Gwar is Having a War Party and You are Invited

Ok, I am not sure why I am even posting on this as I have no clue on anything about Gwar or even listened to a single song of theirs. I do remember something about a World Maggot or something to that affect back in High School, but that was from this kid that just would not shut up about them. If you lived in Morehead, Kentucky, went to E. Carter High School and was a Gwar fan back in High School (95-96) then I am pointing my finger at you. Luckily, I moved back to Cincinnati that year (not sure why I moved down there for only a year, but that is another story) and haven’t heard anything about Gwar until now. It seems they will be starting a tour soon and want to spread the word. Inside you can find all the information you need, including tour dates, venues and a special E-Card for all you fans. Check it out inside.
Gwar tells us what is going on:

You can check out an E-Card here.

Woe to the Earth! For GWAR is arisen! From the ever-night of their frozen Antarctic abyss, mutant metal marauders GWAR once again stalk the world of man, ready to heave and cleave their way to the throne of utter mastery, a throne perched atop the rotting bodies of a slaughtered and defiled human race.

Newly aligned with the forces of DRT records, none shall stand before the hideous onslaught to be unleashed upon a deserving world. In this election year, GWAR shall give birth to a new political movement, a movement designed to end the war that was begun with GWAR’s classic 2001 release `Violence Has Arrived’ GWAR shall align the Republicans, the Democrats, al-Queda, the K.K.K., and all other divisive factions into one great seething ball of hate, bent on it’s own destruction. This “War Party” advocates the use of all weapons of mass-destruction in the greatest public-service project ever conceived-to burn the planet clean of the pestilence of man. Beneath the banner of “The Krosstika”, GWAR shall nominate Gor-Gor, their pet Tyrannosaurus Rex, to be President of the United Hates, and from there consume all that oppose (or support) their vigorously vicious efforts. All to the soundtrack of the apocalypse–the most spine-shattering, kneecap-splitting, brain-boiling GWAR album ever conceived!

But the way to oblivion isn’t going to be easy. Shadowy enemies, scary clown bands, and merciless war machines are all bent on the destruction of our anti-heroes and everything they hold unholy. 2004 shall see the birth of the ultimate GWAR tour-a series of worldwide War Party campaign rallies designed to mangle the masses, call out their numerous enemies, and reduce your ear drums to sludge! Prepare yourself, human filth, GWAR has returned, and not only are they pissed, they are politically motivated! Vote Gor-Gor!

GWAR’s Line-Up includes:
ODERUS URUNGUS–Throat-thing and two-handed sword
BALSAC THE JAWS OF DEATH–Guitar and bear-trap
JIZMAK THE GUSHA–Drums and brain-clotted club
FLATTUS MAXIMUS–Guitar and colossal gas
BEEFCAKE THE MIGHTY–Bass and massive war-axe
BONESNAPPER THE CAVE TROLL-Huge mace and bad attitude
THE SLAVES OF GWAR-They do all the work
GOR-GOR–Voracious tyrant lizard and Presidential candidate

But where is all this madness coming from? From the indestructible entity known as SLAVE PIT INC., the production company that for the last 18 years has been responsible for the creation of the art and music that has made GWAR an international phenomena. This truly remarkable group of artists and musicians share an uncompromising vision that has influenced, inspired and entertained millions of people worldwide. Unrelenting in their D.I.Y. attitude and always dominating their space on the cutting edge of creative chaos, this year the SLAVE PIT and DRT Records will produce the ultimate GWAR album and show. With no sign of letting up, SLAVE PIT moves towards their 20th anniversary, continuing to pummel the collective consciousness of a world gone mad with the madness of the world. HAIL GWAR!

Here are the dates:

26-Oct Norva Norfolk, VA
27-Oct Spirit Performance Center New York, NY
28-Oct Saratoga Winners Latham, NY
29-Oct Palladium Worcester, MA
30-Oct The State Theatre Portland, ME
31-Oct Electric Factory Philadelphia, PA
2-Nov Club Soda Montreal, QC
3-Nov Capital Music Hall Ottawa, ON
4-Nov Opera House Toronto, ON
5-Nov Harpo’s Detroit, MI
6-Nov Mr. Small’s Theatre Millvale, PA
8-Nov Crowbar State College, PA
12-Nov Canopy Club Urbana, IL
14-Nov Newport Music Hall Columbus, OH
19-Nov First Avenue Minneapolis, MN
20-Nov Pyramid Winnipeg, MB
21-Nov The Roxy Saskatoon, SK
22-Nov Red’s Entertainment Complex Edmonton, AB
23-Nov MacEwan Hall Ballroom Calgary, AB
25-Nov Commodore Ballroom Vancouver, BC
26-Nov Premier Seattle, WA
27-Nov Roseland Theatre Portland, OR
28-Nov Phoenix Theatre Petaluma, CA
29-Nov DNA Lounge San Francisco, CA
1-Dec Marquee Theatre Tempe, AZ
4-Dec Senator Theatre Chico, CA
2-Dec Galaxy Santa Ana, CA
3-Dec Key Club Los Angeles, CA

Source: Gwar