Welcome to the first edition of Netflix Instant Edition of Horror In Your House. As of today there are currently about 600 horror titles available to stream instantly, but that number is constantly changing and evolving. Instant films are not available permanently and most expire in under a year. And the release schedule follows no set pattern. For example, September had around 70 horror releases while December had less than 20. So, yeah, it’s a bit of a mess. I’ll use this space / column as a repository for titles that are recently released, about to expire, along with providing recommendations. Let me know what you think (format suggestions, etc – just don’t tell me to f*ck off and die, I’m sensitive). If all pans out and people find this helpful, I will pull a column together every couple weeks. Alright, let’s get to it.
Netflix Instant Horror In Your House
January 18th, 2011
RECENT RELEASES (of note):
LOST BOYS: THE THIRST (2010)
As the lost boys and girls of San Cazador prepare to party under the Blood Moon, an alpha vampire conspires to turn these unsuspecting ravers into an army of undead. The only thing that stands between him and the annihilation of the entire human race is the infamous vampire fighting Frog Brothers. Armed with double-barrel holy water balloon launchers and multi-arrow crossbows, Edgar (Corey Feldman) and Alan Frog (Jamison Newlander) join forces to kick some blood-sucker butt in this latest high-energy, action packed adventure in the Lost Boys franchise.
This “Creepshow”-style anthology features a trio of short slasher flicks: the tale of a puppeteer who gets revenge on his family; the story of a woman whose murderous visions become all too real; and the tale of a thief and a sinister garden gnome. Loosely connecting the three films is the grim fate of two punks who steal these movies from a local video store. Contributing directors include Stanley A. Long and Michael Armstrong.
The wrap-around story is so hilariously bad that is must be watched to be believed.
This time around the Southern residents of Pleasant Valley take their cannibalistic Guts N’ Glory Jamboree on the road to Iowa where they encounter spoiled Northern heiresses Rome and Tina Sheraton and the cast and crew of their “Road Rascals” reality show. Performing “The Bloodiest Show on Earth,” our Southern Maniacs prove to be more than ratings killers. READ: THIS ONE IS NOT GOOD
VAMPIRES: OUT FOR BLOOD (2004)
When youngsters start disappearing from all-night raves, Det. Hank Holten (Kevin Dillon) gets put on the case but becomes unhinged after learning the grisly truth: that vampires are using the parties as a feeding ground. Things go from bad to worse when the head bloodsucker bites Holten, who must hunt down and destroy the creatures of the night … or lose his soul. Lance Henriksen and Vanessa Angel costar in this direct-to-video thriller.
I enjoyed this one at a B-movie just for fun and entertainment level, plus it features Kevin Dillon right before Entourage swooped him up.
DOLLY DEAREST (1992)
If Chucky from Child’s Play weren’t already taken, he just might go for this demonic she-devil. Infused with the energy of an ancient black-magic cult, an otherwise normal plaything begins affecting her surroundings with a series of horrible “accidents.” But the little girl (Candy Hutson) who loves her refuses to believe her dolly has been bad. Rip Torn co-stars as an archaeologist who unearths the toy’s dirty little secret.
This movie is ridiculous fun and features some of the cheesiest one-liners and terrible acting around. B-lovers, this one is a must.
Clive Barker’s feature directing debut graphically depicts the tale of a man and wife who move into an old house and discover a hideous creature – the man’s half-brother, who is also the woman’s former lover – hiding upstairs. Having lost his earthly body to a trio of S&M demons, the Cenobites, he is brought back into existence by a drop of blood on the floor. He soon forces his former mistress to bring him his necessary human sacrifices to complete his body… but the Cenobites won’t be happy about this.
HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II (1988)
For Kirsty Cotton (Ashley Laurence), the nightmares never end. Still fresh in her fevered memory are her father’s skinned corpse, the evil machinations of her uncle Frank’s reanimated body and the unspeakable perversity of the Cenobites. But the worst is yet to come. From beyond the Outer Darkness, from the darkest regions of the imagination comes Hellbound: Hellraiser II.
A young family are visited by ghosts in their home. At first the ghosts appear friendly, moving objects around the house to the amusement of everyone, then they turn nasty and start to terrorise the family before they “kidnap” the youngest daughter.
TRICK `R TREAT (2009)
The film features four interwoven stories that occur on Halloween: An everyday high school principal has a secret life as a serial killer; a college virgin might have just met the one guy for her; a group of teenagers pull a mean prank; and a woman who loathes the night has to contend with her holiday-obsessed husband.
Easily one of the best films of the last few years and in the discussion for one of the all-time best anthologies.
A brash Manhattan industrialist, his coke-bingeing wife and a slum wino have something grisly in common: They’re the latest victims in a series of seemingly motiveless murders, and all of them appear to have been killed by animals. Albert Finney stars in this shivery tale about brutal murders pointing to a previously unknown breed of canine creatures. Michael Wadleigh directs an innovative take on the werewolf legend full of mood and menace.
Pretty kick ass werewolf flick, definitely recommended.
Suck is a rock’n’roll vampire comedy about a group of musical wannabees in search of immortality and a record deal. The rock band The Winners have sunk so low, they will do anything to make it big. After a life-changing encounter with a vampire, they rocket to stardom only to discover that fame and fortune are not all they’re cracked up to be. Personally, I really enjoyed this one.
Moby’s cameo (along with all the rock cameos) was astoundingly funny. The more I think about this film, the more I wanna watch it again.
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (2009)
Angela Feld is throwing the Halloween party to end all Halloween parties at the infamous Broussard Mansion in New Orleans, where dark events transpired almost a century ago. But when the packed party gets busted by the police, Angela and her friends Maddie, Lily, Suzanne, Colin, Dex and Jason are the only ones left behind. Soon Colin and Angela make a grisly discovery in the basement and inexplicable events start to take place. With the mansion gates mysteriously locked, the seven find themselves trapped for the night…and soon they’re fighting ancient demons for their very souls.
Expiring on Jan 19th
INNOCENT BLOOD (1992)
John Landis (American Werewolf in London) directs a vampire gangster romance movie that features cameos from Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Drag Me To Hell), Dario Argento (Suspiria), Frank Oz (Yoda), Tom Savini (SFX master) and host of others. Watch it.
GHOST SHIP (2002)
Truly a crappy film. No scares. This one won’t be missed.
THE SWARM (1978)
Entomologist Brad Crane (Michael Caine) and his crack team of scientists attempt to intervene when swarms of voracious killer bees begin attacking a number of cities in Texas, and an army general (Richard Widmark) threatens to use military firepower against this force of nature.
IT’S ALIVE (1974)
Larry Cohen’s cult film about a mutated killer baby. This is a must watch for fans of B-movies.
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 2 (1988)
What’s that smell? When a barrel of mysterious gas rolls off an Army truck, a group of curious kids opens the lid: big mistake. The lethal stench soon wafts into a nearby cemetery, reanimating a horde of ravenous zombies. And these flesh-hungry members of the undead have only one thing on the brain, and that’s … brains!
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984)
Yep, it’s only available for another day. Time for an emergency viewing?
EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS (2002)
Ah yes, the David Arquette spider send-up of the 50’s mutant flicks. It’s as bad and as good as you think it is.
While being interrogated by a police psychiatrist, the near-catatonic Tabitha (Katheryn Winnick) tries to explain why she and two of her childhood friends (Laura Breckenridge and Jessica Lucas) are being hunted by a serial killer. The truth that’s dying to come out weaves together three tragic secrets from their past. Keir O’Donnell and Tad Hilgenbrinck co-star as two of the girls’ boyfriends who become unwitting targets in their deadly game.
Director Andrew Currie’s imaginative horror-comedy follows the misadventures of typical boy-next-door Timmy Robinson (K’Sun Ray) and his very unusual pet — a loyal, lumbering zombie named Fido (Billy Connolly). Problems arise when Fido breaks loose and noshes on a neighbor. Timmy is suddenly forced into damage-control mode while he tries to persuade his parents (Carrie-Anne Moss and Dylan Baker) to keep Fido. Definitely worth a watch for zombie fans.
Six chums on a camping trip unwittingly pitch their tent on the unmarked grave of depraved serial killer the Reaper, who, according to legend, emerges during a full moon in a leap year. The friends’ revitalizing trip to the mountains soon becomes a night of horror as the psychotic fiend hunts down the terrified vacationers one by one. Alison Moon, Cameron McHarg, Charlene Amoia, Jerri Badenhop and Peter Carlstrom star in this gory shocker.
ALONE IN THE DARK 2 (2008)
It’s got Lance Henriksen, but that doesn’t mean much these days. Skip!
BODY SNATCHERS (1993)
Young Marty Malone (Gabrielle Anwar) and her family have just moved to a Southern military base so that her father (Terry Kinney) can study a curious environmental issue. Just as she’s settling into her new life, Marty learns that an alien attack is imminent and that the creatures are planning to turn humans into “pod people” as they sleep. Marty and her friends must now band together to fight off the aliens.
After the tragic events of the first film, Andy’s mother is committed and Andy (Alex Vincent) ends up in foster care. Meanwhile, the killer-doll’s manufacturer reconstructs Chucky to salvage its reputation and prove that nothing was wrong with the doll. But something was, and in re-creating the doll, the company has resurrected the soul of the murderous Charles Lee Ray. Soon, Chucky (voiced by Brad Dourif) is up to his old tricks.
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