Blu-ray Review: ‘Lesbian Vampire Killers’

Now on Blu-ray in Canada from Universal Home Entertainment is Lesbian Vampire Killers (keeping its original title, which follows BAFTA winning comedy-duo James Corden and Mathew Horne (Gavin & Stacey) as they decide to escape their problems and head to the countryside for a weekend of debauchery. Things don’t quite go to plan and they find themselves stuck in a village where all the women have been enslaved by a legendary vampire curse. As the night unfolds the boys have to put all of their fears (and dreams) behind them in order to rise to the challenge of becoming Lesbian Vampire Killers.
The Film

Whenever a film hits jackpot, sure enough, a rush of imitators quickly come along to capitalize on its success. Shaun of the Dead’s near perfect blend of horror and comedy seems to work for everyone whether they’re a genre fan or not. Lesbian Vampire Killers attempts to create that same magic. Alas, it doesn’t work out so well.

The plot is routine as it gets: Two loser best friends are mankind’s only hope against a bunch of vampires…lesbian vampires. While the whole lesbian angle might be enticing enough for you to spend nearly ninety minutes of your life on it (did for me), it only takes a mere few minutes to realize you’ve just made a huge mistake. The majority of attempts for a laugh are excruciatingly forced and quite painful to endure. Aside from the cliché-ridden, uninspired screenplay, the two leads are completely unlikeable and unsympathetic. The character of Fletch might very well be the most obnoxious sidekick in genre history.

Lesbian Vampire Killers as a whole tries too damn hard to be pleasing to everyone that it ends up being an extremely irritating chore to behold. It’s not badly made in anyway but the tone of the picture is consistently one-note. It is the equivalent to standing right next to someone attempting to perform Will Ferrell’s voice immodulation sketch from SNL…for ninety straight minutes.

But wait…how’s the gore, you say? That’s if you consider a milk (or semen) like substance a perfectly suitable substitute for blood. You have to see it to believe it. Anyways, I found the experience of watching Lesbian Vampire Killers, an unfortunate waste of time.

2 out of 10


Video

The MPEG-4 AVC 1080p transfer is pretty solid. Black levels and detail are fine throughout. The color tone has a bit of a desaturated look to it which I’m guessing stays true to the intended look of the film.

7 out of 10


Audio

The 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio is pretty impressive in its scope. The score is appropriately epic. The sound design is very active, making great use of every channel. Also, the bass level packs quite a punch especially during the climax.

8 out of 10


Supplements

The audio commentary with director, Phil Claydon is an informative and breezy listen. It’s the only feature worth checking out.

Reserection: Bringing LVK To Life (1080p, 14:43) is your standard making of featurette.

The Fletch- Meister (1080p, 5:41) is a pointless compilation of footage of one of the most irritating and cliché-ridden sidekicks to grace genre cinema.

Whores of F**king Haides (1080p, 2:01) is yet another highlight reel but this one focuses on the obscenities throughout the film. Don’t ask.

VV Brown: Crying Blood music video (1080p, 2:48) is neither here nor there.

Webisodes (1080p, 8:06) is a collection of promo pieces not unlike the featurette.

The teaser and theatrical trailers are also included in HD.

3 out of 10


Final Thoughts

I found Lesbian Vampire Killers to be a poor man’s Shaun of the Dead. This lame excuse for a horror/comedy, falls consistently flat on its face. Nothing in it worked for me. For fans of this film, the solid A/V presentation and commentary will more than likely satisfy. Anyone else…you’ve been warned.

4 out of 10