TJ and I have had a top secret project in the works for some time and despite our shared inability to keep a secret for very long, we’ve somehow managed to keep this from you until it was ready. After years of research and sleepless nights fueled by bitter masturbation and energy drinks, this secret is finally ready to be unveiled now. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to the video game that’s destined to sweep the nation: Dead Pixels: The Official Game.
What is this, you ask? How could you possibly compete with blockbuster games that have massive budgets and huge teams of creative individuals working on them? Easy peasy lemon squeezy. You see, between the two of us TJ and I have a combined total of nearly a decade’s worth of video game reviews, and who better to create a fun game than the people that know what makes a game good? Nay, great. Will this be as memorable as BioShock? Yes. Will rake in more money than Call of Duty? Of course. Will it get us laid? We desperately hope it will. Head past the break for your first glimpse of Dead Pixels: The Official Game’s box art, just make sure you keep a tissue handy for when you experience your first exploding orgasm upon glimpsing this beautiful piece of art.
TJ: As you might have guessed this will be a Playstation Network and Xbox Live Arcade title. Adam with his beer bottle rocket launcher and me with my double sided dildo saber (among many more insane and totally brutal weapons) will take on horde after horde of the worst looking monsters you’ve ever seen. Worse than even the ugliest beer goggled girl you ever slept with. If you have ever been caught crying and masturbating in the shower, this is the game for you. Look out for it this fall, $9.99 on the PSN, or 800 Microsoft Record Breaker Bucks.
**Video game art by GeneTraitor**