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[Special Feature] ‘Final Destination’: Not So Final After All!

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Death. It’s the most final of words; even in the thesaurus it is synonymous with words like ‘finish’ or ‘exit.’ To death, there’s no beginning, middle and end. There are no more birthdays, no more promotions at work. And that’s what makes death so damn terrifying- the fact that it’s all unknown. The fact that there really is nothing to look forward to once the clock stops ticking.

I was in high school when Final Destination hit theaters. I didn’t even bother to go and see it; I figured it was another cookie-cutter example of a teen slasher flick. From the sound of it, I was certain it would be some guy dressed as father death slinging a scythe around. Boy, was I wrong. It was an original; not necessarily a masterpiece, but a breath of fresh air amidst masked killers and by the book adolescent cinema. Now, here we are, eleven years later and looking dead in the eyes of ‘Final Destination 5’, the latest installment in the franchise. While most of us had tuned out after the massacre that was 4, those who believed in the idea stuck it out- and, thanks to their perseverance, this one is coming out smelling like roses. Some are going so far as to argue that this film is going to be the best of the series; while others, at the very least, have bestowed best sequel honors on the film. Since I haven’t seen the film yet, I can’t pass judgement- but our very own Mr. Disgusting actually liked it. Knowing how much he loves the series (probably as much as I love Justin Bieber), this is quite the compliment; and certainly a reason for me to be there this weekend.

In honor of Final Destination 5 (review), I took a trip down memory lane with story elitist Jeffrey Reddick, producer Craig Perry, and the man himself, actor Tony Todd; after all, if it weren’t for Flight 180, this bridge over troubled water wouldn’t exist.
Final Destination

In death there are no accidents, no coincidences, no mishap, and no escapes.” ~~Bludworth, Final Destination (2000)

It was fresh and original,” recalled Perry, who has produced all five films in the franchise. “We were given the latitude to explore the ideas.” Perry went on about the original 14 page treatment he helped Reddick complete. “[The film] was the perfect synthesis of what New Line wanted. It was different. It was unique in how it treated its audience. It treated you with respect. And ultimately, it was a way for audiences to explore the things we can’t define, the things that frighten us… and get away with it.

If the plot isn’t familiar by now, there’s a problem. I’m thinking something along the lines of a residence being under a rock. Basically a teenager has a vision that the plane he’s on explodes and everyone dies. He snaps out of it, realizes he’s ON that plane, and freaks out. After exchanging words with the class jock and causing a ruckus that results in him and a few classmates, as well as a teacher, deplaning, the plane actually does explode, killing those still on board. By saving himself and the others, he ruined Death’s plan, causing a ripple effect that forces Death himself to hunt them down one by one.

And that is the first film in a nutshell.

Director James Wong and writer Glen Morgan’s mark on the franchise began when they were pulled onto the original film. Taking what Reddick had pieced together, they changed it to fit their vision and ultimately ran with it. But it was Reddick who had the ‘ah-ha’ moment. “I was actually flying home to Kentucky and I read this story about a woman who was on vacation in Hawaii and her mom called her and said ‘Don’t take the flight tomorrow, I have a really bad feeling about it,’” said Reddick, who is formally credited for his story creation in both Final Destination and ‘Final Destination 2’. “She switched flights and the plane that she would have been on crashed. I thought, that’s creepy- what if she was supposed to die on that flight?” Originally an X-Files spec script, Reddick, with Perry’s guidance, transformed the script into Flight 180, the movie’s original working title. Though Reddick wrote the entire first draft, eventually Wong and Morgan stepped in, rewriting the script and taking charge.

A lot of things had changed from the first ideas on paper. Initially, the characters had been a group of adult strangers- however, with the wave of teen horror, the characters were changed to fit the times. But the high school seniors were the only common dominator in those films. The biggest difference? The killer wasn’t physical. There was no mask, no weapon- and that’s what made it different. “New Line was very nervous about having a movie with death as the killer,” said Reddick. “What Final Destination has going for it is that death is all around us. It’s not just someone chasing somebody with an axe.

The nervousness eventually wore off. Though the film only made around $10 million its opening weekend (less than half the budget), it came back to gross over $112 million worldwide when it was all said and done. And it was certainly a big enough return to nudge New Line in the direction of a sequel, even though it wasn’t a necessity. “We could have made no other movies and the first one still would have been a satisfying experience,” said Perry.”But when we were given the opportunity to make a sequel, we jumped at it,

Final Destination

“There’s gonna be a huge accident. Everybody’s gonna die!” ~~Kimberly, ‘Final Destination 2’ (2003)

Riding off of the success that the crash of Flight 180, er, I mean Final Destination, brought down with it, New Line again approached Reddick to piece together the second installment. “I wanted to expand on the mythology and not just tell the same story over again.

The story came to him while driving. He saw one of those oversized, overstocked log trucks teetering along, and the highway to hell was conceived. Initially he had been thinking of a hotel fire- but it seemed too simplistic for what would become the franchise’s signature: an elaborate opening that puts other death sequences to shame. Follow it up with some kills to remember and that’s the apparent recipe for success.

The kills were just great,” said Perry of ‘FD2’, who is fond of the window pane kill of poor little Timmy. “I find it wildly entertaining.” For many, that’s the appeal of these films- the kills aren’t gratuitous. They aren’t overdone, nor can they be classified as ‘over the top’ or to the extremity of ‘torture porn.’ They’re fast, they’re clean, and they get the job done. “The kills are the punctuation of the cinematic sentence that comprises the sequence,” added Perry.

In ‘Final Destination 2’, the log truck loses its load and those in the path of destruction meet a horrendous fate; several escaping when a young woman has ‘the vision’ while driving and causes a traffic-stopping distraction; literally. As in the first film, the pattern begins, each survivor dying in a ghastly way to fit Death’s plan- only this time the deaths were much more elaborate and the film’s tone hit all the right notes. From first glance, it seemed as if New Line had another hit on its hands- and a possible franchise in the making. After all, it’s one thing to make a sequel; it’s another to continue in the name of success.

Final Destination

“Death is fucking complicated.” ~~Erin, ‘Final Destination 3’ (2006)

Final Destination reached franchise level when director/writer duo Wong and Morgan returned for 2006’s ‘Final Destination 3’, a vanilla compound in comparison to the two previous films. This time a horrendous roller coaster accident claims the lives of its victims. Great start, but something that was more of an ‘engine that could’ shot at filmmaking as opposed to a new take on an old concept. The film itself was well made, but it just didn’t fall into place as well as fans had hoped. And don’t even get us started on The Final Destination- its success was measured by 3D ticket sales and not creativity. Audiences far and wide were disappointed in the outcome; and even the filmmakers agree that it wasn’t what they’d hoped it would be.

But redemption is well overdue and the crew behind ‘FD5’ is looking forward to that achievement this weekend when the film hits theaters on Friday.

We started fresh and brought in a new group of creative people who actually questioned why things happened the way they happened,” said Perry, who feels this film is his favorite of the five. “They were dedicated to making this movie the best it could possibly be.”

Director Steven Quale teams up with Eric Heisserer, the scribe behind The Nightmare on Elm Street remake, for the latest installment. Though Quale may not be a household name, he comes from a strong background in the industry- most notably as Second Unit Director on both Titanic and Avatar, learning the ropes by way of James Cameron. Not a bad place to hail from. “Once the film opens he’s going to have at least ten offers on the table,” bragged Todd.

By way of trailers and whispers, the bridge seems to be the culprit this time around; death sending its victims into muddy waters as the catalyst. “‘FD5’ got the tone right,” said Perry. “It’s serious, but still has humor – gallows humor. It’s not campy but is aware of how potentially absurd the situation is. I think everyone involved saw ‘FD5’ as a chance to redeem ourselves, to say we’re sorry, to say that we figured it out, and to really put our best creative foot forward as opposed to relying on the financial success of ‘FD4’.

They took the time to come up with a great twist on this one,” said Todd. And he was right. It’s not the same old formula- now there’s a new rule. If you’re in line to die, and you kill someone, they take your place. Talk about a complicated morality check. “With each of the movies we’ve been trying to establish the perfect vision of what the franchise can be,” said Perry. “With ‘FD5’, we got it right,

Collapsing bridges, murder or be murdered; the Final Destination franchise has certainly evolved from what was originally supposed to be, as Todd puts it, “… one of those jobs where I was one and done.” Hoping to build off of the potential success, future installments are in the works. While rumors have been circulating for months, Perry put it into the best of words; “We hope to have the right to talk about [another installment] come Monday. It’s up to the audience.

Final Destination

Death as a Killer

It wasn’t just some slasher movie,” recalled Reddick. “The whole idea that there is a pattern to death added another level that set the franchise apart.” Perry added, “We don’t have a visible bad guy. The bad guy in some ways is a metaphysical idea, a thesis. Is it fate? Is it destiny? Is it death itself? By not providing a concrete answer, you can bring your own background to the viewing experience. It’s really a reflection of what you believe.

Horror fans, hell, movie fans, had grown accustomed to physically seeing the attacker. Jason. Michael Meyers. Freddy Krueger. And despite arguments that the Final Destination franchise is not horror, it’s a disagreeable fact; it’s a slasher flick without the slasher. There’s suspense, there’s blood, there’s the dumb girl or boy doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. It’s not what we’re used to, but that’s the beauty of it. And that’s what keeps audiences coming back for more.

Who knows if ‘FD5’ will be a success. Who knows if there will be another Final Destination sometime in the future. My guess is that audiences will flock to it to see what happens next; what’s changed, what’s new. They’ll buy some popcorn, sit back, and cringe as one by one, Death follows the pattern, distributing his plan. Maybe seeing or avoiding this film is a part of your plan; either way, death is ever present, and the Final Destination series stands by its motto; life is short, and then you die.

For more from Andrea, visit her blog, THE ALBIN WAY.

Editorials

‘Amityville Karen’ Is a Weak Update on ‘Serial Mom’ [Amityville IP]

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Amityville Karen horror

Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.”

A bizarre recurring issue with the Amityville “franchise” is that the films tend to be needlessly complicated. Back in the day, the first sequels moved away from the original film’s religious-themed haunted house storyline in favor of streamlined, easily digestible concepts such as “haunted lamp” or “haunted mirror.”

As the budgets plummeted and indie filmmakers capitalized on the brand’s notoriety, it seems the wrong lessons were learned. Runtimes have ballooned past the 90-minute mark and the narratives are often saggy and unfocused.

Both issues are clearly on display in Amityville Karen (2022), a film that starts off rough, but promising, and ends with a confused whimper.

The promise is embodied by the tinge of self-awareness in Julie Anne Prescott (The Amityville Harvest)’s screenplay, namely the nods to John Waters’ classic 1994 satire, Serial Mom. In that film, Beverly Sutphin (an iconic Kathleen Turner) is a bored, white suburban woman who punished individuals who didn’t adhere to her rigid definition of social norms. What is “Karen” but a contemporary equivalent?

In director/actor Shawn C. Phillips’ film, Karen (Lauren Francesca) is perpetually outraged. In her introductory scenes, she makes derogatory comments about immigrants, calls a female neighbor a whore, and nearly runs over a family blocking her driveway. She’s a broad, albeit familiar persona; in many ways, she’s less of a character than a caricature (the living embodiment of the name/meme).

These early scenes also establish a fairly straightforward plot. Karen is a code enforcement officer with plans to shut down a local winery she has deemed disgusting. They’re preparing for a big wine tasting event, which Karen plans to ruin, but when she steals a bottle of cursed Amityville wine, it activates her murderous rage and goes on a killing spree.

Simple enough, right?

Unfortunately, Amityville Karen spins out of control almost immediately. At nearly every opportunity, Prescott’s screenplay eschews narrative cohesion and simplicity in favour of overly complicated developments and extraneous characters.

Take, for example, the wine tasting event. The film spends an entire day at the winery: first during the day as a band plays, then at a beer tasting (???) that night. Neither of these events are the much touted wine-tasting, however; that is actually a private party happening later at server Troy (James Duval)’s house.

Weirdly though, following Troy’s death, the party’s location is inexplicably moved to Karen’s house for the climax of the film, but the whole event plays like an afterthought and features a litany of characters we have never met before.

This is a recurring issue throughout Amityville Karen, which frequently introduces random characters for a scene or two. Karen is typically absent from these scenes, which makes them feel superfluous and unimportant. When the actress is on screen, the film has an anchor and a narrative drive. The scenes without her, on the other hand, feel bloated and directionless (blame editor Will Collazo Jr., who allows these moments to play out interminably).

Compounding the issue is that the majority of the actors are non-professionals and these scenes play like poorly performed improv. The result is long, dull stretches that features bad actors talking over each other, repeating the same dialogue, and generally doing nothing to advance the narrative or develop the characters.

While Karen is one-note and histrionic throughout the film, at least there’s a game willingness to Francesca’s performance. It feels appropriately campy, though as the film progresses, it becomes less and less clear if Amityville Karen is actually in on the joke.

Like Amityville Cop before it, there are legit moments of self-awareness (the Serial Mom references), but it’s never certain how much of this is intentional. Take, for example, Karen’s glaringly obvious wig: it unconvincingly fails to conceal Francesca’s dark hair in the back, but is that on purpose or is it a technical error?

Ultimately there’s very little to recommend about Amityville Karen. Despite the game performance by its lead and the gentle homages to Serial Mom’s prank call and white shoes after Labor Day jokes, the never-ending improv scenes by non-professional actors, the bloated screenplay, and the jittery direction by Phillips doom the production.

Clocking in at an insufferable 100 minutes, Amityville Karen ranks among the worst of the “franchise,” coming in just above Phillips’ other entry, Amityville Hex.

Amityville Karen

The Amityville IP Awards go to…

  • Favorite Subplot: In the afternoon event, there’s a self-proclaimed “hot boy summer” band consisting of burly, bare-chested men who play instruments that don’t make sound (for real, there’s no audio of their music). There’s also a scheming manager who is skimming money off the top, but that’s not as funny.
  • Least Favorite Subplot: For reasons that don’t make any sense, the winery is also hosting a beer tasting which means there are multiple scenes of bartender Alex (Phillips) hoping to bring in women, mistakenly conflating a pint of beer with a “flight,” and goading never before seen characters to chug. One of them describes the beer as such: “It looks like a vampire menstruating in a cup” (it’s a gold-colored IPA for the record, so…no).
  • Amityville Connection: The rationale for Karen’s killing spree is attributed to Amityville wine, whose crop was planted on cursed land. This is explained by vino groupie Annie (Jennifer Nangle) to band groupie Bianca (Lilith Stabs). It’s a lot of nonsense, but it is kind of fun when Annie claims to “taste the damnation in every sip.”
  • Neverending Story: The film ends with an exhaustive FIVE MINUTE montage of Phillips’ friends posing as reporters in front of terrible green screen discussing the “killer Karen” story. My kingdom for Amityville’s regular reporter Peter Sommers (John R. Walker) to return!
  • Best Line 1: Winery owner Dallas (Derek K. Long), describing Karen: “She’s like a walking constipation with a hemorrhoid”
  • Best Line 2: Karen, when a half-naked, bleeding woman emerges from her closet: “Is this a dream? This dream is offensive! Stop being naked!”
  • Best Line 3: Troy, upset that Karen may cancel the wine tasting at his house: “I sanded that deck for days. You don’t just sand a deck for days and then let someone shit on it!”
  • Worst Death: Karen kills a Pool Boy (Dustin Clingan) after pushing his head under water for literally 1 second, then screeches “This is for putting leaves on my plants!”
  • Least Clear Death(s): The bodies of a phone salesman and a barista are seen in Karen’s closet and bathroom, though how she killed them are completely unclear
  • Best Death: Troy is stabbed in the back of the neck with a bottle opener, which Karen proceeds to crank
  • Wannabe Lynch: After drinking the wine, Karen is confronted in her home by Barnaby (Carl Solomon) who makes her sign a crude, hand drawn blood contract and informs her that her belly is “pregnant from the juices of his grapes.” Phillips films Barnaby like a cross between the unhoused man in Mulholland Drive and the Mystery Man in Lost Highway. It’s interesting, even if the character makes absolutely no sense.
  • Single Image Summary: At one point, a random man emerges from the shower in a towel and excitedly poops himself. This sequence perfectly encapsulates the experience of watching Amityville Karen.
  • Pray for Joe: Many of these folks will be back in Amityville Shark House and Amityville Webcam, so we’re not out of the woods yet…

Next time: let’s hope Christmas comes early with 2022’s Amityville Christmas Vacation. It was the winner of Fangoria’s Best Amityville award, after all!

Amityville Karen movie

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