[BD Caption Contest] You Guys Are Really Bringing It Now! New Contest Announced!
![Tom Jane Caption 51312 [BD Caption Contest] You Guys Are Really Bringing It Now! New Contest Announced!](http://cdn.bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Tom_Jane_Caption_51312.jpg "Tom_Jane_Caption_51312")
Holy cow guys! I really regret only offering one prize last week because all of you stepped up your game! In P90X terms, “you brought it!” I has such a hard time choosing. Sadly – there can be only one winner for last week’s contest.
First Prize – Winner is xxxwolf666 with “Thomas Jane was fired from his job as professional race-starter when he became emotionally compromised.” They win a DVD/Blu-Ray Combo Pack of Darren Lynn Bousman’s Mother’s Day. xxxwolf666, please DM me your US mailing address (no PO boxes) for the prize. On to this week’s contest.
Rules:
1. We pick a still from a movie. It’s included after the jump. You head to the comments section and submit your best one-liners, zingers, pathos riddled couplets etc…
2. You can enter as many times as you like and submit as many captions as you want, but each caption must be in a separate comment. Otherwise it will be too hard to tell where one caption ends and the other begins. Your entries can be posted anytime during the first five days after the still is announced (you don’t want to submit your winning zinger after we’ve picked the winner). Also any racist, sexist, homophobic or generally hateful jokes will be disqualified. You don’t have to be insanely PC – just use your best judgement.
3. We pick the winner and announce them and their winning caption when the next photo in the contest is posted. We will address you by your BD Infected name. You can then DM me your address and I will send you your prize in a timely manner (i.e. you should have it in about a week). You must be a US resident to receive your prize!
This weeks prizes are:
First Prize Blu-ray Copy Of The Mimic Trilogy.
Second Prize Blu-ray Copy Of The Devil Inside.
Head inside for this week’s picture!
![The Shining Caption 51312 [BD Caption Contest] You Guys Are Really Bringing It Now! New Contest Announced!](http://cdn.bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/The_Shining_Caption_51312.jpg "The_Shining_Caption")
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“Just saw The Avengers.”
“And it was better than expected!”
Jack Nickelson’s lost auditon footage as Jess Weixler’s body double for “Teeth”
“Oh really? You thought Heath Ledger was a better Joker? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (joker laugh)
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!!!!
“Who’s the pretty girl in the mirror there!”
BEEP BEEP Richie! They ALL float down here. When you’re down here with us, you’ll float too!
this just in: jack nicholson to star in the remake of “Home Alone”
Kiss me, fat boy!
Jacks reaction to 2 guys 1 horse
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me tonight.
This is my “O” face
I’m the king of the world!
Tell Steven Weber to kiss my ASS!!!!!
What’s a snookie?
Avengers… Avengers… Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a team dressed up in ridiculous outfits gets all of the box office? This town needs an enema!
Bartender: So Jack, what’ll it be?
Jack: I’ll just have a drizzle of ‘Olive Oyl’
Is that crazy enough for ya’? Want me to take a shit on the floor?
I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good good night
“BOOM, and there goes the dynamite!”
Jack Torrance, after watching A Serbian Film.
Welcome to Chuck E. Cheese! Please follow me to your table!
I’m a Toys ‘r Us Kid!
Kiss my ass with this Spongebob crap! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is and always be the superior children’s cartoon!
You posted a pic of Thomas Jane before me, The Great Jack Nicholson? How dare you!
And you thought RP McMurphy was crazy!
I just saved 15% or more on car insurance!
Did I get nominated for an Oscar?
Don’t you wanna give your son a hug on Mother’s Day, mom?
“Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?”
”YOU’RE GONNA KILL THAT POOR WOMAN?”
”FUCK IT DUDE LETS GO BOWLING”
Flapjacks!
Her name is Wendy. Yea, I don’t know what I was thinking about when I married her.
OMG i cant believe its not butter
“Do you see Wendy, if you go to the dentist your teeth can be as nice as mine”.
Well, hi there. Welcome to my happy place.
I CAN’T FEEL MY FACE #cocaine
Hodor!
“Do you think I need Colgate?”
I don’t know what you mean by fake moon landing Lloyd!
The hotel just wanted a good picture of itself for the latest brochure. Unfortunately its newest caretaker had a bit of a silly side.
I don’t even know what I’m doing!
Grady: Jack, please! We need at least one good photo. For Danny.
“I’m ready for my Money Shot Mr Demille.”
WOW!!! Having this chick’s mouth sewn to my ass don’t feel as bad as it looked in that movie!!!!
I’m tripping balls man!
“I laugh at this years Academy Awards nominations!”
His reaction to thinking about his tub scene with Kathy Bates. he just can’t take “Misery” seriously anymore.
OMG MOMMY IT’S THE WIGGLES! I WANNA GO!
Posing for pictures makes Jack an odd boy
What the hell is that bear doing
Hey Lloyd, can you guess my next film
Wait…so you aren’t my sister?
I can’t believe you fell for it!
I’m wasted!
Did they pay you to screw that bear?
I have a lot of vanity.
did you enjoy that?
Look MA! I’m ontop of the World!
I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT!
. . . I like the Tin Man
I like your face! May I . . . try it on?
Stickers and ponies and myspace.com!!!
I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
Push honey push honey I can see the heads twins girls FUCK!!!! Leave the room…
leaves the room
I wanna rock and roll all night!!!!
The female orgasm I’ve discovered it!!!
What do you mean the only beer you serve is Zima !
Now I’m just somebody that you used to know!
I’m gonna do what with Kathy Bates in a hotub in the future.
Sir I am Jack F***ing Nicholson not Michael Ironside
What you don’t know is that he’s watching Pound Puppies.
I had some of Hopper’s Acid from Easy Rider left over…sweeeeeeet…
I was in Tommy and Little Shop Of Horrors I got this karaoke trophy in the bag.
No I don’t have a degree in business I just stayed at a holiday inn express last night!
I boned Aunt Bea While i was on The Andy Griffith Show…Opie watched.
Jack was astounded at the prices for the Overlook Hotel mini-bar, the Bates Motel prices are much cheaper
“Mixing Ambien, ExLax, and Viagra might not have been a good idea!”
Jack…your not the father.
HAHAHA! Whoo… that Schindler dude is a RIOT!
He wasn’t expecting a prostate exam when the doctor told him to say AHHH….
“I didn’t know it would go ALL the way in!!!”
MTV stands for “Music” television? Hahahahaha!
Lockjaw dammit Lockjaw!
Great news, my wife just died. By me.
Come join me for my new class BJ 101. With me Jack As I teach you the wonders of giving head. Open to men and women.
So this is the face everybody makes when watching american idol?
Hey If you go to Jack’s Youtube page you can listen to him sing Shiny Happy People
Everyone has a little captain in them and sometimes they have a little too much… Drink Responsibly
Can you say happy hour I SAID CAN YOU SAY HAPPY HOUR MOTHER FUCKER!!!
I don’t often drink but when I do I scare my family.
And I says to the guy I says ….
Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!!!
“wanna hear the most annoying sound ever? ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn”
Down to the ground…….cocaine!
me-”hey jack!? do i have a small penise?”
jack-”hahahahahahahahahahahaha”
me-”so…that a yes or no?”
jack-”hahahahahahahahahaha”
The Walking Dead is amazing!
They are remaking what?
“i had sex with the old lady in the tub! yahhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
“Okay Jack, that was perfect. Really feeling the terror in your acting, but this time, I want you to do it happier and with your mouth open.”
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: The Lost Tapes
*Nicholson’s picture message reply to being offered a role in the ‘Twilight’ series*
This is Bob. He just received his free trial of Enzyte male enhancement supplements.
Even Jack Nicholson thinks Evans shitty winner picks are insane!
yeeeaaaa. i remember the first time i was introduced to mason moore’s talent also.
Runner-up gets The Devil Inside?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Beer and Viagra don’t mix!
“I still believe in Global Warming. Do you?”
Oops, I’m Canadian. Don’t pick me.
“Oh SHIT, I remember now!! Freeway! The Dog from Hart to Hart was named Freeway!”
So these are the winning captions…HA
“Iiiiiiiiiii….f your happy and you know it clap your hands.”
“Iiiiiii…f you’re crazy and you know it kill your wife.”
“I’m a Goofy Goober YEAH!”
“AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!”
the 1.st picture from the movie mist a very good movie. This picture view inside the car after a shoot out comes to the end of the movie.
I love you,
You love me,
We’re a happy family…
Jack’s back as the new Mr. Rogers.
Jack Nicholsen as the new face of Colorado’s Department of Tourism.
I just have a V-8 …
“Mooooooonnnnn river!”
(Fletch)
Even Jack Nicholson gets excited when his hotel room has free porn.
“PHIL, HEY PHIL?…….PHILL CONNORS I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU…………………….NED, NED RYERSON!”
You’re shitting me… A SEQUEL TO THE SHINING?!?
Somebody just turned their frown upside down.
…Then I showed her my “O” face…
“How many times did I tell you, your face would stay like that!”
“And they said I couldn’t sing, much less carry a tune… LAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”
Open mouth. Insert penis.
He just opened his X-mas present to find an N64.
Jack’s gay face.
There a ghost behind him giving him a reach-around.
He’s laughing at the guy crying with the gun.
Auditioning for the Joker
buuuurrrrrrppppp!
fart! Thank you Jesus!
oh my what a lovely bunch of coconuts
Smile Your On Candid Camera!
The moment immediately following the bartender telling Jack that we will someday have a female president…
“That’s called a uvula Jack,…Everybody’s got one.”
“Now, there’s nothing wrong with a little French Kissing between friends.”
“I have a cavity that could use some filling.” Wink-wink.
First you put on the bear suit, then you do this…
“What?… You mean all this time I’ve been holding a conversation with a screen capture from a movie?” Are you serious?… That’s f**ked-up.”
So when they asked me to play Dick Tracy, I said to the guys – listen, guys, I’d be more than happy to play Dick, but only if Tracy’s a married woman… HA!
So…What do you call the act?
The ARISTOCRATS!!!!
HOOOOAH!!!! Wait, that’s Pacino’s line. HAOOOOH!!!!! See what I did there.
“The Mimic Trilogy? Who in their right mind would try to win this?”
“Life’s a happy song–when there’s someone by your side to sing along…”
Jack Nicholson auditions for Glee.
“Rectum, almost KILLED him!”
“And then I swapped Heath’s sleeping tablets for Cyanide…”
Jack sings the hits – Today he croons Justin Bieber’s hit “Baby”(featuring Ludacris) as Ludacris!
“See mom, I told you I didn’t get that tongue ring (yet)”
Jack, that guy just said your wife was pretty!
“Seriously, Jack, Is this how you feel about the movie’s family appeal?”
Excuse me Lloyd, where’s Johnny?
“I Said, I’m not gonna hurt ya….IM JUST GONNA BASH YOUR BRAINS IN.”
“Hello Neighbor”
Yall’ need ta’ HIDE’JA kiiiids, and hide’ja yo wives, causejackbekillineverybody out here.
Ha Ha! I just soiled my drawers!
Jack’s reaction after hearing President Obama announce that he supports gay marriage
Looks like Jack got the happy ending Travolta was asking for.
Here’s Johnny!
Catching Flys
Flies
“I’m Just One Big F*cking Ray of Sunshine, aren’t I?!”
“Because I’m good enough…I’m smart enough…and doggonit, people like me!”
Error 37 and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
“I’m so high right now!”
“I’m trying to suck my own d*ck, but I can’t reach!”
“You can’t handle the truth!”
There is an Anger Management tv show and they didnt ask me to join?
Cocaine is a helluva drug
My wife and kid bought the act! I’m a free man!!!
Writers block. It happens to the best of us.
I’m…so…angry
You wouldn’t like me when “i’m all work and no play”
Enzyte: the effective, reliable way to natural male enhancement!
great work guys! Contest is now closed and I will announce the winner tomorrow!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I’m going to kill my family HAHAHAAAAAAAA!
Still winning!
Ugh…can’t believe my only attempt here was a Charlie Sheen reference.
Oops, too late. Honestly, I couldn’t think of any good captions for that picture. It’s kinda sad. I miss that Jack Nicholson.
Can you preface all contests from now on with a “No ‘I should’ve had a v-8′ policy”? I think it’s an overused card that should be taken out of the deck. According to these caption contests, we should all be drinking V-8. Yes, more vegetables in our diet is a good thing, but in my opinion, V-8 juice is not the best option. It has a buttload of sodium in it. It’s better to eat fresh vegetables, or to juice them yourself, rather than to buy a processed canned drink. Rather than writing “Should’ve had a V-8″, we should be writing “Should’ve eaten healthy and exercised properly.”
I think I need to add a no “two girls one cup” policy. The best jokes in that vein have already been done.
YES. And “O face”.
I’d prefer “Where’s the beef?” over “Should’ve had a v-8!”
“Wazzzzzzzzzzzup!” is even better. Slightly less shitty at least.
If the next picture is of a man wasting away from scurvy, “should’ve had a v-8″ is acceptable.
Or an orange.
Surprised no one said smile where you got it last Jack.
The eyes are the window to the soul(while laughing maniacally)
I fell into the burning ring of fire, went down down down and the flames went higher and it burns burns burns, the ring of fire.
“You want me to be on Dancing with the STARS???”