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Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead! Uwe Boll Announces Retirement From Filmmaking!

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Uwe Boll as Adolf Hitler in 'Blubberella'

When it comes to video game-to-film adaptations, there is probably no one more reviled than Uwe Boll, the man who brought us Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead, BloodRayne, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, and Postal, as well as other original movies. Each of these films could conceivably become an ouroboros of “this one is worse than the others”, with no film able to distinguish itself as being particularly interesting or watchable. Honestly, it became somewhat of a joke whenever he got funding for a new film as none of his releases were profitable. Yes, House of the Dead earned more than its budget but we have to remember that theaters take a cut, marketing costs aren’t applied to budgets, and other factors come into play. Basically, he’s a colossal failure and the only thing he was good at was literally fighting critics in a boxing ring.

It seems that his constant string of failures have finally wore him down as Boll has told Metro that he will be retiring from filmmaking after the release of his upcoming film Rampage: President Down, the third film in the series he began back in 2009. He tells the site, “‘Rampage 3’ will be watched on Netflix, DVD or iTunes or whatever. They’ll say, ‘That wonderful movie! I liked it blah, blah, blah,’ then watch Avengers. With streaming everywhere there is just a big wave of movies flooding around and you have no impact.

What it ultimately boils down to, Boll says, is that there is no money to be made doing this kind of work anymore:

The market is dead. you don’t make any money anymore on movies because the DVD and Blu Ray market worldwide has dropped 80 per cent in the last three years. That is the real reason; I just cannot afford to make movies. I can’t go back to student filmmaking because I have made so many movies in my life, and I can’t make cheaper and cheaper movies at my age. It’s a shame. I would be happy to make movies but it is just not financially profitable.

Boll hopes that his retirement will force critics to revisit his films with fresh eyes as he seems to still be very proud of his output. “Now when I don’t make any more movies maybe they’ll find the time to actually watch the movies, starting with Postal in 2005, the movies of the last ten years. They will see they were a lot of very interesting movies and a lot of movies that I think made sense and said a point about things. They deserve to be discussed bigger than they were,” he laments.

Still, he maintains a rather pompous attitude regarding his movies, going so far as to say that 2013’s Assault on Wall Street was a better film than Oliver Stone’s Wall Street 2.

It’s way better than Wall Street 2 by Oliver Stone. It’s better researched, it’s better written, it’s better, but it doesn’t have Michael Douglas. It’s not Jason Bourne or any bullshit movie where they make stuff up. My movies are real.

Sure Uwe, you keep telling yourself that.

Managing editor/music guy/social media fella of Bloody-Disgusting

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‘Ready or Not’: Radio Silence Filmmakers Tease the “Absolute Banger” of a Sequel That’s Taking Shape

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It was first reported a couple weeks ago that Ready or Not 2 is now in development, with Adam Robitel (The Taking of Deborah Logan, Insidious: The Last Key, Escape Room, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions) in talks to direct the sequel to the 2019 box office hit. Additionally, we had learned that Samara Weaving would be returning to star.

Entertainment Weekly caught up with Ready or Not directors Tyler Gillett and Matt Bettinelli-Olpin in the wake of those reports, and we’ve now got an update straight from the source.

“It’s getting figured out. That’s what we’ll say: Ready or Not 2 is getting figured out,” Gillett tells EW, confirming last month’s report. “What we can say is that there is a script that is an absolute fucking banger of a sequel. And however it gets made, and in whatever capacity we are helping get it made, we are so excited that it’s happening.”

“I don’t think we knew after making [Ready or Not] that there would be so much story left to tell,” Gillett continues. “We’re so proud of what that first movie is, we’re so proud of what the sequel is. We’re just really excited, and fingers crossed that it gets made.” Bettinelli-Olpin adds, “And with Searchlight and Samara, they’re not gonna let it down.”

The first film introduced a mythology wherein the wealthy Le Domas family has made a deal with the devil, one that requires them to take part in bizarre – and deadly – wedding night traditions. There’s much that can be done with the premise going forward, even if the first movie ended with Weaving’s Grace massacring the family and burning down their estate.

Wikipedia reminds, “The sole survivor of the night, Grace walks out of the burning manor just as the police arrive. Upon asking her what happened, she simply replies: in-laws.”

Samara Weaving

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