B-D Reviews: ‘A Perfect Getaway’, Write Your Own Review!

Now in theaters everywhere is Rogue Pictures’ A Perfect Getaway, a mixed bag that’s sure to divide audiences. “That’s what’s so confusing about David Twohy’s A Perfect Getaway, it appears to attempt to be clever and original, only it ends up being one of the most obvious thrillers I’ve seen in years… and the audience ate it up.” Click the title for Mr. Disgusting’s full review or read on for David Harley’s thoughts. Don’t forget to write your own review to tell all of Bloody-Disgusting what YOU thought of David Twohy’s latest genre pic.(SPOILERS BELOW)

It’s been five years since director David Twohy unleashed his last project, The Chronicles of Riddick, a fun but lesser film than Pitch Black. As evident from his last three films (the two aforementioned and Below, a film about strange happenings in a WWII submarine), Twohy has proved that he can craft tense and atmospheric sequences, as well being more than capable of directing good action sequences.; essentially, everything that should be included in a thriller. So it comes to my great surprise that his latest, A Perfect Getaway, is not only boring but also so self-aware and obvious that EVERYONE is going to feel like Nostradamus by the time the third act rolls around – and this is coming from a guy who never saw a trailer for the film, nor any of the TV commercials that boast a completely unpredictable ending.

Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich star as Cliff and Cydney, a newlywed couple on their Hawaiian honeymoon. Not content with merely hanging out on the mainland, they get special permits to hike through the mountains and jungle to a secluded beach. To throw a kink in their getaway plans, there’s a killing duo on the loose, butchering newlyweds on Honolulu. Initially convinced that they’re safe enough traveling through the smaller island, suspicions begin to arise as they travel with Nick (Timothy Olyphant) and Gina (Kiele Sanchez) – Nick tells exaggerated, violent war stories and is basically a metrosexual mountain man – and are followed by Kale and Cleo, a disgruntled couple whose appearances might or might not be deceiving. Thus begins the inevitable pointing of fingers.

Right from the opening credits, the film manages to botch any sense of mystery it could’ve had going for it. After an opening credit sequence that all but shouts who the killers are in your face, their identities become ever more obvious after Nick begins talking film with Cliff, who’s a screenwriter. Second act twists, death defying acts and red herrings – Nick calls them “red snappers”; it’s supposed to be funny or something – are discussed numerous times, which can only mean that they’ll all pop up at some point. And since Gina keeps mentioning that Nick is “really hard to kill,” you can expect that too.

Once the characters realize who the killers are (which pretty much everyone will have figured out from the marketing beforehand, which is horrendous), the only thing you’ll be left wondering is why they didn’t just throw away their camera or delete their photos. Getting rid of incriminating evidence is what smart people would do, but since the movie is dull and stupid, I guess it makes sense that the killers wouldn’t be too bright either. But if there was one positive thing I could say about the reveal, it was that it made Jovovich’s slightly over-the-top performance more tolerable, considering she was supposed to be high the entire film. However, it didn’t help anyone else’s acting chops, which sadly range from mediocre to slightly above Razzie worthy.

Though filled with breathtaking locations and a few instances of great cinematography, A Perfect Getaway is one of the boring and obvious thrillers in recent memory. If Twohy wasn’t so busy trying to be clever with screenwriting 101 terminology in his script, maybe he would’ve spent more time making a tense film that had actual twists and turns. If a film is going to be obvious, the journey getting to the third act should at least be entertaining and Rogue’s latest genre offering fails on almost every level, making it an imperfect getaway from the lame thriller trends of today.

Score: 1.5/5

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