TEX SAYS: Well gore crew…after a month and a half of slim pickings it appears that everyone decided February 23rd was the day they were gonna dump all their crap onto DVD. Maybe they were all celebrating Spay Day USA (look it up) or National “Curling is Cool Day” (Seriously…it’s February 23rd). Whatever the reason, it’s reason enough for you to take out a loan or start selling off your excess body parts so you can drop a C-note picking up all the spoils coming out this Tuesday. With Ichi the Killer, The Crazies, The Box (Hey…Mr. Disgusting liked it…I still haven’t seen it), the teen vampire-lite flick Cirque du Freak, the ditsy remake of Sorority Row and even Troma’s eggcellent Poultrygeist coming out on Blu-ray (surly a sign of the apocalypse) I don’t even know what to choose as my pick of the week! But…I’ll tell you what. In celebration of Iwo Jima Day (also February 23rd…can you believe the luck) we’ll keep the memory of World War II alive which my choice of the Nazi Zombie Comedy Dead Snow!
Horror in Your House
February 23, 2010

THE BOX (DVD & Blu-ray): Warner

Push a red button on a little black box, get a million bucks cash. Just like that, all of Norma and Arthur Lewis’s financial problems will be over. But there’s a catch, according to the strange visitor who placed the box on the couple’s doorstep. Someone, somewhere – someone they don’t know – will die.

THE CARETAKER: MTI

A group of teenage boys out to give their girlfriends a good scare on Homecoming night, which also happens to be Halloween, head to an abandoned house in an out-of-the-way fruit orchard where they uncover the story of a real life urban legend.

CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT (DVD & Blu-ray): Universal

Welcome to the Cirque Du Freak, a traveling sideshow filled with magical creatures, misunderstood freaks, and the mysterious vampire, Larten Crepsley. Drawn to the dark, unpredictable world of the Cirque, 16-year-old Darren decides to trade in his ordinary life for a chance to become an immortal vampire. As Darren explores his newfound powers and faces unexpected enemies, he’ll find that his existence as a member of the undead is filled with more challenges, suspense and fun than he ever thought possible.

THE CRAZIES (Blu-ray): Blue Underground

Its code name is ‘Trixie,’ an experimental government germ weapon that leaves its victims either dead or irreversibly insane. When the virus is accidentally unleashed in Evans City, Pennsylvania, the small community becomes a war zone of panicked military, desperate scientists and gentle neighbors turned homicidal maniacs. Now a small group of citizens has fled to the town’s outskirts where they must hide from trigger-happy soldiers while battling their own depraved urges. But even if they can escape the madness of this plague, can they survive the unstoppable violence of THE CRAZIES?

DANGEROUS CALLING: Cloud Ten

Pastor Evan Burke and his wife Nora assume leadership of First Baptist Willit Springs after the mysterious death of the previous pastor. Eager to get to know the new pastor, Miss Pat, the church’s controlling widow, invites Evan and Nora to stay with her while she has the parsonage renovated. Left alone at Miss Pat’s beautiful home in the mountains of North Georgia, Nora begins to suspect that Miss Pat’s son, Elijah, may have had something to do with the previous pastor’s death.

DEAD SNOW (DVD & Blu-ray): IFC (TEX’S PICK OF THE WEEK)

When a group of medical students take a sex-and-booze-fueled ski vacation to a remote cabin in the scenic Norwegian Alps, they uncover a dark secret from World War II. After arriving at a remote cabin and unpacking their beer and ski gear, the students are visited by a suspicious hiker, who tells them that during the war, Nazis occupying the area were driven by the locals deep into the mountains and were presumed to have frozen to death there. But the vacationers discover that there’s indeed something stirring out there, and it’s not long before they are confronted by a battalion of uncontrollable, unstoppable and extremely undead Nazis.

TEX SAYS: This is a pretty tough week to just pick one flick…but this Norwegian vs zombies comedy is bloody as hell and pretty brilliant to boot! So give it a spin.

ICHI THE KILLER (Blu-ray): Tokyo Shock

When a yakuza boss is murdered and his money is stolen, both truth and revenge are brutally sought. Leading the charge is Kakihara, the bleach-blonde pain junky whose interrogation methods are fetishistically sadistic. As the layers of the sordid tale are peeled back, it appears that someone is trying to turn rival gangs against each other. The centerpiece of this strategy is Ichi the Killer, a mysterious and completely unhinged master of slaughter. When the final showdown comes, it’s a psychologically cataclysmic event.

OPEN GRAVES: Lionsgate

An international group of young surfers comes into possession of an ancient artifact, Mamba, an old board game made from the skin and bones of a witch executed during the Spanish Inquisition. At a drunken party one night, they casually decide to play. It’s all fun and games until they find out that curses last forever and death is the ultimate undertow.

POULTRYGEIST (Blu-ray): Troma

When a fast food chicken restaurant is built on the site of an ancient Native American burial ground, the displaced spirits unite with the ghosts of exterminated chickens and transform into Indian chicken zombies seeking revenge! Now, it’s up to a dim-witted counter boy, his lesbian ex-girlfriend, and a burqa-wearing fry cook to put an end to the foul-feathered menace once and for all.

SORORITY ROW (DVD & Blu-ray): Summit

It’s all fun and games until someone gets stabbed with a tire iron. When a pledge week prank goes terribly wrong and one of their own is killed, the popular, hard-partying sisters of Theta Pi vow never to speak of the tragedy again. But the past comes back to haunt them in the form of a homicidal maniac seeking revenge during the out-of-control graduation festivities.