SuperHeidi Says ‘Blade: Trinity’ Doesn’t Bite

Contrary to what other websites are posted, three of our writers here at Bloody-Disgusting all enjoyed New Line Cinema’s Blade: Trinity (review #1, #2), which finally hits theaters this upcoming Wednesday. Inside you can read the third review from David Goyer’s film, which stars Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds, Parker Posey and Dominic Purcell.
Blade Trinity:

Written and Directed by: David S. Goyer

Featuring: Kris Kristofferson, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds, Parker Posey, Dominic Purcell, Natasha Lyonne, John Michael Higgins

Review By: SuperHeidi
The third installment of the action-packed comic book-based Blade Films, Blade: Trinity, is just as fun and exciting, if not more so, than its predecessors. It starts off with such a huge rush, force and excitement with a spellbinding action scene that’s its truly exhilarating and refreshing to just walk in to a theatre and just be entertained without a slow, boring attempt at character development or a long, artistic credit sequence. Blade doesn’t screw around; it knows that it’s just an action flick, it’s just a comic book sprung to life, and it’s only a damn vampire movie. It doesn’t waste your time with ridiculous plot ploys or badly written romance scenes. Blade delivers only what it promises; action, fun, and lots of blood. The graphics are incredible, and this is one of those rare films where the CGI looks fantastic. Cool sets and great cinematography certainly add to the appeal of Blade Trinity. It’s a fearless story that doesn’t take itself too seriously, but seriously enough to allow you, the viewer, to jump in your seat a few times. Blade is just what new, young horror fans need.

Trinity pits Blade, the hybrid human/vampire against that most ancient and feared horror icon: Dracula. This is no Bela Lugosi, Frank Langella, or Christopher Lee. He’s not even Gary Oldman. Dominic Purcell’s Dracula is a cross between The Scorpion King and Pumpkinhead. Like Queen of the Damned, Blade Trinity reaches far back into history to explain the origins of vampires. Unlike his predecessors’, Purcell’s Dracula is a fierce warrior who believes in honor, duty, and strength. In essence, he is the perfect match for Blade. New to the game is Abigail Whistler, who plays the reclusive daughter of Blade’s closest ally. Jessica Biel is tough, strong, and surprisingly good in her portrayal of a troubled young woman who is physically and mentally tough. She doesn’t overdo it, and her fight scenes are among the best in the film. Biel really tows the line by standing next to the muscular men in this movie and proves she’s just as believable as a warrior as they are. Ryan Reynolds is Hannibal king, a smoking hot sarcastic maverick who counters Blade’s tough cynicism with sardonic humor. Adding particular spice is Parker Posey, the dark, evil vampiress whose plot to bring Dracula back from his rest comes to fruition. Posey is capable of being really sarcastic and sexy at the same time. Her work in indie films gives her a fresh take on mainstream horror villainesses, and she dominates as the most interesting character in the story. I mean, who doesn’t love evil sexy gothic women who kick with their spiky black leather boots? Snipes himself is the same old Blade: cool as a cucumber, mysterious, and an amazing fighter. Snipes has Blade down: he can portray his anger and his frustration behind those thick black glasses…it’s child’s play to him at this point.

Blade Trinity is chock full of explosions, violence, and some of the most amazing fights. It’s also got a few cheesy one-liners, and some of the most attractive vampire hunters in the world. I have to wonder, when does Blade find the time to keep his intricate facial hair perfectly trimmed, and how come Ryan Reynolds is the most attractive maverick weirdo in the world? Has anyone mentioned to Hannibal King, or Abigail Whistler, that there’s a lot more money in modeling than in vampire hunting? Whatever their reasons, they certainly look the part of the comic heroes they portray. There is also an incredibly cliché DNA/virus plotline; it’s the 21st century solution to vampires. After the idea of the virus has been neaten to death (28 Days later, Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead 2004) in horror flicks lately, I would have hoped that they would have come up with something different…alas, the second half of the film gives way to the cheesy storyline that pretty much goes nowhere…but the fights, special effects, and vampires are still pretty cool. There is also a gratuitous shower scene, and several prerequisite “look I’m putting on my leather cat suit” shots, a la Batman.

I can’t help but point out the parallels to The Matrix that I saw in Blade. The maverick, rag tag team of vampire hunters hide in a lair, plotting to free humans from the grasp of the vampires. The vampires use humans like cattle. Most of humanity is ignorant of their plight; only the team (who call themselves the Night Stalkers) can stop them. It also reminds me, on many levels, of Queen of the Damned (as in, if Queen of the Damned hadn’t been so awful).

What it comes down to is this: Blade is cool. There’s just no other way to say it. Abigail Whistler is cool. Humans have terrible aim with guns, except for Abigail and Blade. And last, the climactic fight scene between Blade and Dracula really delivers. If you can look past the fact that this film is basically a cartoon, and just enjoy the violence, blood, and action, then Blade is an amazing two hours well spent.

8/10 stars