Take THAT! Now, for a relaxing night at the theater….

“Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” can KISS MY ASS!

I can totally do this. Toss up another M&M.

WOW! That IS my card!

Hey, I’m certain I scored this one at 2/5, but the review posted as 3/5. That score does not accurately reflect my opinion.

Some critics dismissed this one early, saying, “Oh great, another possessed little girl.” I remained optimistic, knowing that there’s a reason horror films tend to lean on the “possessed kid” trope: it’s scary. […]

Hated the ending to “Penny Dreadful”, one of the movies at the first After Dark Horrorfest back in 2006. Like I said back then, “The movie didn’t end, it just stopped.”

Okay, so you didn’t like “Shelley the Airhead”. My next buddy is a Woozle, and his name’s Peanut!

SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Man, cops hypnotize so easy….

Just watch my feet. It’s step, cane, step step cane, BANG.

Hold it right there, pal. I’m gonna give you a lap dance you’ll never forget.

That guy stole my lunchbox in 1938! Oh man, this is gonna be sweet….

Oh man, I am so sorry. Your shoelace totally looked like a spider.

No no, it’s totally cool. I saw this on America’s Got Talent.

Dude, hold still. There’s a bee on you.

Last Halloween, “Dancing Broccoli”. This Halloween, “Yodeling Tomato”.

Oh, grow up. I told you my ass was in Matchstick Men.

“Keep smiling…” “But he doesn’t have any pants on.” “I KNOW, just keep smiling….”

“The Jar”, one of my favorite short stories of all time.