“Hey Louise, better slow down, I’ll just die if we get caught over a speeding ticket. Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?”

“Let’s put it this way: I fought for the South. Not bad for a vampire, huh?”

“…it’ll be dark soon, and we mostly come at night… mostly.”

*Sniff* *Sniff* I smell smoke. Do you smell smoke?

“My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait ’till mom finds out, buddy!”

I…hate…KARO SYRUP!!!!

Sadly, the vampire repellant spray didn’t exactly work out the way she hoped.

Coming to your local Bed, Bath, and Beyond this fall: ‘Lady Báthory’ bath tubs and jacuzzis. For a clean so refreshing and rejuvenating, you’ll have the energy of a dozen virgin girls.

Coming to your local Bed, Bath, and Beyond this fall: ‘Lady Báthory’ bath tubs and jacuzzis. For a clean so refreshing and rejuvenating, you’ll have the energy a dozen virgin girls.

That must be a pretty massive head wound there, Harry.

This… is…MENSTRUAL!!!

Don’t worry ma’am. I’m leaving Texas for the nice suburbs of Cuesta Verde. Yep, got me a nice contracting job putting a pool in for this family. Nice young couple with a few kids.

Hey mister! Did you see the size of that chicken?

Wally: Hey Bill, just to be sure. We’re shooting at all those slug looking things and not Starla, right?

Bill Pardy: Really? Like you have to ask?

Wally: Whew (chuckling)!! Boy, am I glad I asked!

Don Thompson: Hey Nathan, how did Elizabeth take the news that she’s contractually bound to make “Meet Dave 2″ and it’s been greenlit?

Nathan: I….I’m not so sure she’s happy. You tell me.

Bill Pardy: Uh…Starla, honey? When I said “Let’s blow this ugly alien sonofabitch away”, that’s not exactly what I had in mind.

Bill Pardy: If things go well I might be showing Starla my O-face. “Oh… Oh… Oh!” Yeah, she knows what I’m talkin’ about.

If things go well with Starla I might be showing her my O-face. “Oh… Oh… Oh!” You know what I’m talkin’ about. “Oh!” Yeah, she gets it.