive had anxiety & depression all my life. Depression not really noticeable up until November when i woke up one morning and felt horrible for a little over a month. I lost interest in certain things like hanging with friends.. if someone called i felt like i was forcing my self to answer the phone.. whenever they wanted to hang out or something i was making up excuses which only made it worse. I been taking citalopram for about a month now and its really doing the job.. there's no side affects (which i was worried about) ive been sober from alcohol since november which is helping alot.

glad to hear that some of you are doing good. This day and age there is nothing wrong with taking a pill to make you feel normal. Just be lucky we live in a time where its available to us.

Most people who have suffered from depression can relate. I'm just starting to work myself out of a funk I was in. For months, I (like you) didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I didn't leave my house unless it was absolutely necessary. Eventually, I started forcing myself to make plans with friends so that I had to get out and do things.