B-D Picks the Top 10 Horror Remakes of All-Time!

Not every remake sucks, believe it or not, and to prove it we’ve compiled a list of our Top 10 Horror Remakes of All-Time. With Lionsgate’s The Eye having just hit theaters, and 20th Century Fox’s Shutter arriving in a few weeks, we thought this would be the perfect time to unveil our list. And if you think this list was easy to compile, you’re wrong. Watch for our Top 10 (maybe more) Worst Remakes in the near future.

The Top 10 Best Horror Remakes of All-Time

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This was the hardest list to compile, specifically because I don’t even like all ten of the films listed below… in my opinion there aren’t even ten spectacular remakes. So what you’ll find below is a list of the ten best remakes, which doesn’t necessarily mean GOOD. Just wait until you see my list of worst remakes, that was much easier to compile. Now I present to you the Top 10 Horror Remakes of All-Time…

10. House of Wax (2005)

Dark Castle was building a track record for making terrible films, and everyone assumed WAX would be the next in a long line – we were all wrong. The movie was extremely violent, the set designs were astounding and we got to watch Paris Hilton die. Sure it wasn’t the greatest film, and the beginning is pretty damn boring, but overall it was an enjoyable experience. And talk about a mean-spirited film… violence for the sake of violence without any reason – ouch!

9. Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Alex Aja did a nearly shot-for-shot remake that’s loaded with mutant rape, insane amounts of gore and violence beyond comprehension. It’s a shock this film made it to theaters with the MPAA stronger than ever. It’s easily an NC-17 film that someone made it to theaters. Gorehounds drooled blood.

Platinum Dunes’ remake of the Lutz’s terrible (supposed) tragedy was plenty creepy and carried a twist that either made or broke the film for you. Ryan Reynolds was fabulous in the film and Melissa George kick-started her horror run with this ghostly tale. This is one remake that, when revisited, is better than you remember.

7. King Kong (2005)

I personally loved Peter Jackson’s vision on first viewing, and really got into the emotion of Kong as a character – even with all of that CG I could feel his pain. But seriously, a giant monkey and a hot blonde chick? Overall, the movie was a holiday blast, even though it’s running time was WAY too long and the dinosaur stampede sequence is laughably bad. Replay value is also null, but this still earns a spot on the best remakes list.

Even though this remake of the legendary Tobe Hooper film from the ’70s doesn’t stand the test of time (it’s pretty boring now), when I originally saw it, the film blew my mind and punched me in my gut. I thought it was consistantly disturbing, uncomfortable and disgusting – it was as gritty as you can get before going over the edge. If only more films were this intense on first viewing we’d live in a better world. I had to take a shower to scrub off the dirty feeling it left me with (oh how I miss that feeling).

When DAWN was heading to theaters I remember the backlash. Horror fans didn’t want it… and neither did I. In fact, horror writers like Ryan Rotten bashed the script to a bloody pulp before it even was made. But what came of Universal’s remake was the release of confidence and acceptance from genre fans – proving without a shadow of a doubt that a film CAN be remade and be good. Instead of trying to “be” George A. Romero’s original, James Gunn strived for a different take that left nothing to be compared. And the film has a zombie baby… nuff said. Thank you Zack Snyder!

4. The Blob (1988)

Kevin Dillon at his best ever. This is a slime-filled delight filled with all sorts of crazy ’80s fun that will entertain you from start to finish. Purple goo has never been so much fun. This is the ’80s that we all know and love, THE BLOB has infinite replay value.

3. The Fly (1986)

Definitely one of the best remakes of all-time is David Cronenberg’s THE FLY. Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis are incredible in their roles; Goldblum has never been cast so perfectly. His erratic movements and talking patterns help bring life to one of the most gruesome and terrifying creature-features of all-time. To this day the film still makes me sick to my stomach and carries one of the darkest tones ever to grace the big screen. This is more than a film, it’s an experience. “There was an old lady who swallowed a fly, perhaps she’ll die.“- Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum)

2. The Ring (2001)

THE RING kick-started the Japanese remake craze by bringing US audiences one of the most unsettling and scary films in decades. Personally I place this film in my list of scariest films ever made. I knew that DreamWorks was confident in the film when they showed it in theaters an entire week before it’s official release date as a “sneak preview.” Directed by the now legendary Gore Verbinski (enough Pirates, come back to horror!), THE RING carries a non-stop unsettling blue tone and unique style that keeps your stomach in shambles. I can easily say this film is a masterpiece. Too bad the sequel landed in our worst list (coming soon).

… and now the best remake of all-time goes too…

1. The Thing (1982)

If there’s one remake that stands next to THE FLY it would be John Carpenter’s remake of THE THING. Spoofed in a gazillion cartoons and TV shows, referenced in thousands of movies, and already rumored to be the next re-remake, this sci-fi horror film is chilling to the core. Alien monster dogs, H.P. Lovecraft creatures, John Carpenter AND Kurt Russell… do I smell heaven?