[BD Caption Contest] Four Winners Get Prizes In This Week’s Contest!
The First Prize winner this week is erck1 (please DM me your US mailing address to receive your Deadly Predators Prize Pack that includes a Jersey Shore Shark Attack Blu-ray, A Piranha 3DD Blu-ray combo pack (3D Blu-ray, Blu-ray, DVD, & Digital Copy and a Bait 3D Blu-ray combo pack (3D Blu-ray, Blu-ray and DVD).![Bait 3d Erck1 9 15 12 [BD Caption Contest] <i>Four</i> Winners Get Prizes In This Weeks Contest!](http://cdn.bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Bait_3d_Erck1_9_15_12.jpg "Bait_3d_Erck1_9_15_12")
Our new prize is The Loved Ones on Blu! We have four copies to give away so next week we will be announcing winners (and displaying the memes) for 1st-4th place! Get cracking!
Head inside to see the runner up for last week’s contest and to start this week’s contest!.
![JSSA BornVillain 9 15 12 [BD Caption Contest] <i>Four</i> Winners Get Prizes In This Weeks Contest!](http://cdn.bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/JSSA_BornVillain_9_15_12.jpg "JSSA_BornVillain_9_15_12")
Our runner up is BornVillain. Sadly last week’s contest had no prize for runner-up (even though this new week has three runner-up prizes) On to this week’s contest!
Rules:
1. We pick a still from a movie. You head to the comments section and submit your best one-liners, zingers, pathos riddled couplets etc…
2. You can enter as many times as you like and submit as many captions as you want, but each caption must be in a separate comment. Otherwise it will be too hard to tell where one caption ends and the other begins. Your entries can be posted anytime after the still is announced – just be sure to check that I haven’t announced that the contest is closed in the comments (you don’t want to submit your winning zinger after we’ve picked the winner). Also any racist, sexist, homophobic or generally hateful jokes will be disqualified. You don’t have to be insanely PC – just use your best judgement. Try and keep it brief! It has to fit on the photo now!
3. We pick the winner and announce them and their winning caption when the next photo in the contest is posted. We will address you by your BD Infected name. You can then DM me your US mailing address (no PO boxes) and I will send you your prize in a timely manner (i.e. you should have it in a couple of weeks). You must be a US resident to receive your prize!
![The Thing Caption Contest 9 15 12 [BD Caption Contest] <i>Four</i> Winners Get Prizes In This Weeks Contest!](http://cdn.bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/The_Thing_Caption_Contest_9_15_12.jpg "The_Thing_Caption_Contest_9_15_12")
1 Comments
What’s in your wallet!
If shes lucky…she’ll get to see my oh face….OhhhOhhh
At least I was’nt in a horrible remake
Don’t let the su- u -un go down on meeee…
Goddamn spaceship gps. This isn’t Costa Rica.
If anyone needs some help, I’d love to lend a hand.
That was a close one. Is my hair ok?
I’m telling you dude, that freaking fish was THIS big!!!
Goodness Gracious, Great balls of fire!!
Been told I’d be great for the NOES sequel cause I’m a dead ringer for Jackie Earle Haley. I’m gonna need a bigger glove though.
“This was my reaction when they told me I got the part of ‘creature #4′.”
Does anybody have a band-aid?!
Dude, put your arm back on. One of us is about to turn into the thing
Don’t you EVER put your finger there again!!
Set fire to the rain, check. Watched it burn, check. Now who’s going to let me touch their face?
Seriously not cool farting, man!! My mouth was open and everything!
MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT YOU SON OF A BITCH!
For the love of God, someone get me someone get me my hand cream!
This is what happens when I don’t moisturize!
Where’s the beef?
My other hand isn’t strong enough. You take my little hand! (Scary Movie 2
)
That’s the last time I make jazz hands in a biker bar.
Holy Shit That’s tight!
Show of hands if you think Obamas getting reelected.
This side of my hand is for caressing, the other side is for correcting.
to the two assholes in the back… A LITTLE HELP HERE!
LEMME’ SEE YOUR WAR FACE!
Hey guys, smell my finger.
My hands are doing that Thing again!
Oh yeah, let’s see you try to masturbate with these things!
Really, you’ll hold my BK double cheeseburger for me? That’s awesome!
Could be worse. . .I could have diabeetus.
Now that’s hot sauce!
I’m never asking Howie Mandel to use his soap again.
Oh no!!!! I suck using my right hand!!!
Well, I guess I’m going to miss five dollar footlongs this month….
What do you mean we’re out of toilet paper!?
Now I must find out who my friends truly are…
…for I must drop a deuce after burritos. WHO’S WITH ME HERE?
Maybe now you’ll listen when I tell you your plate is hot!
Does anybody have any gloves?
You can sit in the corner while the rest of us build snowmen.
If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.
How dare you accuse me of sticking my arm down the garbage disposal again!
Dawn Plus Hand Renewal Dish Soap….Now made in China.
Now with overly scrubbing bubbles.
“I’m a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys… we’re a different breed.”
Go get my boomstick!
Dayman….ah ah ahhhhhh!
The 2011 remake??? For the love of god, turn it off! TURN IT OFF!!!
Shit, technically it was a prequel so for my new submission:
The 2011 prequel??? For the love of God, Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!!!
It’s a boy!
Its human!
That ass was like this big!
She said she was 18!
There’s no toilet paper!
The shocking truth about masturbation!
What the fuck you want?!
They made a premake?!
I GOT THESE CHEEZ-BURGERS!
Look guys! It’s so cold I can see my breath.
They said leave it, They said it wouldn’t hurt, they said.
LOUD NOISES!!!!
The premake was good!
Is that Kurt Russel?!
Why doesn’t your hand look like mine?!
Can’t a Alien get some privacy?!
Let me use my strong hand!
Your moma is so fat, when i pulled my hand out it looked like this!
I don’t have the smallest clue why she left?1
Ghosts!?
Your human?!
She slipped and fell, I swear!
GUYS! HELP! Help me get my iPhone5 out of this wood chipper! I dropped it. It might be okay, right?
YES IT WAS ME, I FARTED.
PICK ME, PICK ME!
What do you mean she wasn’t pregnant?!
I dropped my keys!
Wasn’t that funny?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
You no love me? YOU NO LOVE ME?!
I only had a drink, give me the keys!
What you mean I won’t be in the sequel?!
Those aren’t my drugs!
Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!
Its my birthday!
I’m the loved one!
You really think I can sing?!
Would somebody PLEASE scratch my nose!
What contest?! HOW DO I WIN?!
How many pugs do you have?!
How about you stop shouting?
I thought you told me that it would only cause HAIR to grow on my palm!
I seemed to have pooped my self!
So NOW you tell me that the lotion was bad…
He said take the red pill, he said.
That wasn’t lotion?!
What’s wrong with my hands?!
Where is my nail clippers?!
The internet? WTF is the internet?!
What do you mean you cant find the box to my mail order wife?! How do I return her now!
My mom said I would just go blind! She never said anything about this!
Never high five Leatherface, ever!
Oh just great a freaking hangnail.
I try out for and X-men movie.
Sadly I lost
LUCYYYYY I”M HOMEEEEEEEEEEE
This is why wife left me.
I had fucking things growing out me
Puberty is a real bitch these days
OMG! My shadow puppets are going to be AWESOME!
They said I’d save 15% or more on car insurance by switching Geico!!!
Mother said I would only go blind.
The 4th Tenor
Why do you care so much MacReady? You’re bangin’ Goldie Hawn.
Dude… you’re just Captain Ron without the tan.
For the last time…. “I AM NOT CHRIS ELLIOTT”
Look at me, I’m doing the Taylor Swift “I can’t believe I won face.”
- Rock! Paper! Scirrors!
…
- WTF??!
- It’s “THING”. Beats all.
MY ERECTION LASTED LONGER THAN 4 HOURS!
I SHOULD’VE GOTTEN IMMEDIATE HELP!!!!
French fries! Get your hot sauce drenched french fries here!
IT’S GLORIOUS!
What the hell do you mean I could’ve saved 15% or more on my car insurance?
What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?
Come at me bro!
iPhone 5 has a bigger screen?!
Merry Christmas, Motherfucker!
Allow me to sing you the song of my people.
I can’t believe it’s not butter!
What do you mean we can’t roast weenies on my fingers?!
Daddy would you like some sausage? Daddy would you like some saus-ag-es? (haha Freddy got fingered bro)
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me,
FOR MEEEEEEE!! (Dude totally looks like he’s singing Queen haha)
Figarooooo….Figarooooo, Figarooooooooooooooo…..OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Guys, I know how this looks…
But I can explain!
And this little piggy went to…
WTF?!?!?!
Ummm…
Not it!
Trust me, guys
My hands have ALWAYS looked this way!
Soooo…
HEY! Do you guys think MacReady could be the Thing?
If you think THIS is bad,
Somebody help me with my zipper!
I’m a firin’ mah lazer!
oh no! my acting career is over before it even started
can somebody give me a goddamn hand!!
rhubarb anybody?
We’re you expecting, uh, the ninja turtles
The girls…. THEY NEVER SHOWED UP!!!!
Figaro… Figaro… Figaro… Figaro… Figaro!!!
Ermahgerd!!! I’m thur Therng!!
This is what you get when you spill paint in THE THING’S garage!
Come on Bennings, it’s time to give Lady Gaga her hands back.
You told me this meat was KOSHER!!!
My stomach was making the rumblies…that only hands could satisfy. CAAAARRRRRrrrrlllllll….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZUPCB9533Y
Let me introduce you to the REAL shocker!
I think we can all agree…
Next year, we vacation in the Bahamas.
Mom said I’d grow hair on my palms, but this is ridiculous!
Not my ding dong!
Conan was right, this pasta-shellfish this sucks!
Conan was right, this pasta-shellfish thing sucks!
MacReady,tell everyone the wieners are done!
The Thing 2011…..Noooooooo.
That’s a nice way to pay for college.
That’s a great* way to pay for college.
Not only does he sing, he’s the best piano player around!
Hey R.J. Does this look like frostbite?
Devon Sawa tried to warn me about this
“Side effects of masturbat-sin”
WHY ME LORD?! We’re the hairy palms not enough…?!
Mama said I’d grow HAIRY palms!!
“Side effects of masturbat-sin”
WHY ME LORD?! Were the hairy palms not enough…?!
guys! guys! i’m auditioning for BRING IT ON…the musical!!
how’s my SPIRIT FINGERS?
This might be the funniest one on here. Scrolling through many of these this was definitely one that stuck out the most.
“WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IMAGE DEPICTS POTENTIAL SIDE EFFECTS OF CONTINUED EXPOSURE TO CHIK-FIL-A. EAT WITH CAUTION”
Oh wait nope, never mind now it’s a tie between these two. I either one of these wins it!
im balding, im ugly, and now i can’t even use the one thing that women wanted me for…just shoot me.
HEY, STEVE, GOT ANY LOTION UP THERE?
A NEW SET OF HANDS, NOW I CAN PRETEND THERE’S TWO DIFFERENT CHICKS GIVING ME A HANDY
Madge, bring the Palmolive!
The jig is up.
It appears I’ve been caught, red-tentacle slimy humanoid handed.
It lasted longer than 4 hours. I decided watching ‘The View’ would work better than going to the doctor…
AND THEN THIS HAPPENED!!!
Does this mean you guys aren’t taking me with you to Starbuck’s?
THING WANTS PUMPKIN SPICE FRAPPUCCINO!!!
jeremy beadle eat your heart out
check out my poker face it better than my poker hand
Goddamn those Catholic Girls and their High-Explosive Chasity-belts!
MERRYYY X-MASSSSSSS!!!!
Oh your jewish nevermine
She was going to offer head.
Until she saw some my hand
Shit ! my compulsive hand-washing is beginning to get out of control!
Gimmie some skin.. no .. high five ! Fuck it, never mind.
Worst July 4th ever!
Let’s build a snowman, we can make him our best friend!
How was I supposed to know the difference between American and European electrical outlets?????
Bitch!? You stepped on my hand!
Children. Do Not Play With Fireworks
Well there must have been some magic in that old… Oh SHIT!
my hand got caught in the garbage disposer. but don’t worry im ok.
I thought you said the e-brake WAS engaged!
I am the yo-yo master!
Paddycake anyone?
College Prank #169
Hand cream replaced with Nair
This fall on FOX
Hell’s Kitchen: Armageddon
Thinking about anal sex… THINK AGAIN!
AHHHH IT TOUCHED ME… JUSTIN BIEBER TOUCHED ME!
funnnyyyy
OK! I’ll tell you what I want! What I really really want!
Tell me what you want! What you really really want!
I am here to CHEW BUBBLEGUM!
This is what happens when Arby Sauce gets on your skin
I knew I should have reached down that badger den
2 Bucks for a blowjob
Don’t tell me I left the oven on.
Does CGI hurt? I DONT WANT TO BE CGI!
I’m okay, it’s just a flesh wound.
Does CGI hurt? PLEASE DONT LET IT TURN ME INTO CGI!
No Mr. Brimley, I dont think its the diabetus.
Let’s just sit here and scream a while
Used BenGay after taking a shower; MY SKIN WAS STILL WET!!!!
Beat MacReady in Chess: HE DOUSED MY HANDS IN ACID!!!!
Holy Shit! The McRib is back!
I’ll tell you what, I’m never going back to THAT place for a manicure!
Look Look
I’m a chu chu train.
WUUU
TANNNNGGGGGGG!
With Carhart Jackets,
Even freakhands stay warm.
At least it draws focus from
his male pattern baldness
Lady Gaga’s
new music video
He is upset.
He broke a nail on his 5th pinkie.
I hope that is not
his ‘O’ face.
Record The new ‘Dancing with the Stars’
on my TIIII VOOOOOOO
Chicken Teriyaki is ready,
Who is hungry, WHOOO!???
My parents were always telling me if I kept playing with it I’d go blind, but they never said anything about this!
Oh No this didn’t happen when I played Silent Hill!
They’re replacing me…with CGI?
MARCO!!?
Seriously!…Have you seen my nail clippers?
fucking chastity belts
goddamn toxic avenger stinkpalmed me again
You’re not Jonesy.
Wait, that’s Honey Boo Boo Child’s Mama?
Are you sure that’s not her daddy?!
“Dude!! I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Geico!!”
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!”
see, no fillings!
(the fillings were how the tested each other for contamination)
can someone scratch my ass for me?
look, no hands!
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one!
you’ve OBVIOUSLY never seen anyone with syphilis before!
GOD DAMN…
…..DATA PLANS!
SOMEONE GRAB THE TUSSIN!
My alergys actin’ up.
Kids, THIS is why you keep your arms inside the bus at all times.
When I was a child, I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Get that finger out of your ear. You don’t know where that fingers been.
This is what happens when you play with your “thing” too much.
I hate to say it, but if I were judge… we’d have a winner!
Holy Shit!! I thought two girls and a cup was gross, but two girls and a wood chipper is out of control.
How could I not go after my iphone 5 when I dropped it in a bucket of acid..the screen is like 1/2″ bigger..duh.
See what happens when you dont cook for me woman!!!
WOW! That IS my card!
I can totally do this. Toss up another M&M.
Things went horribly wrong during Marvin’s American Idol audition.
Large-button telephones…
Not just for the elderly!
I work three separate data entry positions…
At the same time!
Say “ah?”
Doc, the problem is pretty obvious.
Give it to me straight, Doc. Will I ever play piano again?
I think I’d rather go back to just being shot.
Don’t burn me bro
I told you I would rather put my hands in a grinder than watch Breaking Dawn!
Jerry…THrow the damn grape already!
Ok, so if paper beats rock and Scissors beats paper, then Whats does Dloody Disgusting beat?
Wear your gloves when outside. Mutation can happen to you!
You want to tell me I cant count to 30 on my fingers?!?!
ARRGGHHHHHH 29 and 30!!!!
Extra Gloves? You’ve had this pair of extra gloves this whole time?!?
Yea… We’re in the Rockies…
If shes lucky..she’ll get to see my oh face…..OhhOhh
And the people back home say…now how come he don’t write?
crime 101…never leave fingerprints.
FINGER LICKIN GOOD!!
Always have adult supervision while observing the 4th of July.
After the, Fratelli’s let Chunk escape, they weren’t taking any chances….”first the plump little fingers.”
“I know I said pull my finger, but Jesus Christ!!!
I thought my palms were only supposed to get hairy!!
No. It’s a cardigan but thanks for noticing!
Keep watching the skies!
Call Me Snake
Who goes there?
Suck it Wolverine!
KHAN!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMMIT…This is the last time I go noodling at Fukushima.
ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! I had no idea it was mac and cheese night!!!!
And that, kids, is why you don’t hold fireworks in your hands after you light them.
HEY! I can see my breath…and the inside of my hands!
Holy Cow! im glad i didnt stick my tongue on that pole
Guys!!!…..It happened again!!!
Why did I decide to become Snookies OBGYN?
For the last time, Windows, no, this is not that weird Sumatran rat monkey virus.
WHAT!!! That was the thing from the Norwegian camp? I though it was a roast pig!!
It’s my money, and I want it NOW!!!
What do you mean Kurt Russell got a cameo?
“Ive got 10 bucks… that he can fit his fist in his moth.”
“I just don’t know why… Nobody will stop and give me a ride”
“A Flesh Wound? I cut off your arm!”
Damn!!! That prostate exam went ALL wrong!!!
Oh My Gawd Guys, She said she was clean!
Went to go onto the internet and accidentally clicked on Internet Explorer…
I’d rather have taken an arrow…
TO THE KNEE!!!
I TOLD YOU!
THERE’S NOTHING IN MY POCKETS… RACIST!
KING KONG REALLY….
AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!
I been pimpin’ since been pimpin’…
NOW WHERE’S MY BABY POWDER!
MAAAAAHHHHHMM!! Billy dropped my inhaler in the disposal again!!
Man, frostbite is a BITCH!
AAAAAOOOOOWWW!! DAVE..GET THE BACTINE!
HONEY…THERE’S A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE THAT I MIGHT HAVE AN STD!
GASP…I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOOOO DAD!!
Look…My shart is steaming!
I got this from fisting Cthulhu!
Damn! I gonna have an assplosion!
Thanks for the ride lady!!
Hairy palms my ASS!
AH… choo
Guys… how much would you give me if I can put the whole thing in my mouth?
Im BALDING!!!!!!
From Rob Bottin With Love
From 1982 FUCK YOU 2011!
Dammit, man! You’re lighting your own farts from now on!
If you’ve got cut rate insurance, it might not pay for this.
Leatherface, you asshole…you ruined my Sonny Bono wig!
MA, THE MEATLOAF!…What’s she doing in there?
How to lose weight fast?
http://howtoloseweightfastdiet.net
15 years of piano lessons shot to hell!
Trust me…Do NOT ask for a hand job!
Ghost pepper sauce hurts both ways!
I never should have had Indian food!
That’s more then one finger, doc, I can tell!
The f**king cake is a f**king lie!
Who left the Cornballer plugged in?!
I hate hangnails!
OH GOD! I CAN SEE FOREVER!
RIIIICOLAAAAAA!
And that’s why you always leave a note
Reach into the garbage disposal and get my ring she said…it’s unplugged she said.
Enter the Bloody-Disgusting.com caption contest they said…enter as many times as you like they said…
Holy crap! Her eyes really are up there!
Did Ben Stein get contacts or is that Ron Howard?
The club’s initiation handshake was a little too difficult for Harry.
Do I smell pantene!??
Fat!?? I’m skin and bone here!
You’re kidding me!? I’m gonna be on the next Cannibal Corpse album cover!??
HEY KOOL AID!
“I’m Sorry, but Santa ISN’T Real..”
“…NOOOOOOOOOO!”
“I guess you caught me red-handed.”
“You should see the other guy!”
“Figaro Figaro Fiiiigaroooo!”
“I CAN’T squeeze the Charmin!”
“Barbecue, anyone?”
“someTHING is seriously not right with my lefty.”
“Aaah, my period again!”
“What part of, no ketchup on my calamari, did you not understand?”
“Maybe next time you should masturbate with your right hand.”
“The only Thing making an inferior clone of me is Universal Pictures.”
YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN’ KIDDIN…..
WHAT A SERIOUSLY BAD TIME TO GET AN ITCHY ARSE!!!!
THIS WAS NOT A FLESHLIGHT!!!!!
Damn! Why didn’t I splurge and get the Isotoners?
I told you I wanted COKE, not Pepsi!
I hate it here! It’s cold, the cable’s out and there’s nothing to do but play Rock, Paper, Scissors.
I told you, I can take it! Just tell me how bad it is!
They warned me about touching lindsay lohan
I ALWAYS THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE HAIRY PALMS.
This man just discovered
THE INTERNET HAS PORN!
Am I still pretty?
Finally,
I can become a concert Pianist
I bet dude can play
a mean guitar.
“C’Mon Guys, I know it’s my 1st day, but who plugged The Meat Grinder back in whilst I was cleaning It ???”
“What The …. ?? There goes my career as a sign-language interpreter !!!”
Is this what happens when you ‘shake the ketchup bottle’?
I bet I’m not the last…
To make a comment about hairy palms.
Typing too many captions on Bloody-disgusting.com
Results in SEVERE carpal tunnel!
I guess I won’t be needing that vasectomy after all!
…What? It worked last week, didn’t it?!
Guys, I just saw the Thing!
He went THAAAAAT! WWWWAAAAYY!!!!
I just watched ‘Tree of Life’
…Don’t waste your time.
X…Y…Z!
Now, let’s see YOU burp the entire alphabet!
If you torch me…
You will never learn the secret ingredient for my spaghetti and meat sauce!
Alright, who turned on the garbage disposal?
Lindsay Lohan said I could put them down her pants to warm them up!
TAKE MY GOOD HAND CHILD!
WHAT!! YOU ALREADY GOT YOUR iPHONE 5!!
I got dick suckers cramp!!!
When ready to suck a cock, try not to pull your insides out.
This hillllllllssssss come alive to the sound of music.
Let me guess…
I’m not invited to next year’s Christmas party!!!
My eharmony profile picture…
Is going to need cropping.
Everyone mentions the shredded tendril hands…
I never get any compliments on my perfectly normal feet!
WWWOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Tea’s ready!
Damn! Did anyone get that manicurist’s license number?
Be careful! That laser pointer could hurt my eyes!
Oh perfect… now how am I gonna surf Bloody Disgusting?
Rock, paper, scissors… squid! Ha, I win again!
Oh great… there goes my hand modeling career!
So NOBODY wants to play patty-cakes?
What?! Why do you guys hate my shadow-puppets?
No! I’m sick of scratching everyone’s backs!
I swear I sound like Adele.
Aaaa-maaaa-zing grace!!!
Palmolive? You’re soaking in it!
What do I do? Well, I’m a hand model for burn ointment
Look ma! Deformed hands!
Couldn’t you guys have CGI’ed on a few more fingers?
How dare you accuse me of being the alien!
Heeeey you guys!!!!
Quick! I need my tasty berries!!
THIS…IS…ANTARCTICA!
If you have a problem, call Masturbators Anonymous… Because hairy palms are only the beginning!
If you think this is bad, you should see my penis!
You should see the other guy!
Ask your doctor about Big Pharma hand moisturizer. Side effects may include: Skin irritation, rash, peeling of the epidermis, melanoma, and in rare cases, genital warts and even death.
Don’t just stand there! Get me a tissue!
And now I shall deliver my interpretation of the hauntingly beautiful song of the humpback whale.
That guy from Videodrome came by and told me to shove my hand in his stomach for a big surprise!
UNLIMITED POWER!!!!
Aaaaaah. See? No fillings!
Told you I wasn’t the Thing!
Scratch that. Already taken
LOOK MA’ ….NEW HANDS
There were peanuts in those cookies?!
I’m allergic to peanuts!
Sale at Forbidden Planet!
Jazz Hands!!!!
no reason to be alarmed, it’s just a flesh wound.
Alright you got me, I’m the Thing…what gave me away?
Come on guys, an alien? Why would you even say that.
That is the LAST time I let Jeffrey Dahmer do my nails
We caught you red, nasty, bloody, bone handed!
MOM! Knock before you come in next time!
I didn’t know this could really happen… I thought that was an old-wives-tale!
You’ll just take my word on it? Are you sure you don’t want to shake?
I said “Pull my finger” not “Rip it off”!
PHIL????? PHIL CONNORS????!!! Its MEEE…NED….RYERSON!
what are you all standing around for?.. my fucking hand is melting!
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry
look mom, no hands!
oh man, i just touched paris hilton!
replaced my hand sanitizer with a mutigen, very funny fellas
alien? no, um… canadian, eh… fuck
***i know i can’t get a prize, not living in the us, but i think i have what it takes so if i win, donate my prize to a runner up. i looking for bragging rights, and this shit is fun!***
“I want to hold your………..
Nevermind.”
MUST… NOT… FAP!!!
You see what happens under Obamacare? I went in for a hang-nail!
That is the LAST time I try to steal food from Kirstie Alley!
Go ahead, throw a tic tac in my mouth.
Who cares about my hands, just check my fillings.
Two girls one cup? Why is it called tha-AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Dammit Bennings, we told you you couldn’t juggle chainsaws!
You guys were right… Polar Bears are NOT ticklish
ok smart guy… how would YOU get the Pirhanna’s out?
FIRED?! But I’m GREAT with explosives!
You scratch my back, and I’ll… no? Why not?
Level with me, doc… do “hair transplants” really work?
If I could do that again, I probably would have been more careful
“Bennings, what’s the matter?”
“I stubbed my toe!”
I didn’t hear what you said after “pull the pin” and “count to three”
Bennings learns snow blower safety the hard way
Ok guys thanks for entering! Announcing the winner soon!
For God’s sake…. DON’T eat the microwave burritos!
I can still wipe!!!!
Next week on Survivor..
I’m the True Engineer!
The results when you take 4 excedrin pm’s and try to beat off!
Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?
Hey! I will f*#k you up if you make RoboCop PG-13! Look at my hand!
Don’t you KNOCK, jeeze!!
“I like turtles!”
“Child! Take my good hand.”
“Losing!”
It hurts more because it’s cold.
“I have hand!”
Yes, my hand is messed up. But I’m balding. BALDING!
My wife is a slut!
Fuck. I think I’m late.