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2011 BLACK FRIDAY CHOPPING LIST: GAMES/TOYS & MERCH

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Who knew that in the digital age of 2011 one of the highest recommended items on the Games/Toys/Merch portion of our Chopping List would be a… board game? But here it is! Don’t worry, we’ve also got your standard issue XBOX and PS3 fixes along with some truly outstanding NECA and Hot Toys collectibles. So get out that credit card, take your blood pressure medication and make the horror nut in your life very happy with something from this eclectic grab-bag.

FILMS & TV | MUSIC | GAME/TOYS & MERCH. | BOOKS & COMICS

Dead Island (XBox, Playstation 3 & PC)

List Price: $59.99/$49.99 (PC)

This one’s kind of a no-brainer (pun semi intended). I hear that some of the melee controls are difficult and that the story is slight, but the gameplay looks beautiful. Any game where you wander an apocalyptic tropical island looking for your wife and blasting away zombie hordes has got to be right for at least one horror fan on your holiday list.

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Rage (XBox, Playstation 3 & PC)

List Price: $59.99

And if they’re looking for something a bit more intense, perhaps Rage is the ticket. Brought to you by the guys who made Doom and Quake and Bethesda (Bioshock) Rage is a whole bunch of shooting, driving and carnage. If there’s any meth heads in your family, this one comes endorsed by Jesse Pinkman of “Breaking Bad” fame. If this game can help him ease his guilty conscience it can take someone’s mind off the holidays no problem.

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Electric Zombie (Clothing)

List Price: Various

Electric Zombie offers a pretty cool array of posters, shirts, hoodies, cinch bags etc… with a wide swath of designs. Shirts starts at around $18 bucks and hoodies only set you back $40. There’s a lot of cool stuff over there so click the link and browse around!

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A Nightmare On Elm Street (NECA Collectibles)

List Price: Various

Man, just look at these things! Any hardcore Nightmare On Elm Street fan would pretty much DIE to have these things. The attention to detail is amazing and I’m not just talking about how the figurine from Freddy’s Revenge has the fingernail knives without the glove, I’m talking about how you can accurately chart the facial makeup progression from the first three films in the detail of these dolls. “Original Freddy” looks straight out of Part 1 and “Dream Warriors Freddy” looks straight out of Part 3 and there *is* a difference.

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Evil Dead 2 (NECA Collectibles Pre-Order)

List Price: Various

These puppies aren’t out yet, but any fan of Ash would just be happy to know that they were reserved and on the way. There’s a few more not pictured here as well, such as the Deer Head and the “Farewell To Arms” Ash. Evil Dead 2 can be watched again and again, it’s a film you pretty much never get tired of seeing. And any fan of the movie will never get tired of seeing these on their shelf.

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Vengeance University (Clothing)

List Price: Various

Vengeance University has a variety of cool shirts for men and women along with some posters and a few other knick-knacks. Their selection seems pretty limited at this point in the game, but if you’re looking for an itch that Electric Zombie hasn’t quite scratched you might want to peruse the aisles of Vengeance University. You might find it.

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Earth Reborn (Board Game)

List Price: $79.99

This one comes highly recommended by a few friends and BD staffers. I’m not sure I quite understand how to describe it properly though, so I’ll let the officials do the work for me.

After 500 years, two factions emerge from their underground cities into a new world, an earth reborn from nuclear disaster. 12 highly detailed miniatures represent the two factions which are norad military in thinking and origins. Scientists, engineers, add to their strength. Salemites, occultists working with cadavers, bringing the dead to life. Soon after emerging, these two factions meet – and it is determined that they can not live together in peace. Earth reborn offers nine scenarios that take you through missions of rescue, retrieval, escort. Through areas of labs, mansions, towns, and more. Each scenario builds upon the rules of a new chapter the game system is built like a tutorial there are core rules to start the game and each chapter offers 1-3 new rules along with a scenario that uses these new rules. The game also contains the innovative S.A.G.S. (Scenario Auto Generating System) where 2-4 players can make their own maps and mission objectives for near infinite replayabiity. Tons of replay value. For 2-4 players. Takes 1-2 hours to play.

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Predators – Classic Design (Hot Toys UK)

List Price: $219.99

You don’t necessarily have to be a fan of Robert Rodriguez’s Predators to get a kick out of these guys. Even if you know a strictly old school “Dutch, Dillon and Mac” type of guy they’re bound to crack a smile while unwrapping one of these ugly mother*ckers. These are a little on the pricy side, so check your bank account – and the fandom of the recipient – before making the leap!

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Batman: Arkham City (XBox, Playstation 3 & PC)

List Price: $59.99/$49.99 (PC)

This is the big game of the fall and by all accounts (sexist dialogue aside) it’s pretty outstanding! If your little bro or sis was in love with Arkham Asylum last year just imagine how much fun they’ll have when they’re let out of the prison and into the city. Lots of side missions and tasks tack on hours of playing time much to the delight (or chagrin) of more OCD gamers.

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Scene It? Horror Movies 2 (iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch)

List Price: Free!

This is just a neat little horror trivia game for you to keep yourself distracted while everyone else opens their presents.

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The Walking Dead (McFarlane Figures)

List Price: $14.99-$34.99

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Todd MacFarlane. “Walking Dead”. That’s a pretty great combo for fans of either (or both). There are lots of fans of the show out there and these toys, while being a little more casually minded than something than a NECA item, are great little trinkets to fill the gap in their lives between seasons.

Batman Legacy (Mattel Figures)

List Price: $14.99 – $29.99

These appear to be more for the younger set. If you’ve got a brother, sister, niece or nephew who love Batman but aren’t old enough to read this site (and maybe not even old enough to not cover their eyes in The Dark Knight) then this is the way to go.

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Bioshock (NECA Collectibles)

List Price: Various

Holy cow. I love the world of Bioshock. I’ve played the game twice and am often tempted to go back just to hang out in Rapture. Even the disappointing gameplay of Bioshock 2 could be compensated by being back in that environment. So if anyone in your family has one of these games on their shelf – chances are they’re a Rapture junkie and will love you forever after getting one of these.

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Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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