Hey baby…don’t be mad. We really didn’t do nothin’, I swear!…it was just part of the script.

Someone say dessert?!

Bruce Campbell, you have the right to go and purchase me a box of assorted doughnuts, and here’s the address to doughnut king.

Officer, I should be the one to give you my autograph, instead?

I’m you number one fan, Bruce! Here’s my address..come by my house tonight and I’ll show you my stuff.

Tethered pencil eh? ..the crime rate must be up in your town, huh, Officer?

You’re in the wrong hole! ..pull out, hurry! I’ve got to go crap!!

I know my limited edition, The Walking Dead Season 2 zombie head is in here somewhere!

GAWD!! It must be your time of the month!

Aaahhh…what’s that smell?! I think you need to freshen up!

C’mon dude! Quit being a cry baby, and assume the position already!

You should be thankful that I even want you inside me! ..I told you that I wasn’t easy.

I’ve been told that I’m a monster in bed.

That’s okay..look away. But just remember that I’m still beautiful on the inside.

Pamela Anderson: This happened to me when my breast implants started leaking.

This happened to me when my breast implants started leaking.

Give me a little piece of your heart now baby! Ugly women turn me on!

So this is where you keep your condoms?

You’ve found your way to my heart, and I love you…kiss me now!

I have never met a guy who touches my heart the way you do.