[BD Caption Contest] Four Winners Get Prizes In This Week’s Contest!

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The First Prize winner this week is erck1 (please DM me your US mailing address to receive your Deadly Predators Prize Pack that includes a Jersey Shore Shark Attack Blu-ray, A Piranha 3DD Blu-ray combo pack (3D Blu-ray, Blu-ray, DVD, & Digital Copy and a Bait 3D Blu-ray combo pack (3D Blu-ray, Blu-ray and DVD).

Our new prize is The Loved Ones on Blu! We have four copies to give away so next week we will be announcing winners (and displaying the memes) for 1st-4th place! Get cracking!

Head inside to see the runner up for last week’s contest and to start this week’s contest!.

Our runner up is BornVillain. Sadly last week’s contest had no prize for runner-up (even though this new week has three runner-up prizes) On to this week’s contest!

Rules:

1. We pick a still from a movie. You head to the comments section and submit your best one-liners, zingers, pathos riddled couplets etc…

2. You can enter as many times as you like and submit as many captions as you want, but each caption must be in a separate comment. Otherwise it will be too hard to tell where one caption ends and the other begins. Your entries can be posted anytime after the still is announced – just be sure to check that I haven’t announced that the contest is closed in the comments (you don’t want to submit your winning zinger after we’ve picked the winner). Also any racist, sexist, homophobic or generally hateful jokes will be disqualified. You don’t have to be insanely PC – just use your best judgement. Try and keep it brief! It has to fit on the photo now!

3. We pick the winner and announce them and their winning caption when the next photo in the contest is posted. We will address you by your BD Infected name. You can then DM me your US mailing address (no PO boxes) and I will send you your prize in a timely manner (i.e. you should have it in a couple of weeks). You must be a US resident to receive your prize!

 
Source: Bloody Disgusting
  • rockintom

    What’s in your wallet!

    • kamiladamiec

      If shes lucky…she’ll get to see my oh face….OhhhOhhh

      • kamiladamiec

        At least I was’nt in a horrible remake

  • rockintom

    Don’t let the su- u -un go down on meeee…

  • we are the strange

    Goddamn spaceship gps. This isn’t Costa Rica.

  • KeepDoubting

    If anyone needs some help, I’d love to lend a hand.

  • BornVillian

    That was a close one. Is my hair ok?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=646643034 Gavin Davies

    I’m telling you dude, that freaking fish was THIS big!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=646643034 Gavin Davies

    Goodness Gracious, Great balls of fire!!

  • WalkingDeadGuy

    Been told I’d be great for the NOES sequel cause I’m a dead ringer for Jackie Earle Haley. I’m gonna need a bigger glove though.

  • WalkingDeadGuy

    “This was my reaction when they told me I got the part of ‘creature #4′.”

  • BornVillian

    Does anybody have a band-aid?!

  • Alex Brookshire

    Dude, put your arm back on. One of us is about to turn into the thing

  • kholden622

    Don’t you EVER put your finger there again!!

  • BornVillian

    Set fire to the rain, check. Watched it burn, check. Now who’s going to let me touch their face?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=646643034 Gavin Davies

    Seriously not cool farting, man!! My mouth was open and everything!

  • Seth_Adams

    MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT YOU SON OF A BITCH!

  • romanthemysterian

    For the love of God, someone get me someone get me my hand cream!

  • romanthemysterian

    This is what happens when I don’t moisturize!

  • Dr.-Re-Animator

    Where’s the beef?

  • egaltt23

    My other hand isn’t strong enough. You take my little hand! (Scary Movie 2 :D)

  • grayghost

    That’s the last time I make jazz hands in a biker bar.

  • grayghost

    Holy Shit That’s tight!

  • grayghost

    Show of hands if you think Obamas getting reelected.

  • russellg79

    This side of my hand is for caressing, the other side is for correcting.

  • russellg79

    to the two assholes in the back… A LITTLE HELP HERE!

  • russellg79

    LEMME’ SEE YOUR WAR FACE!

  • russellg79

    Hey guys, smell my finger.

  • Psycrow

    My hands are doing that Thing again!

  • Trixxxster

    Oh yeah, let’s see you try to masturbate with these things!

  • Trixxxster

    Really, you’ll hold my BK double cheeseburger for me? That’s awesome!

  • Trixxxster

    Could be worse. . .I could have diabeetus.

  • misfit61104

    Now that’s hot sauce!

  • misfit61104

    I’m never asking Howie Mandel to use his soap again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mike.fightmaster Mike Fightmaster

    Oh no!!!! I suck using my right hand!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mike.fightmaster Mike Fightmaster

    Well, I guess I’m going to miss five dollar footlongs this month….

  • Widowmaker

    What do you mean we’re out of toilet paper!?

  • Mr.Mirage

    Now I must find out who my friends truly are…

    …for I must drop a deuce after burritos. WHO’S WITH ME HERE?

  • daruckus

    Maybe now you’ll listen when I tell you your plate is hot!

  • daruckus

    Does anybody have any gloves?

  • daruckus

    You can sit in the corner while the rest of us build snowmen.

  • bub4president2012

    If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.

  • Disgusterling

    How dare you accuse me of sticking my arm down the garbage disposal again!

  • bub4president2012

    Dawn Plus Hand Renewal Dish Soap….Now made in China.

  • bub4president2012

    Now with overly scrubbing bubbles.

  • bub4president2012

    “I’m a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys… we’re a different breed.”

  • Alex Brookshire

    Go get my boomstick!

  • cunninsa

    Dayman….ah ah ahhhhhh!

  • Zombie-Killa

    The 2011 remake??? For the love of god, turn it off! TURN IT OFF!!!

  • Zombie-Killa

    Shit, technically it was a prequel so for my new submission:

    The 2011 prequel??? For the love of God, Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!!!

  • decimated

    It’s a boy!

  • decimated

    Its human!

  • decimated

    That ass was like this big!

  • decimated

    She said she was 18!

  • decimated

    There’s no toilet paper!

  • Joey_Redballs

    The shocking truth about masturbation!

  • decimated

    What the fuck you want?!

  • decimated

    They made a premake?!

  • Joey_Redballs

    I GOT THESE CHEEZ-BURGERS!

  • Joey_Redballs

    Look guys! It’s so cold I can see my breath.

  • decimated

    They said leave it, They said it wouldn’t hurt, they said.

  • decimated

    LOUD NOISES!!!!

  • decimated

    The premake was good!

  • decimated

    Is that Kurt Russel?!

  • decimated

    Why doesn’t your hand look like mine?!

  • decimated

    Can’t a Alien get some privacy?!

  • decimated

    Let me use my strong hand!

  • decimated

    Your moma is so fat, when i pulled my hand out it looked like this!

  • decimated

    I don’t have the smallest clue why she left?1

  • decimated

    Ghosts!?

  • decimated

    Your human?!

  • decimated

    She slipped and fell, I swear!

  • Joey_Redballs

    GUYS! HELP! Help me get my iPhone5 out of this wood chipper! I dropped it. It might be okay, right?

  • decimated

    YES IT WAS ME, I FARTED.

  • decimated

    PICK ME, PICK ME!

  • decimated

    What do you mean she wasn’t pregnant?!

  • decimated

    I dropped my keys!

  • decimated

    Wasn’t that funny?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • decimated

    You no love me? YOU NO LOVE ME?!

  • decimated

    I only had a drink, give me the keys!

  • decimated

    What you mean I won’t be in the sequel?!

  • decimated

    Those aren’t my drugs!

  • decimated

    Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!

  • decimated

    Its my birthday!

  • decimated

    I’m the loved one!

  • decimated

    You really think I can sing?!

  • J.E.Knight

    Would somebody PLEASE scratch my nose!

  • decimated

    What contest?! HOW DO I WIN?!

  • decimated

    How many pugs do you have?!

  • decimated

    How about you stop shouting?

  • J.E.Knight

    I thought you told me that it would only cause HAIR to grow on my palm!

  • decimated

    I seemed to have pooped my self!

  • J.E.Knight

    So NOW you tell me that the lotion was bad…

  • decimated

    He said take the red pill, he said.

  • decimated

    That wasn’t lotion?!

  • decimated

    What’s wrong with my hands?!

  • decimated

    Where is my nail clippers?!

  • decimated

    The internet? WTF is the internet?!

  • decimated

    What do you mean you cant find the box to my mail order wife?! How do I return her now!

  • J.E.Knight

    My mom said I would just go blind! She never said anything about this!

  • james.pledger

    Never high five Leatherface, ever!

  • Widowmaker

    Oh just great a freaking hangnail.

  • flesheater24

    I try out for and X-men movie.
    Sadly I lost

  • flesheater24

    LUCYYYYY I”M HOMEEEEEEEEEEE

  • flesheater24

    This is why wife left me.
    I had fucking things growing out me

  • flesheater24

    Puberty is a real bitch these days

  • Margoo1977

    OMG! My shadow puppets are going to be AWESOME!

  • thebogeymaniscoming

    They said I’d save 15% or more on car insurance by switching Geico!!!

  • MachetAY

    Mother said I would only go blind.

  • MachetAY

    The 4th Tenor

  • MachetAY

    Why do you care so much MacReady? You’re bangin’ Goldie Hawn.

  • MachetAY

    Dude… you’re just Captain Ron without the tan.

  • MachetAY

    For the last time…. “I AM NOT CHRIS ELLIOTT”

  • DexterAHS

    Look at me, I’m doing the Taylor Swift “I can’t believe I won face.”

  • Evgeniy

    - Rock! Paper! Scirrors!

    - WTF??!

    - It’s “THING”. Beats all.

  • BeRightBack

    MY ERECTION LASTED LONGER THAN 4 HOURS!
    I SHOULD’VE GOTTEN IMMEDIATE HELP!!!!

  • porcupinetheater

    French fries! Get your hot sauce drenched french fries here!

  • IGETIGETBLOODY

    IT’S GLORIOUS!

  • porcupinetheater

    What the hell do you mean I could’ve saved 15% or more on my car insurance?

  • porcupinetheater

    What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?

  • secretsquirrely

    Come at me bro!

  • secretsquirrely

    iPhone 5 has a bigger screen?!

  • secretsquirrely

    Merry Christmas, Motherfucker!

  • secretsquirrely

    Allow me to sing you the song of my people.

  • secretsquirrely

    I can’t believe it’s not butter!

  • Disgusterling

    What do you mean we can’t roast weenies on my fingers?!

    • purplek

      Daddy would you like some sausage? Daddy would you like some saus-ag-es? (haha Freddy got fingered bro)

  • purplek

    Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
    Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me,
    FOR MEEEEEEE!! (Dude totally looks like he’s singing Queen haha)

  • KnightOfTears

    Figarooooo….Figarooooo, Figarooooooooooooooo…..OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

  • JayAbad

    Guys, I know how this looks…
    But I can explain!

  • JayAbad

    And this little piggy went to…
    WTF?!?!?!

  • JayAbad

    Ummm…
    Not it!

  • JayAbad

    Trust me, guys
    My hands have ALWAYS looked this way!

  • JayAbad

    Soooo…
    HEY! Do you guys think MacReady could be the Thing?

  • JayAbad

    If you think THIS is bad,
    Somebody help me with my zipper!

  • JayAbad

    I’m a firin’ mah lazer!

  • jonnyboy223

    oh no! my acting career is over before it even started

  • jonnyboy223

    can somebody give me a goddamn hand!!

  • dermacka

    rhubarb anybody?

  • Alex Brookshire

    We’re you expecting, uh, the ninja turtles

  • theforgottenartist

    The girls…. THEY NEVER SHOWED UP!!!!

  • Trioxin83

    Figaro… Figaro… Figaro… Figaro… Figaro!!!

  • Trioxin83

    Ermahgerd!!! I’m thur Therng!!

  • JayAbad

    This is what you get when you spill paint in THE THING’S garage!

  • Trioxin83

    Come on Bennings, it’s time to give Lady Gaga her hands back.

  • JayAbad

    You told me this meat was KOSHER!!!

  • Trioxin83

    My stomach was making the rumblies…that only hands could satisfy. CAAAARRRRRrrrrlllllll….

  • JayAbad

    Let me introduce you to the REAL shocker!

  • JayAbad

    I think we can all agree…
    Next year, we vacation in the Bahamas.

  • zombiereign

    Mom said I’d grow hair on my palms, but this is ridiculous!

  • 28DonutsLater

    Not my ding dong!

  • goasklucy

    Conan was right, this pasta-shellfish this sucks!

  • goasklucy

    Conan was right, this pasta-shellfish thing sucks!

  • 28DonutsLater

    MacReady,tell everyone the wieners are done!

  • Blackheart77

    The Thing 2011…..Noooooooo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003226055711 Steven Byers

    That’s a nice way to pay for college.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003226055711 Steven Byers

    That’s a great* way to pay for college.

  • halloweenlee

    Not only does he sing, he’s the best piano player around!

  • Jordan

    Hey R.J. Does this look like frostbite?

  • Jordan

    Devon Sawa tried to warn me about this

  • b.i.34

    “Side effects of masturbat-sin”
    WHY ME LORD?! We’re the hairy palms not enough…?!

  • horror_geek1331

    Mama said I’d grow HAIRY palms!!

  • b.i.34

    “Side effects of masturbat-sin”
    WHY ME LORD?! Were the hairy palms not enough…?!

  • b.i.34

    guys! guys! i’m auditioning for BRING IT ON…the musical!!
    how’s my SPIRIT FINGERS?

    • JillKills

      This might be the funniest one on here. Scrolling through many of these this was definitely one that stuck out the most.

  • b.i.34

    “WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IMAGE DEPICTS POTENTIAL SIDE EFFECTS OF CONTINUED EXPOSURE TO CHIK-FIL-A. EAT WITH CAUTION”

    • JillKills

      Oh wait nope, never mind now it’s a tie between these two. I either one of these wins it!

  • b.i.34

    im balding, im ugly, and now i can’t even use the one thing that women wanted me for…just shoot me.

  • MR.-TERRIFIC

    HEY, STEVE, GOT ANY LOTION UP THERE?

  • MR.-TERRIFIC

    A NEW SET OF HANDS, NOW I CAN PRETEND THERE’S TWO DIFFERENT CHICKS GIVING ME A HANDY

  • gwally

    Madge, bring the Palmolive!

  • JayAbad

    The jig is up.
    It appears I’ve been caught, red-tentacle slimy humanoid handed.

  • JayAbad

    It lasted longer than 4 hours. I decided watching ‘The View’ would work better than going to the doctor…
    AND THEN THIS HAPPENED!!!

  • JayAbad

    Does this mean you guys aren’t taking me with you to Starbuck’s?
    THING WANTS PUMPKIN SPICE FRAPPUCCINO!!!

  • spabbster

    jeremy beadle eat your heart out

  • spabbster

    check out my poker face it better than my poker hand

  • Erebus Dirge

    Goddamn those Catholic Girls and their High-Explosive Chasity-belts!

  • flesheater24

    MERRYYY X-MASSSSSSS!!!!
    Oh your jewish nevermine

  • flesheater24

    She was going to offer head.
    Until she saw some my hand

  • Erebus Dirge

    Shit ! my compulsive hand-washing is beginning to get out of control!

  • Erebus Dirge

    Gimmie some skin.. no .. high five ! Fuck it, never mind.

  • Alex Brookshire

    Worst July 4th ever!

  • jesuseatspaste

    Let’s build a snowman, we can make him our best friend!

  • FarmerWaits

    How was I supposed to know the difference between American and European electrical outlets?????

  • DeadManZombieFan

    Bitch!? You stepped on my hand!

  • DeadManZombieFan

    Children. Do Not Play With Fireworks

  • jesuseatspaste

    Well there must have been some magic in that old… Oh SHIT!

  • DeadManZombieFan

    my hand got caught in the garbage disposer. but don’t worry im ok.

  • jesuseatspaste

    I thought you said the e-brake WAS engaged!

  • jesuseatspaste

    I am the yo-yo master!

  • jesuseatspaste

    Paddycake anyone?

  • jesuseatspaste

    College Prank #169
    Hand cream replaced with Nair

  • jesuseatspaste

    This fall on FOX
    Hell’s Kitchen: Armageddon

  • TheDoctor

    Thinking about anal sex… THINK AGAIN!

  • TheDoctor

    AHHHH IT TOUCHED ME… JUSTIN BIEBER TOUCHED ME!

    • JillKills

      funnnyyyy

  • Fickle14

    OK! I’ll tell you what I want! What I really really want!

  • Fickle14

    Tell me what you want! What you really really want!

  • cold-indrid

    I am here to CHEW BUBBLEGUM!

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.halsey.98 Andrew Halsey

    This is what happens when Arby Sauce gets on your skin

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.halsey.98 Andrew Halsey

    I knew I should have reached down that badger den

  • cold-indrid

    2 Bucks for a blowjob

  • Pdr714

    Don’t tell me I left the oven on.

  • thezombieepidemic

    Does CGI hurt? I DONT WANT TO BE CGI!

  • tendrill

    I’m okay, it’s just a flesh wound.

  • thezombieepidemic

    Does CGI hurt? PLEASE DONT LET IT TURN ME INTO CGI!

  • thezombieepidemic

    No Mr. Brimley, I dont think its the diabetus.

  • cold-indrid

    Let’s just sit here and scream a while

  • RossRomero

    Used BenGay after taking a shower; MY SKIN WAS STILL WET!!!!

  • RossRomero

    Beat MacReady in Chess: HE DOUSED MY HANDS IN ACID!!!!

  • FAAIID

    Holy Shit! The McRib is back!

  • Disgusterling

    I’ll tell you what, I’m never going back to THAT place for a manicure!

  • miradotheblack

    Look Look

    I’m a chu chu train.

  • miradotheblack

    WUUU

    TANNNNGGGGGGG!

  • miradotheblack

    With Carhart Jackets,

    Even freakhands stay warm.

  • miradotheblack

    At least it draws focus from

    his male pattern baldness

  • miradotheblack

    Lady Gaga’s

    new music video

  • miradotheblack

    He is upset.

    He broke a nail on his 5th pinkie.

  • miradotheblack

    I hope that is not

    his ‘O’ face.

  • miradotheblack

    Record The new ‘Dancing with the Stars’

    on my TIIII VOOOOOOO

  • miradotheblack

    Chicken Teriyaki is ready,

    Who is hungry, WHOOO!???

  • matt.kimmel.9

    My parents were always telling me if I kept playing with it I’d go blind, but they never said anything about this!

  • pyrepunk

    Oh No this didn’t happen when I played Silent Hill!

  • Slacker2387

    They’re replacing me…with CGI?

  • eyes_only510

    MARCO!!?

  • Slacker2387

    Seriously!…Have you seen my nail clippers?

  • hinks666

    fucking chastity belts

  • hinks666

    goddamn toxic avenger stinkpalmed me again

  • tommydaniels

    You’re not Jonesy.

  • chainsawqueer

    Wait, that’s Honey Boo Boo Child’s Mama?

    Are you sure that’s not her daddy?!

  • Marty McFly

    “Dude!! I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Geico!!”

  • Marty McFly

    “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!”

  • danielhegarty

    see, no fillings!

    (the fillings were how the tested each other for contamination)

  • danielhegarty

    can someone scratch my ass for me?

  • danielhegarty

    look, no hands!

  • BeRightBack

    I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one!

  • BeRightBack

    you’ve OBVIOUSLY never seen anyone with syphilis before!

  • Mr.Mirage

    GOD DAMN…
    …..DATA PLANS!

  • BeRightBack

    SOMEONE GRAB THE TUSSIN!
    My alergys actin’ up.

  • Mayday

    Kids, THIS is why you keep your arms inside the bus at all times.

  • russellg79

    When I was a child, I had a fever.
    My hands felt just like two balloons.

  • russellg79

    Get that finger out of your ear. You don’t know where that fingers been.

  • russellg79

    This is what happens when you play with your “thing” too much.

    • ryeis1

      I hate to say it, but if I were judge… we’d have a winner!

  • grayghost

    Holy Shit!! I thought two girls and a cup was gross, but two girls and a wood chipper is out of control.

  • grayghost

    How could I not go after my iphone 5 when I dropped it in a bucket of acid..the screen is like 1/2″ bigger..duh.

  • anunaki

    See what happens when you dont cook for me woman!!!

  • MaxTorque

    WOW! That IS my card!

  • MaxTorque

    I can totally do this. Toss up another M&M.

  • Archgoat

    Things went horribly wrong during Marvin’s American Idol audition.

  • JayAbad

    Large-button telephones…
    Not just for the elderly!

  • JayAbad

    I work three separate data entry positions…
    At the same time!

  • JayAbad

    Say “ah?”
    Doc, the problem is pretty obvious.

  • asinyne

    Give it to me straight, Doc. Will I ever play piano again?

  • asinyne

    I think I’d rather go back to just being shot.

  • d00dmuc

    Don’t burn me bro

  • jcat411

    I told you I would rather put my hands in a grinder than watch Breaking Dawn!

  • SkullBunnie

    Jerry…THrow the damn grape already!

  • Beelzebubba

    Ok, so if paper beats rock and Scissors beats paper, then Whats does Dloody Disgusting beat?

  • CptSpaulding135

    Wear your gloves when outside. Mutation can happen to you!

  • CptSpaulding135

    You want to tell me I cant count to 30 on my fingers?!?!

    ARRGGHHHHHH 29 and 30!!!!

  • CptSpaulding135

    Extra Gloves? You’ve had this pair of extra gloves this whole time?!?

    Yea… We’re in the Rockies…

  • kamiladamiec

    If shes lucky..she’ll get to see my oh face…..OhhOhh

  • wachuseh

    And the people back home say…now how come he don’t write?

  • wachuseh

    crime 101…never leave fingerprints.

  • wachuseh

    FINGER LICKIN GOOD!!

  • wachuseh

    Always have adult supervision while observing the 4th of July.

  • wachuseh

    After the, Fratelli’s let Chunk escape, they weren’t taking any chances….”first the plump little fingers.”

  • wachuseh

    “I know I said pull my finger, but Jesus Christ!!!

  • ghengis

    I thought my palms were only supposed to get hairy!!

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    No. It’s a cardigan but thanks for noticing!

  • cold-indrid

    Keep watching the skies!

  • cold-indrid

    Call Me Snake

  • cold-indrid

    Who goes there?

  • cold-indrid

    Suck it Wolverine!

  • cold-indrid

    KHAN!!!!!!!!!!!

  • bub4president2012

    DAMMIT…This is the last time I go noodling at Fukushima.

  • dudleydriller

    ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! I had no idea it was mac and cheese night!!!!

  • DEEPnecrosys

    And that, kids, is why you don’t hold fireworks in your hands after you light them.

  • xxxwolf666

    HEY! I can see my breath…and the inside of my hands!

  • dudleydriller

    Holy Cow! im glad i didnt stick my tongue on that pole

  • ZombieTotoro

    Guys!!!…..It happened again!!!

  • DUDLEY

    Why did I decide to become Snookies OBGYN?

  • porcupinetheater

    For the last time, Windows, no, this is not that weird Sumatran rat monkey virus.

  • Mistersam

    WHAT!!! That was the thing from the Norwegian camp? I though it was a roast pig!!

  • OneGoodScare9210

    It’s my money, and I want it NOW!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/buffyangel808 Ethan Steers

    What do you mean Kurt Russell got a cameo?

  • Evan3

    “Ive got 10 bucks… that he can fit his fist in his moth.”

  • Evan3

    “I just don’t know why… Nobody will stop and give me a ride”

  • Evan3

    “A Flesh Wound? I cut off your arm!”

  • Twelvegage

    Damn!!! That prostate exam went ALL wrong!!!

  • drmb1990

    Oh My Gawd Guys, She said she was clean!

  • drmb1990

    Went to go onto the internet and accidentally clicked on Internet Explorer…

  • BeRightBack

    I’d rather have taken an arrow…
    TO THE KNEE!!!

  • BeRightBack

    I TOLD YOU!
    THERE’S NOTHING IN MY POCKETS… RACIST!

  • BeRightBack

    KING KONG REALLY….
    AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!

  • BeRightBack

    I been pimpin’ since been pimpin’…
    NOW WHERE’S MY BABY POWDER!

  • SkullBunnie

    MAAAAAHHHHHMM!! Billy dropped my inhaler in the disposal again!!

  • Grigori

    Man, frostbite is a BITCH!

  • SkullBunnie

    AAAAAOOOOOWWW!! DAVE..GET THE BACTINE!

  • SkullBunnie

    HONEY…THERE’S A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE THAT I MIGHT HAVE AN STD!

  • SkullBunnie

    GASP…I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOOOO DAD!!

  • ThaRealSkratte

    Look…My shart is steaming!

  • ThaRealSkratte

    I got this from fisting Cthulhu!

  • ThaRealSkratte

    Damn! I gonna have an assplosion!

  • jesuseatspaste

    Thanks for the ride lady!!

  • Dark_Crowe

    Hairy palms my ASS!

  • copafeel4

    AH… choo

  • copafeel4

    Guys… how much would you give me if I can put the whole thing in my mouth?

  • cold-indrid

    Im BALDING!!!!!!

  • cold-indrid

    From Rob Bottin With Love

  • cold-indrid

    From 1982 FUCK YOU 2011!

  • kingcripple

    Dammit, man! You’re lighting your own farts from now on!

  • Keegsta

    If you’ve got cut rate insurance, it might not pay for this.

  • Fiesty-Cadaver

    Leatherface, you asshole…you ruined my Sonny Bono wig!

  • Fiesty-Cadaver

    MA, THE MEATLOAF!…What’s she doing in there?

  • Howtoloseweightfastt

    How to lose weight fast?
    http://howtoloseweightfastdiet.net

  • Lou

    15 years of piano lessons shot to hell!

  • Lou

    Trust me…Do NOT ask for a hand job!

  • Beezle2112

    Ghost pepper sauce hurts both ways!

  • Beezle2112

    I never should have had Indian food!

  • Beezle2112

    That’s more then one finger, doc, I can tell!

  • Beezle2112

    The f**king cake is a f**king lie!

  • KidKobun

    Who left the Cornballer plugged in?!

  • KidKobun

    I hate hangnails!

  • KidKobun

    OH GOD! I CAN SEE FOREVER!

  • KidKobun

    RIIIICOLAAAAAA!

  • KidKobun

    And that’s why you always leave a note

  • KidKobun

    Reach into the garbage disposal and get my ring she said…it’s unplugged she said.

  • KidKobun

    Enter the Bloody-Disgusting.com caption contest they said…enter as many times as you like they said…

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    Holy crap! Her eyes really are up there!

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    Did Ben Stein get contacts or is that Ron Howard?

  • doomedtolive

    The club’s initiation handshake was a little too difficult for Harry.

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    Do I smell pantene!??

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    Fat!?? I’m skin and bone here!

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    You’re kidding me!? I’m gonna be on the next Cannibal Corpse album cover!??

  • heffacholypse

    HEY KOOL AID!

  • HorrorMerk

    “I’m Sorry, but Santa ISN’T Real..”

    “…NOOOOOOOOOO!”

  • Beanis

    “I guess you caught me red-handed.”

  • Beanis

    “You should see the other guy!”

  • Beanis

    “Figaro Figaro Fiiiigaroooo!”

  • Beanis

    “I CAN’T squeeze the Charmin!”

  • Beanis

    “Barbecue, anyone?”

  • Beanis

    “someTHING is seriously not right with my lefty.”

  • Beanis

    “Aaah, my period again!”

  • Beanis

    “What part of, no ketchup on my calamari, did you not understand?”

  • Beanis

    “Maybe next time you should masturbate with your right hand.”

  • Beanis

    “The only Thing making an inferior clone of me is Universal Pictures.”

  • donbastardo

    YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN’ KIDDIN…..

    WHAT A SERIOUSLY BAD TIME TO GET AN ITCHY ARSE!!!!

  • thalazy

    THIS WAS NOT A FLESHLIGHT!!!!!

  • ladycenobite

    Damn! Why didn’t I splurge and get the Isotoners?

  • http://www.facebook.com/darren.bolton1 DeeezNuuutz21

    I told you I wanted COKE, not Pepsi!

  • Frij0lit0

    I hate it here! It’s cold, the cable’s out and there’s nothing to do but play Rock, Paper, Scissors.

  • AdamFearson

    I told you, I can take it! Just tell me how bad it is!

  • lionheart0855

    They warned me about touching lindsay lohan

  • miradotheblack

    I ALWAYS THOUGHT

    IT WOULD BE HAIRY PALMS.

  • miradotheblack

    This man just discovered

    THE INTERNET HAS PORN!

  • miradotheblack

    Am I still pretty?

  • miradotheblack

    Finally,

    I can become a concert Pianist

  • miradotheblack

    I bet dude can play

    a mean guitar.

  • amuse611

    “C’Mon Guys, I know it’s my 1st day, but who plugged The Meat Grinder back in whilst I was cleaning It ???”

  • amuse611

    “What The …. ?? There goes my career as a sign-language interpreter !!!”

  • ThaRealSkratte

    Is this what happens when you ‘shake the ketchup bottle’?

  • JayAbad

    I bet I’m not the last…
    To make a comment about hairy palms.

  • JayAbad

    Typing too many captions on Bloody-disgusting.com
    Results in SEVERE carpal tunnel!

  • JayAbad

    I guess I won’t be needing that vasectomy after all!
    …What? It worked last week, didn’t it?!

  • JayAbad

    Guys, I just saw the Thing!
    He went THAAAAAT! WWWWAAAAYY!!!!

  • JayAbad

    I just watched ‘Tree of Life’
    …Don’t waste your time.

  • JayAbad

    X…Y…Z!
    Now, let’s see YOU burp the entire alphabet!

  • JayAbad

    If you torch me…
    You will never learn the secret ingredient for my spaghetti and meat sauce!

  • niceguyeddie1971

    Alright, who turned on the garbage disposal?

  • niceguyeddie1971

    Lindsay Lohan said I could put them down her pants to warm them up!

  • HorrorMerk

    TAKE MY GOOD HAND CHILD!

  • HorrorMerk

    WHAT!! YOU ALREADY GOT YOUR iPHONE 5!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ryan.henry.543 Ryan Henry

    I got dick suckers cramp!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ryan.henry.543 Ryan Henry

    When ready to suck a cock, try not to pull your insides out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ryan.henry.543 Ryan Henry

    This hillllllllssssss come alive to the sound of music.

  • JayAbad

    Let me guess…
    I’m not invited to next year’s Christmas party!!!

  • JayAbad

    My eharmony profile picture…
    Is going to need cropping.

  • JayAbad

    Everyone mentions the shredded tendril hands…
    I never get any compliments on my perfectly normal feet!

  • JayAbad

    WWWOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
    Tea’s ready!

  • Conquistador

    Damn! Did anyone get that manicurist’s license number?

  • Conquistador

    Be careful! That laser pointer could hurt my eyes!

  • Conquistador

    Oh perfect… now how am I gonna surf Bloody Disgusting?

  • Conquistador

    Rock, paper, scissors… squid! Ha, I win again!

  • Conquistador

    Oh great… there goes my hand modeling career!

  • Conquistador

    So NOBODY wants to play patty-cakes?

  • Conquistador

    What?! Why do you guys hate my shadow-puppets?

  • Conquistador

    No! I’m sick of scratching everyone’s backs!

  • IGETIGETBLOODY

    I swear I sound like Adele.

  • IGETIGETBLOODY

    Aaaa-maaaa-zing grace!!!

  • Mr-Turdlington

    Palmolive? You’re soaking in it!

  • Mr-Turdlington

    What do I do? Well, I’m a hand model for burn ointment

  • Mr-Turdlington

    Look ma! Deformed hands!

  • Mr-Turdlington

    Couldn’t you guys have CGI’ed on a few more fingers?

  • SuperKilla

    How dare you accuse me of being the alien!

  • GrimDingo

    Heeeey you guys!!!!

  • GrimDingo

    Quick! I need my tasty berries!!

  • ryeis1

    THIS…IS…ANTARCTICA!

  • ryeis1

    If you have a problem, call Masturbators Anonymous… Because hairy palms are only the beginning!

  • ryeis1

    If you think this is bad, you should see my penis!

  • ryeis1

    You should see the other guy!

  • ryeis1

    Ask your doctor about Big Pharma hand moisturizer. Side effects may include: Skin irritation, rash, peeling of the epidermis, melanoma, and in rare cases, genital warts and even death.

  • ryeis1

    Don’t just stand there! Get me a tissue!

  • ryeis1

    And now I shall deliver my interpretation of the hauntingly beautiful song of the humpback whale.

  • ryeis1

    That guy from Videodrome came by and told me to shove my hand in his stomach for a big surprise!

  • A-Devils-Reject

    UNLIMITED POWER!!!!

  • JayAbad

    Aaaaaah. See? No fillings!
    Told you I wasn’t the Thing!

    • JayAbad

      Scratch that. Already taken

  • TEDDYX

    LOOK MA’ ….NEW HANDS

  • http://www.facebook.com/darren.bolton1 DeeezNuuutz21

    There were peanuts in those cookies?!

    I’m allergic to peanuts!

  • TwistedtheClown

    Sale at Forbidden Planet!

  • Mayday

    Jazz Hands!!!!

  • but-sir-the-piranha

    no reason to be alarmed, it’s just a flesh wound.

  • Conquistador

    Alright you got me, I’m the Thing…what gave me away?

  • GrimDingo

    Come on guys, an alien? Why would you even say that.

  • Conquistador

    That is the LAST time I let Jeffrey Dahmer do my nails

  • Conquistador

    We caught you red, nasty, bloody, bone handed!

  • Conquistador

    MOM! Knock before you come in next time!

  • Conquistador

    I didn’t know this could really happen… I thought that was an old-wives-tale!

  • Conquistador

    You’ll just take my word on it? Are you sure you don’t want to shake?

  • Conquistador

    I said “Pull my finger” not “Rip it off”!

  • SkullBunnie

    PHIL????? PHIL CONNORS????!!! Its MEEE…NED….RYERSON!

  • Boogie138

    what are you all standing around for?.. my fucking hand is melting!

  • Boogie138

    This is what it sounds like
    When doves cry

  • Boogie138

    look mom, no hands!

  • Boogie138

    oh man, i just touched paris hilton!

  • Boogie138

    replaced my hand sanitizer with a mutigen, very funny fellas

  • Boogie138

    alien? no, um… canadian, eh… fuck

  • Boogie138

    ***i know i can’t get a prize, not living in the us, but i think i have what it takes so if i win, donate my prize to a runner up. i looking for bragging rights, and this shit is fun!***

  • Lou

    “I want to hold your………..

    Nevermind.”

  • Travis

    MUST… NOT… FAP!!!

  • Conquistador

    You see what happens under Obamacare? I went in for a hang-nail!

  • Conquistador

    That is the LAST time I try to steal food from Kirstie Alley!

  • SuperKilla

    Go ahead, throw a tic tac in my mouth.

  • SuperKilla

    Who cares about my hands, just check my fillings.

  • Conquistador

    Two girls one cup? Why is it called tha-AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

  • Conquistador

    Dammit Bennings, we told you you couldn’t juggle chainsaws!

  • Conquistador

    You guys were right… Polar Bears are NOT ticklish

  • Conquistador

    ok smart guy… how would YOU get the Pirhanna’s out?

  • Conquistador

    FIRED?! But I’m GREAT with explosives!

  • Conquistador

    You scratch my back, and I’ll… no? Why not?

  • Conquistador

    Level with me, doc… do “hair transplants” really work?

  • Conquistador

    If I could do that again, I probably would have been more careful

  • Conquistador

    “Bennings, what’s the matter?”

    “I stubbed my toe!”

  • Conquistador

    I didn’t hear what you said after “pull the pin” and “count to three”

  • Conquistador

    Bennings learns snow blower safety the hard way

  • EvanDickson

    Ok guys thanks for entering! Announcing the winner soon!

  • Corpse-Licker

    For God’s sake…. DON’T eat the microwave burritos!

  • Isaac Urquiza

    I can still wipe!!!!

  • bigheadthecat

    Next week on Survivor..

  • Aliciousness

    I’m the True Engineer!

  • Aliciousness

    The results when you take 4 excedrin pm’s and try to beat off!

  • unisonruss

    Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

  • unisonruss

    Hey! I will f*#k you up if you make RoboCop PG-13! Look at my hand!

  • unisonruss

    Don’t you KNOCK, jeeze!!

  • unisonruss

    “I like turtles!”

  • unisonruss

    “Child! Take my good hand.”

  • babagloom

    “Losing!”

  • babagloom

    It hurts more because it’s cold.

  • babagloom

    “I have hand!”

  • babagloom

    Yes, my hand is messed up. But I’m balding. BALDING!

  • babagloom

    My wife is a slut!

  • babagloom

    Fuck. I think I’m late.