Have you ever locked eyes with a child and instantly decided that kid is the Devil’s spawn? The kid stares back at you with its wee beady eyes, soulless and black, as if it’s peering deep into your soul? I’m sure I’m not the only one that looks at stranger’s offspring this way, but I’ll admit my opinion on the mini-people is a little skewed.
But whether you like children or not, kids in video games are usually a twisted bunch. Can you name a single normal child in a game? I can’t. They all seem to have ulterior motives, they may act happy and innocent but they’re really just making sure you let your guard down so they can quickly strike you down and consume your soul. So yeah, here are some kids in video games that freak me the fuck out. Enjoy.
Something is wrong with this little boy. In Homecoming you play as Alex Shepard, who’s just returned from war to discover something’s gone horribly wrong and now your little brother Josh is gone forcing you to travel to Silent Hill to find him. Throughout the game you’re trying your damnedest to help that little bastard only to have him ignore you, run away, or stare at you with a blank expression as you fall down a hole. By the end of the game I found myself hoping a creature would tear that kid apart so I could do something else. Sadly, my wishes never came true. Damn you Gaming Gods.
Now it’s not the girls’ faults they were turned into massive needle wielding midgets of death that enjoy stabbing corpses repeatedly while blabbering on about angels and Mr. Bubbles. They didn’t choose to be creepy little demon kids, but that disn’t stop me from killing every last one of them my first time playing through BioShock. When I play a game that lets me choose between right and wrong I usually choose the former, but since I felt these creatures needed to be slain I chose to rip the slug out of their squirming bodies instead. It had to be done, otherwise there’s a very good chance the Little Sisters would’ve soon revolted, and then no one would be safe. No need to thank me.
This demonic aborted baby fetus proved capable of taking out a fully armored and well-armed Isaac Clarke multiple times. Granted, I was controlling Mr. Clarke, but I can’t be the only person that had trouble disposing of these annoying creatures. What made up for the frustration these things caused me was the fact that I could punt their chubby little asses across the room. And as if the Lurkers weren’t enough, Dead Space 2 has a new Necromorph called The Pack: pale kids with a bad attitude who have disturbingly long claw-like fingers and enjoy attacking in packs (hence the name). Apparently the designers share my issue with children.
Dead Space isn’t the only series with child issues since Silent Hill makes the list yet again for its incredibly creepy Grey Children. The original game introduced to us these colorless bundles of knife-wielding joy and they even made their debut in the 2006 film adaption though they were changed a bit to look like they were burned and their knives were replaced with… long fingers.
Those are the kids that freak me out the most. I’m sure I missed something you feel should make the list but since this isn’t a definitive list of the creepiest kids in video games I think I’m alright with that. So why don’t you let me know what kids freaked you out the most?