June 26, 2010
It’s safe to say The Big Three brought their A games to this year’s biggest gaming expo. After the last couple years of resting on their laurels, Nintendo really kicked ass with some seriously jaw-dropping announcements tailored to excite their audience, rather than their investors. Nintendo wasn’t alone though, as Microsoft threw out more than their fair share of surprises including the long anticipated Xbox 360 redesign (and might I say how sexy the new, slimmer 360 is?), and Sony gave us an upgraded PSN as well as the delicious Twisted Metal.
But that’s just the pre-E3 conferences, there’s still the actual Electronic Entertainment Expo that managed to give us even more tasty, video game goodness. So with all the goods that E3 brought us this year, what were the craziest, most insanely unpredictable unveilings? TJ and I have ranked the ten announcements that left us picking our jaws off the floor, let’s see if you agree. Adam's #10. Gran Turismo 5 is coming, gets a release date
I don’t know if people are still wowed by the visuals or even the presence of the racing juggernaut that is the long MIA Gran Turismo 5, but I do know we’ve been waiting for a release date for many years. Well, now we have one, and it’s November 2.
TJ's #9.5. Seriously, can we get us some GT already?
Gran Turismo was a powerhouse in the racing game world, but they have fallen behind waiting a solid 5 years to release the next game. While all the while amazing games like Burnout and Blur just to name a couple come out of the darkness and do donuts on your face. Also, is Gran Turismo 5 the only sponsor of Last FM on the 360? If so, they used up all their money.
Adam's #9. Activision and Microsoft Make Sweet Call of Duty Love
The 360 has had more than a couple timed exclusives, but I’m positive there were more than a few PS3 fans out there that don’t like the idea of getting their Call of Duty content after everyone else for the next three years.
TJ's #8.5. Sega Dreamcast and the Next Genies Make Nice
I wasn't surprised by as much as I thought this year, so I'm putting the Pre-E3 announcement of Dreamcast games coming to XBLA and PSN on here. Because that is so super titties. Sonic Adventure and Crazy Taxi are the 1st games joining us on our Playstation 3s and Xbox 360s. I'm pretty excited to see what else they have planned.
Adam's #8. Metal Gear Solid: Rising Gameplay Rocks My Socks
I had little doubt Rising would be amazing, but the gameplay that was shown at the Microsoft press conference blew my mind and left me with a strong craving for fruit.
TJ's #7.5. MGSR, yes, hoping the same great series will have a new twist to it
Metal Gear is an amazing series. But I bore of the stealth. MGSR opens up a whole new world of cutting things into a million pieces and what as of right now looks like virtually no stealth. I'm in.
Adam's #7. Red Faction: Armageddon dives into survival horror
Red Faction: Guerilla was a truly amazing game and I’ve been anxiously awaiting news on its sequel for what feels like forever. Well, E3 gave me all that and more when Armageddon was revealed as a brave new foray into the horror genre, as the people of Mars have been driven below ground, awaking the bug creature things that live beneath. This game will be amazing.
TJ's #6.5. If we could only be so lucky as to have all games go survival horror.
I must admit, I haven't played any Red Faction games. But this is reason enough to get me started. If a lot more games start going horror, I will start playing them for sure. I'm looking at you Katamari.
Adam's #6. Natal gets a Makeover, If In Name Only
Since Kinect was revealed as Project Natal I really haven’t been very enthused about it. E3 changed all that. Unsurprisingly, there were some games in the Wii Sports/Play vein, and the creepy, animal violating games like Kinectimals, but titles like Dance Central and Your Shape: Fitness Evolved could be game-changers (pun intended). Just please, Microsoft, let us play games sitting down.
TJ's #5.5. Nintendo pretty much says: "Your handheld will never be as good as ours." I was hoping for an Xbox 180. Or something.
Nintendo had the balls to make the Wii. With sub par graphics (compared to the PS3 and 360) at best. But it didn't matter because they have done something no one else as. And they are doing it again with the 3DS. Glassesless (I made that word up) 3D. They haven't even given you that in a movie theater or on your flat screen 3D tvs yet. Nintendo says suck it world. And Microsoft, where is my Xbox 180? I want some on the go Halo plz.
Adam's #5. Microsoft Brings Sexy Back
Just when we were sure they had bared all, Microsoft blew out minds with the sleeker, sexier Xbox 360. But that’s not all, oh no sir, right after that they threw out the console’s NOW availability. When we expect Microsoft to zig they zag, then when we think they’ll zag, they DO zag just to mess with us.
TJ's #4.5. Natal, a shitty name, renamed Kinect, an almost more shitty name?
It's all in the title. Do people sit around in board meetings and think up this stuff and they all agree, yeah this sounds pretty great. But, yay no controllers!
Adam's #4. Portal 2. Also on PS3. Need I Say More?
I really don’t need to say more about a multi-platform sequel to one of my new favorite games of all time, but it exists, and we’ll get it soon (including all of you beautiful, talented, super special PS3 gamers out there.)
TJ's #3.5. Nintendo, bringing us our favorite old titles? Yes. Yes a million times yes.
Look, I'm going to cut to the chase. Read Adam's #2.
Adam's #3. Twisted Metal. Coming Soon. Nerdgasms Ensue.
A new game is coming, it looks good, has a fiery clown biker gang, and will make me very happy when I’m finally able to play it. The Twisted Metal series is awesome, everyone knows that. If you don’t like the games that means you’re a Nazi. Now try and say you don’t like them, you Nazi.
TJ's #2.5. Yeah, Twisted Metal 3.
Damn Nazis. All I can really say is, why did you keep us waiting so long? Who do you think you are, Capcom? Making us wait 10 years for MvC3. Unreal. Game companies need to get it together. People want sequels to the games they loves. Stop dropping the ball.
Adam's #2. Nintendo BLOWS MY MIND. (In a good way.)
Alright, let’s cut to the chase: Nintendo has sucked lately. Now, I’m not saying they haven’t been kicking ass in sales and all that jazz, but when it comes to making your core fan base happy, Nintendo has dropped the ball since, well, I guess E3 2006 wasn’t that bad. This year they managed to satiate the endless appetites of everyone with the announcement of a new Zelda title, Kid Icarus, Goldeneye, and tons of new details on the Nintendo 3DS. And while I was getting ready to pick my jaw up off the floor they revealed the developer support for their upcoming handheld including a new Metal Gear, Resident Evil, Street Fighter IV, and a TON of other games I’d rather not list here.
TJ's #1.5. SIlent Hill 8.
It was a prediction, a prediction I had no hope for. But, side missions? Side missions also mean there could be possible DLC. I want.
Adam's #1. The Lack of Surprises
This year’s E3 was great, it was epic, and was nothing short of awesome. But I am a difficult person to please, and I was expecting some seriously big unveilings that were strangely MIA. Where is The Last Guardian? I can’t keep up my sassy demeanor without some news on Team Ico’s latest project. And what about the Arkham Asylum sequel? Or Resistance 3? Resident Evil PSP? How about a price or release date for the 3DS? Am I done bitching? No sir. I also wanted Hulu on my Xbox 360. Okay, TJ’s turn.
TJ's #0.5. Secret Of Mana for the iPhone.
Definitely my biggest surprise, and my biggest let down. I don't want an iPhone, but I definitely want one of my favorite games from my childhood and of all time with me at all times. Which brings me to the fact that I must complain about a few things. 1. Yeah where the hell is Hulu on our 360s?? 2. Look, I am MORE than excited for Goldeneye on the 3DS. But what the hell are you thinking not working out a deal with Microsoft and Sony and releasing the game to the PSN and XBLA?! Just sit back and imagine with me, if you would, Goldeneye over 2 massive massive online communities. The possibilities are endless! ENDLESS! I used to play Goldeneye for days on end. This game practically started multiplayer 1st person shooter games. And I want Bomberman 64 on there too. This is my list of demands. And give me Star Fox 64 also. Stop screwing with me. And while you're at it, throw in the game that should have been released on the Next Gen systems. Resident Evil Outbreak. (Drops the mic, walks off stage)
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December 28, 2011
Oh hey, I didn't see you there!
2011 was an eventful year - tectonic shifts are moving through the industry in terms of distribution methods, audience demand, and the staggeringly precipitous drop off in quality of studio releases.
When I sat down to write this piece I didn't want to make a laundry list of complaints (or praise), but rather a collection of stuff - good or bad - that genuinely surprised me at the time. Even if much of it does make sense now.
Also, I'm not sure whether this particular piece is getting published before or after my Best Posters & Worst Trailers lists - but both of those were written beforehand and mention Red State.
Why do I bring this up? Because this editorial contains my final word on Kevin Smith and his Red State shenanigans. Sure, I reserve the right to speak up if there's something else to contribute to the conversation - but I'm making a vow to wash the taste of Kevin Smith (2011 Edition) out of my mouth. That means that - after this article - I'm giving him a clean slate. I'd like to be pleasantly surprised by him after an unpleasant 2011.
Hit the jump to check it out! 1. The Success Of 'Insidious'
Mr. Disgusting (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best/Worst) | BC (Best/Worst) | David Harley (Best/Worst)
Micah (Best/Worst) | Lonmonster (Best/Worst) | Evan Dickson (Best/Worst) | Lauren Taylor (Best/Worst)
Posters (Best/Worst) | Trailers (Best/Worst) | Performances (Best)
The big horror film this past April was supposed to be Scream 4. It wasn't. In fact, the public displayed a markedly decreased interest in the continuation of the franchise (either because of Scream 3 or the simple passage of time, take your pick). What the public decided upon instead was Insidious. A film that wasn't really on the world's radar in any big way prior to its release wound up taking in $54 Million domestic ($97 Million worldwide) at the box office. Compare that with Scream 4's disappointing domestic haul of $38 Million ($97 Million worldwide) and you might ask what the big deal is. After all, their worldwide cumes are nearly identical. Of course, the $1.5 Million budget for Insidious is roughly 1/26th of the amount spent on Scream 4. And the budgets allocated to their P&A campaigns were of disparate amounts as well (though not as dramatic of a divide as their production costs). What Insidious proved, however unlikely or temporarily, is that audiences on occasion will choose something small and original over sequelized behemoths. In this day and age, that's a nice surprise to have.
2. The Tanking Of Remakes
The Thing - $16,928,670*
Fright Night - $18,302,607*
Straw Dogs - $10,324,441*
*domestic box office
First of all, I'm calling The Thing a remake even though technically it's a prequel. But it's a prequel with the same title, an identical visual aesthetic and no new ideas. The reason it exists is for the same business reasons remakes exist. At the core of its CGI heart, spiritually, the film is a remake and you know it.
Why did they fail? I never expected Straw Dogs to knock it out of the park. The subject matter is wayyyyyy too touchy and its leads, while all appealing actors, have yet to be proven box office draws.
But I honestly thought The Thing and especially Fright Night would do better. Even if Colin Farrell is more of a character actor than movie star these days it had a great cast, decent marketing and it's about vampires (the cash cow with golden udders). The Thing looked like it was positioned to sucker in a great October opening weekend at the very least.
In hindsight the two-pronged explanation seems relatively simple.
None of these movies were all that great. Maybe horror audiences are getting better at parsing through marketing and ascertaining an approximation of the actual quality level of the film.
...and...
As much as you and I may love the original films, none of them were really hits. Even though they're all classics with rich lives on the video shelves, there's not really a giant mainstream awareness of them. Especially among teenagers. This lack of awareness hurts on two fronts. You don't get the “built-in-audience” factor that remakes bank on, and the few people who do make it to the theater without being in love with the originals are confronted with films that spend much of their running time paying attention to a different audience. Case in point, the ending of The Thing. As a fan of the original it was one of the few moments I appreciated. But if you're some kid who walked in blind? What the hell are you supposed to do with that?
3. The Ending Of ‘The Ward' - Why So Obvious?
Spoiler! If I told you that there was a film with an ensemble cast that took place in a mental hospital and asked you to guess the twist ending - what would your first guess be?
That's right! That's exactly what it is. I'm not sure what John Carpenter saw in Michael and Shawn Rasmussen's script, other than something he could shoot on the cheap. The shame is that Carpenter actually kind of brings it here as a director - the film is visually and editorially sound. Unfortunately it's saddled with a script straight from the 1992 “consider” pile.
4. Drive Angry - Why Didn't You Go?
I'm not sure what went wrong in the minds of horror fans on February 25th, 2011. But it was more than a little surprising to see so few of you turn out for Drive Angry. Nic Cage having intercourse mid gunfight, William Fichtner in general, the devil, cars, blood, car chases, Amber Heard... need I go on?
It's not a classic, but this is one of those original movies that you constantly whine about not getting, only to routinely reject.
5. Cost Of Living
It can be such a pain going to see short films. You want to do it out of an inherent duty to keep your eye out for special new talent, but you get burned again and again. Shorts are the great canvas for people who aren't ready to make films to announce to the world just how unprepared they are. I saw at least 50 or 60 shorts this year and I think I liked maybe 5 of them.
Then there's Cost Of Living. It's a load of fun and it's also writer/director BenDavid Grabinski's announcement that he's ready for the reigns on a feature. Filmed in a tunnel system familiar to any fan of They Live, this short packs more character, humor, action and gore into its 8 minute running time than many of the features I had to sit through this year. Particularly inspired is the computerized voice of the automated security system - a device that simultaneously ups the tension and the laughs.
Look for Cost Of Living to make its online debut sometime next year.
6. ‘Creature' Opens On 1,500 Screens
September 9th, 2011.
Despite the fact that it should have never been made at all, Creature opened on a whopping 1,507 screens on this date. Regardless of the realities of the situation, the only way I can imagine this decision playing out is in a dank room with flickering lights and gargantuan quantities of cocaine.
I saw the film the night before its release in a room filled with the most odious moviegoers I've ever had to endure. Cell phones constantly on, the guy behind me drinking a 40, the entire audience refusing to shut the f*ck up. Normally I call people out on this behavior but it was a toss-up for me since their bored commentary about equaled the movie in entertainment value. I came to the conclusion that if the entire theater went up in flames, taking the audience and a print of the film with it, it would totally be worth the sacrifice of my own life.
Of course, reality rewarded them with the 2nd lowest wide release per-screen average in the history of cinema - but I'm still really curious as to how they arrived at this decision. Shortly after the film's release, director Fred Andrews called critics who didn't like the film (ie everyone except for the LA Times) “bottom feeders”. This being despite his inept audacity to have his entire climactic battle take place off camera.
So from a “bottom feeder” to Fred Andrews - how's the view from the top buddy?
7. Kevin Smith Charges $80* To See ‘Red State'
After lying to legitimate bidders at the Sundance Film festival about his intentions to auction off the rights to his middling bible belt thriller, Smith smugly strolled out in his trademark oversize hockey jersey and ‘bought' the rights to the film himself for $20. It was a moment choreographed to come across as bold and triumphant. Well, he misread the room - many of whom had actually been considering buying Red State. Instead it spoke volumes about Smith's own disconnect with growth, valid criticism. More loudly still, it spoke about Smith's increasing need to insulate himself.
Smith has been at odds with critics since Cop Out (and you could argue that he's been at odds with quality filmmaking since Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back) when he suggested they have to pay to see his films like everyone else. It was also around this time that he curiously defended Cop Out by implying that the title of the film alone should clue us in to the amount of effort he put into it. In which case it makes no sense for him to get mad about people hating it, but very little about Smith makes sense these days unless you view it through the lens of impotent rage.
So to see him four-walling his Red State and taking it on the road at premium prices (*some markets had tickets below $80, some markets had ticket above $80) along with a Q&A segment almost makes sense in terms of his overall trajectory. He also charged $20 dollars to see it at the New Beverly, a venue that almost always offers double features along with Q&A for $7. The iTunes rental started off at $9.99, which is a good deal more than most premium rentals.
That's not surprising. What's surprising is how ugly it got.
Look, he knows how to get his fanbase to shell out inordinate sums of money. There's always been a ceiling of $30 Million or so for his films DBO and it's a smart move on his part to recognize that he's trapped under a glass ceiling. But he does have a large number of fans under that ceiling with him that worship the ground he walks on and will pay top dollar for anything he does. It's a cynical move on his part to exploit that, but it's also smart. I feel bad for his fans, but there's only so many times you can try and intervene in an abusive relationship before you realize you're just wasting everyone's time.
But it gets uglier beyond that - perhaps emboldened by his perception of the success of a new business strategy that allows him to keep his friends in his pocket while alienating his ‘enemies' (anyone he perceives as having done him wrong - which after 20 years in the business is a long, long list) - he has begun dismantling any and all remaining goodwill towards him. He has a security blanket in the cadre of fans who suck up to him on twitter, forwarding him links of articles they feel have wronged their master in an attempt to solicit approval for themselves and ire towards anyone who refuses to validate their aesthetic arbiter (in some cases their lifestyle arbiter).
In some ways he's becoming the geek Howard Hughes, withdrawing into his own world. Instead of germs, he's battling criticism. It doesn't matter whether it's overt or implied. In what seems like a subconscious act of grappling with his insecurities, rather than demanding accolades for himself, he's decided to throw his actors into the firing line instead (something I suspect they want no part of). After all, the series of screenings at the New Beverly was an “Award Qualifying” run for his talent... not for him.
A few weeks ago, the Independent Spirit Awards failed to recognize Red State in a manner that lived up to Smith's expectations.
His response? "How the fuck did the @SpiritAwards NOT nominate Michael Parks? Nor John Goodman? Nor Melissa Leo? Fuck your idiotic organization."
In a world defined by our actions, he's that kind of guy now. It's enough to retroactively spoil what little enjoyment I still get out of his early films.
In order to grow as a filmmaker you need to learn from your mistakes. Which is perhaps why Smith isn't showing any growth. Sure, he self-deprecatingly admonishes himself and his films, but I don't think he actually internalizes what he's saying. It's just fodder for the Q&A circuit, fodder for Kevin & Bean, and fodder for the people who he knows will buy what he's selling.
I hope he gets past this, I hope this is a phase. But I'm beginning to think this is how he's been all along.
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