Get ready to cringe or rejoice, as I have the brand spanking new trailer for the fifth flick in the popular Resident Evil film franchise, the unfortunately titled Re5ident Evil: Retribution 3D. It’s like Hollywood has some sort of awful movie title generator where you pull a lever and whatever this machine comes up with is going to be the title of your film. If it’s a sequel, you need to replace an ‘E’ with a 3, an ‘A’ with a 4, or a ‘S’ with a 5. That’s Movie Title Creation 101, folks. If it’s in 3D, you also have to add that to the title, because people are stupid, so how else are they going to know it’s in 3D?
Since you undoubtedly have better things to do than listen to me complain about movie titles — maybe think about a far more exciting Resident Evil reveal that may or may not be unveiled tomorrow? Check out the trailer and an official synopsis, after the break. Just a heads up, the good stuff doesn’t start until around the 2:40 mark, in case you’d like to skip all that chatter and dive straight into the trailer.
If that wasn’t enough, you can always wait for the HD trailer that’s due to come out tomorrow, but some people, like myself, just can’t be asked to wait that long.
Here’s the official synopsis:
“The Umbrella Corporation’s deadly T-virus continues to ravage the Earth, transforming the global population into legions of the flesh eating Undead. The human race’s last and only hope, Alice (Milla Jovovich), awakens in the heart of Umbrella’s most clandestine operations facility and unveils more of her mysterious past as she delves further into the complex. Without a safe haven, Alice continues to hunt those responsible for the outbreak; a chase that takes her from Tokyo to New York, Washington, D.C. and Moscow, culminating in a mind-blowing revelation that will force her to rethink everything that she once thought to be true. Aided by newfound allies and familiar friends, Alice must fight to survive long enough to escape a hostile world on the brink of oblivion. The countdown has begun.”
Re5ident Evil: Retribution infects movie theaters everywhere on September 14. Now I’d really like to know this: who here is looking forward to it?