[BD Caption Contest] What Would Jesse Say?!

Near_Dark_Jesse_Banner_11_23_12

The First Prize winner this week is Lou (please DM me your US mailing address) you get a The Strange Kids Club Poster Set!

This week (ie for next week’s winners) we will be giving away a Mystery Prize (aka a bunch of weird DVD’s) to both the first and second place winners.

Head inside to see the Runner-Up for last week’s contest and to start this week’s contest!

Our runner-up is Googopqp – who entered so many times he was bound to get it right! Let that be a reminder to enter as many times as you want! Please DM me your US mailing address for a The Strange Kids Club Poster Set!

Our Third Place (no prizes for third but wanted to mention it) is DoktorH.

Rules:

1. We pick a still from a movie – or in this cas a clip from a movie. You head to the comments section and submit your best one-liners, zingers, pathos riddled couplets etc… In this week’s case you have to do is come up with a caption from the video below! It can be from the POV of one of the characters, or a comment on it as a whole!

2. You can enter as many times as you like and submit as many captions as you want, but each caption must be in a separate comment. Otherwise it will be too hard to tell where one caption ends and the other begins. Your entries can be posted anytime after the still is announced – just be sure to check that I haven’t announced that the contest is closed in the comments (you don’t want to submit your winning zinger after we’ve picked the winner). Also any racist, sexist, homophobic or generally hateful jokes will be disqualified. You don’t have to be insanely PC – just use your best judgement. Try and keep it brief! It has to fit on the photo now!

3. We pick the winner and announce them and their winning caption when the next photo in the contest is posted. We will address you by your BD Infected name. You can then DM me your US mailing address (no PO boxes) and I will send you your prize in a timely manner (i.e. you should have it in a couple of weeks). You must be a US resident to receive your prize!

 
  • JawsII

    I’ll have a double cheeseburger and medium fries, please.

  • NipplesOfSteel

    You all may think this is Near Dark, but this is actually one of many George Lucas’s latest additions for Disney’s new Star Wars box set.

  • JawsII

    Where to, Miss Daisy?

  • Desireeblood

    This is what 40 years of smoking cigarettes looks like.

  • Desireeblood

    Fight with curling iron. Curling iron won.

  • Desireeblood

    Girlfriend won fart contest.

  • Desireeblood

    Lone survivor of the Salem Witch Trials.

  • FreddyKrueger13

    Flicked cigarette at Chuck Norris, Burst into flames

  • Desireeblood

    Here’s some water for that third degree burn.

  • FreddyKrueger13

    Had staring contest with Chuck Norris, stared on fire

    • FreddyKrueger13

      *started not *stared

  • FreddyKrueger13

    What do you mean, This is Sparta?

  • icehockeyjoel

    When you feel a disturbance in the force, get the hell out of there

  • Screamz

    Is this where I audition for Tales from the Crypt?

  • Screamz

    These are not the vampires you’re looking for.

    • Lou

      Nice!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002589256633 Logan Rogers

    still smoking from holocaust furnaces

    • joesey

      what the fuck is wrong with you?

      • Mr.Mirage

        A lot, apparently (Pizzas don’t scream).

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002589256633 Logan Rogers

    meet the new marlboro man!

  • DSteele

    come on, get in the car
    you like twilight right?

  • Alex Brookshire

    Damn it Edward. You said I would sparkle!

  • Alex Brookshire

    You just went full vampire. Never go full vampire!

  • Whatsamovie

    Hey Edward. Betchya can’t do this.

  • Lou

    Note to self…

    NEVER light a fart in the car!

  • juggalochef2399

    If I was a little bit younger…I would be the goddamn Batman!

  • juggalochef2399

    Excuse me, I need directions to the Jedi Temple

  • juggalochef2399

    So you’re telling me I can do WORSE than Piranha 2?

  • TwistedCritic

    Pardon me…do you have any Grey Poupon?

  • MachetAY

    When they said I would be smoking in a movie with Bill Paxton I thought it would be Club Dread!!!!

  • MachetAY

    Give me that knife and hold out your hand Paxton!!!

  • MachetAY

    This Isn’t Twilight Charlie Brown… Starring Lance Henriksen as Linus

  • MindVortex

    Do you know how long I’ve been driving around in search of a Twinkie?

  • russellg79

    Don’t think about it too much, they always pick a lame quote to win anyways.

  • russellg79

    Resurrected Obi Wan from Star Wars Episode VII?

  • gwally

    Cheech and Chong???

    Pussies!

  • mray73

    “My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait ’till mom finds out, buddy!”

  • mray73

    *Sniff* *Sniff* I smell smoke. Do you smell smoke?

  • mray73

    “…it’ll be dark soon, and we mostly come at night… mostly.”

    • grayghost

      Hey, i just watched ‘aliens’ on HBO to.

  • RuddyDisturbing

    We can’t stop here. This is bat country.

    • Mr.Mirage

      AAAAH!! … coffee through my damn nose!

  • mray73

    “Let’s put it this way: I fought for the South. Not bad for a vampire, huh?”

  • mray73

    “Hey Louise, better slow down, I’ll just die if we get caught over a speeding ticket. Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?”

  • zombieholic

    does my skin look ashy?

  • zombieholic

    can you pass the ointment?

  • zombieholic

    funny story, i was smoking in bed last night…

  • zombieholic

    i ain’t got time to burn.

  • zombieholic

    bill paxton’s acting is explosive!

  • mrjawsbiteme

    Yo
    this be dope weed bro

  • abelafonte

    “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!”

  • abelafonte

    “Where is the nearest pumpkin patch? This old witch lady has had me driving in circles forever now!”

  • jesuseatspaste

    May the schwartz be with you!

  • icehockeyjoel

    I am supposed to tell you Uncle Maul sent me.

  • jstalte

    You’re lettin’ all the stank out.

  • grayghost

    Hey how am I driving, man? ..
    I think we’re parked.

  • KingJamesRichard

    I know what you’re thinkin’, but I swear we just smoked my last one.

  • KingJamesRichard

    *sniff* *sniff*…..tell me you didn’t just cut one in my ride!?

  • http://www.facebook.com/darren.bolton1 DeeezNuuutz21

    Yes, I smoke after sex.

  • J-SiN

    Can you smell what Jesse’s been cooking?

  • lloyd_the_bartender

    “I’m a shoo in for this year’s Billy Bob Thornton Jedi Knight look-alike contest.”

  • J-SiN

    Homer, you can speak with your mouth, ya know

  • HardRocker

    Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

  • betz

    i said it was puff puff pass!

  • Lou

    Be honest…does my spray tan look natural?

  • joe31183

    Gas, ass or grass, kid. In or out?

  • Zombie-Burger-Deluxe

    Is it hot in here or is it just that I’m a bloody thirsty vampire in the middle of the fu*king dessert?

  • DeadManZombieFan

    why have they not put me in a game since resident evil 4?

  • DeadManZombieFan

    yea them 10′s… but I keep em clean tho.

  • Joshua Michael

    It’s getting hot in here.
    So put on all your clothes.

  • HeatherL

    One day, I’ll patent this look, call it a Snuggie, and sell it to millions of douchebags.

    • Lou

      That was funny!

  • gypsygirl

    Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.

  • Googopqp

    Drink Viper they said…..it’s great they said

  • Googopqp

    Never again will I pick up a lizard

  • miradotheblack

    I found the spice.

  • miradotheblack

    I can teach you the dusty pinkie.

  • miradotheblack

    We find wisdom thru the burning bush.

  • miradotheblack

    My crotch is smoking…?!

  • joesey

    “No, I am not in Prometheus”

  • lloyd_the_bartender

    “Yes, it’s true. I am the secret indgredient to Eggs Erroneous.”

    • lloyd_the_bartender

      *ingredient

  • Trixxxster

    Wanna see my Pumpkinhead?

  • OrangeFlavoredSunshine

    They see me rollin’, they hatin’!!!

  • OrangeFlavoredSunshine

    Trying to catch me riding dirty!!!

  • OrangeFlavoredSunshine

    There’s no time to explain… get in!!!

  • OrangeFlavoredSunshine

    Your mom asked me to pick you up!!!

  • OrangeFlavoredSunshine

    Use Ios maps they said…

  • Jaws-Boy

    Please tell me…what is an Obi Wan?

  • Ravinus

    I should have won.

  • IGETIGETBLOODY

    I am so hot…Yeah fuck that song.

  • Laugh Riot

    Please tell me HOW DID THE FLAMING HOMO JOKE GO AGAIN!!!

  • Laugh Riot

    Chestnuts roasting on open flame. You start the Christmas song there???

  • Laugh Riot

    YOUR STILL GETTING COAL I WAS IN THE CHIMNEY WHEN YOU FLOODED IT GAS!!!!

    • Laugh Riot

      YOUR STILL GETTING COAL. I WAS IN THE CHIMNEY WHEN YOU FLOODED IT WITH GAS!!

  • Laugh Riot

    Arsonist still at large? Weird radio shit right?

  • Matthew West

    Look me in the eyes and ask yourself “Do i really want a hit of this?”

  • Mister-Barlow

    Let’s go. I’ll drive.

  • Mr.Mirage

    WWDCD?
    ……………….What Would David Carradine Do?

  • Mr.Mirage

    The real Fred Claus. Not funny, really, really not funny.

  • Mr.Mirage

    Just trying to get up the nerve to go to confession… why do you ask?

  • Mr.Mirage

    Ash Wednesday…
    ………….The day HE came home!

  • Mr.Mirage

    I’m late for the Masters Of The Universe meeting! They said it was in the Coachella Valley? Is this the right way?

  • Mr.Mirage

    I knew I should’a made that left turn at Albequerque!

  • Joey_Redballs

    Hey kid. Want some candy?

  • Joey_Redballs

    Yes, officer. I live in this car. Did you really have to ask?

  • Joey_Redballs

    $10 for HJ. $20 for BJ. And the Hepatitis is free.

  • Joey_Redballs

    You down with Hep-uh-tite-is-cee? Yeah, you know me!

  • Joey_Redballs

    *REVISION*: Ten for an HJ. Twenty for a BJ. And the Hep-C is FREE.

  • Joey_Redballs

    My loins burn for you.

  • Joey_Redballs

    I gotta see the doctor about this burning sensation.

  • xxxwolf666

    50 SPF my ass!

  • deepbluec1980

    “Shut up little boy. Let’s not turn this rape into a murder.”

  • deepbluec1980

    “Don’t just stare at it. Eat it.”

  • deepbluec1980

    “You boys like me-hi-co?!?”

  • TEDDYX

    These aren’t the droids your looking for.

  • Samhain2010

    “These aren’t the droids you are looking for.”

  • Samhain2010

    “Sandpeople are easily frightened.”

  • ryeis1

    Mind if I smoke?

  • ryeis1

    What’s the problem, officer?

  • http://www.facebook.com/stevenjaws Steven Jaworski

    isn’t it ironic? dontcha think?

  • ryeis1

    I been putting out fire with gasoline
    putting out fire…

  • ryeis1

    Is it just me, or is it hot in here?

  • ryeis1

    They told me the AC was fixed! It’s not my fault!

  • ryeis1

    Should we roll down the windows?

  • ryeis1

    That’s the last Pinto I’ll ever drive!

  • ryeis1

    Sing with me! I’m burnin’ I’m burnin’ I’m burnin’ for you…

  • ryeis1

    The warning label said do not incinerate, but who the hell listens to those?

  • ryeis1

    That’s the last time I do stunts for a low budget production!

  • ryeis1

    C’mon they said! It’ll be fun they said!

  • ryeis1

    WTF are you lookin’ at?

  • ryeis1

    Have I ever told you, you have beautiful eyes?

  • Beezle2112

    So, yeah, he passed.

  • Beezle2112

    What do you mean ‘Blue Oyster Cult sucks’?

  • Beezle2112

    Zoom zoom.

  • Beezle2112

    Man I dig Jim Morrison.

  • Joe-Banger

    Calvin Klein skin lotion for vampires. Its not a bad tan, Im just sun burnt!

  • FahKauffBono

    BRING ME THE HEAD…

    OF CHRISTOPHER WALKEN.

  • FahKauffBono

    Hey James, you got a part for me in Avatar 2?

    Or a couple dollars I can borrow??

  • Mr-Turdlington

    Old Dirty Bastard

  • Highpursuits

    Is it me, or does something smell in here?

  • Highpursuits

    Dude, what’s the rush?

  • Highpursuits

    Serious face

  • Highpursuits

    Who smelt it, dealt it.

  • Mr-Turdlington

    Never go full retard

  • Evan3

    “It took me five years… To grow this awesome goatee”

  • Evan3

    “You.. me.. staring contst…. Annnnnnd GO”

  • Evan3

    “Shower?… I don’t need no stinking shower”

  • gharles

    May I borrow…some lotion?

  • Googopqp

    I went full retard……now I’m out of a job

  • Full_Effect_Ed

    When there’s smoke, there’s…not glitter

  • grayghost

    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMOKIN’!

  • grayghost

    “jesus wept.”

  • grayghost

    “Dude, you want to hotbox this bitch?”

  • grayghost

    “Hey little girl is your daddy home..
    …did he go and leave you all alone.”

  • carlosrossi

    patience, young grasshopper.

  • carlosrossi

    smoke if you got em’.

  • carlosrossi

    only YOU can prevent forest fires.

  • grayghost

    I’m a firestarter, terrific firestarter.
    You’re the firestarter, twisted firestarter.

  • grayghost

    “Nothing a little fairy blood can’t cure.” ::wink:::

  • grayghost

    “Surgeon General warns….My ass.”

  • grayghost

    If you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast.

  • grayghost

    Don’t you mean “Hi, How are you?”..Officer.

  • grayghost

    “I thought it was ‘The sun’ll come out ..tomorrow!?”

  • grayghost

    Don’t drink and drive…
    …park and spark

  • KidKobun

    Pardon me,
    Do you have any Grey Poupon?

  • KidKobun

    What’s this $*#% I’ve been hearing about
    about sparkling vampires

  • KidKobun

    Don’t B Negative
    B Positive

  • Beanis

    Shut the door. You’re letting all the smoke out.

  • Beanis

    How do you like my Mother Teresa Halloween costume?

  • Beanis

    I survived the Civil War and all I got was this dirty towel.

  • Beanis

    What did you say about my driving?

  • Beanis

    Do you smell something burning?

  • ronniedobbs

    Get outta my dreams…get into my car.

  • mitchell09

    Yes Mary… I know how to get to Wal-Mart…

  • mitchell09

    Hey kid… Hop in… I swear there is some candy in the backseat

  • mitchell09

    No… I don’t have ‘time’ to talk about Jesus…

  • JVoorhees86

    “…were you serious about me smelling?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/darren.bolton1 DeeezNuuutz21

    I have a SCORCHING case of herpes

  • Beanis

    Use soap, it’s okay.

  • revfish

    Come with me if you want to live…forever!

  • JVoorhees86

    Correction: “Sooooo…were you serious about me smelling?”

  • JVoorhees86

    “You would tell me if I didn’t look nice, right?”

  • Beanis

    I don’t mean to pry…but I think you’re on fire.

  • Beanis

    My Mom told me to never ride with strangers but you look normal enough.

  • Beanis

    “No, that isn’t an axe in the backseat, now lock the door before I get angry.”

  • Beanis

    Ever see that movie The Hitcher? No? Good.

  • Beanis

    God told me I would burn for doing those horrible Pumpkinhead sequels.

  • Beanis

    Come on let me play Bishop one more time!!!

  • Beanis

    Why am I always mistaken for being African American?

  • Beanis

    I’ll have a bloody Mary…and a drink too.

  • Beanis

    Just call me Sister Mary Jugular. It’s Latin for thirsty.

  • Beanis

    Stop crying, eat the candy I gave you and stop calling me Grandma.

  • Beanis

    I shouldn’t have eaten those tamales from Taco Bell.

  • Beanis

    I quit smoking. Why do you ask?

  • Beanis

    Why do you call this car Christine?

  • Beanis

    No, I played Ed Harley in the movie not Haggis.

  • Beanis

    My boys are on fire for you, baby. Literally.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003525301662 Martin Collins

    dave?
    Dave’s not here man.

  • Lou

    So you’re saying the exhaust pipe should be outside?

  • grayghost

    It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s sunny… and we’re vampires. ..Hit it.

  • grayghost

    Why, this car is automatic
    It’s systematic, it’s hydromatic
    Why, it’s greased lightning

  • grayghost

    If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour … you’re gonna see some serious shit.

  • Beezle2112

    I’ll be Christian Grey. You’ll be Anastasia. You have no safewords.

  • Beezle2112

    I’m the man in the box.

  • grayghost

    I am ‘The Most Interesting Man in the World’

  • Krea

    Dink dink, dink dink dink dink dink!

  • Beanis

    Fuck Twilight!

  • Beanis

    Mom said this would happen if I masterbated.

  • Beanis

    No, Obi-Wan Kenobi is not my father.

  • Beanis

    It tastes like burning.

  • Beanis

    Not bad for a vampire.

  • Lou

    Believe in your smellf!

  • blackiesson73

    YEA….I’m sexy and i know it !!!!!!!!

  • blackiesson73

    I’m RICK JAMES…..BITCH !!!!!!!!!

  • muceo13

    Watch the upholstery

  • FleshRot

    DAT ASS

  • FleshRot

    Did someone say, under age girls?

  • reize

    “Do I look like a Jedi to you?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I’m Wearing this towel on my head because my asshole just made it a Sauna in here”

  • runningintocalamity

    “You ever had smoked balls aged to perfection?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Huh…..So this is Tijuana?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Showers?, We Don’t need no stinking showers!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “My daughters pregnant, where can i find Justin Bieber!!!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “What? Its called Heroine Sheik!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “You think this is bad, you should see the other guy.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Can i crash on your couch? Oscar the grouch kicked me out again.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Is this the audition for Magic Mike?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “You like my new look? it’s called i live in a dumpster!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Drive a hybrid and everyone gives you dirty looks.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Just read the script for AVP…AMAZING!!!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Oh shit, is that a unicorn?!?!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “See what happens when you don’t put the toilet seat down?!?!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “There’s something on my shirt? NO SHIT!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “You shop at Hobos-R-Us Too?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Thinkin I gotta fuck somebody before the week ends!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “She’s naked, and I’m a peepin tom”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Back up in your ass with the resurrection, Is the group harder than an erection!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Ahh fuck, chuck’s on a killin’ spree again”

  • Mr-Turdlington

    Mis pantalones estan en fuego

  • Mr-Turdlington

    Thankfully, my junk is flame retardant.

  • runningintocalamity

    “Oh no Me Underwears!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Damn that Roadrunners fast!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Do you mind if my crotch smokes?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I know its a nasty habit, but they don’t make Nicoret underoos.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “This is what happens when you go to hell wearing gasoline drawers.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “This is your junk on broil….any questions?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Good, Bad I’m the one with a smoldering crotch”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Sorry for the smoke i just gave Richard Pryor a lift.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “*sniff sniff* i think it’s time to flip my balls over.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Sorry for my appearance it’s laundry day.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Damn when McDonalds says caution hot coffee they ain’t lying.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “welcome to my home, there’s a quiche cooking on the manifold.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Have you heard the one about Drunk Superman?…Oh shit my dick’s on fire!

  • runningintocalamity

    “I don’t think Penicillin is gonna get rid of this one Doc.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Can i have a cup of water, Thirsty? no i need to put my crotch fire out.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Was she hot?!?! Look at my britches, need i say more.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Heated seats can be a blessing, and a curse.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “You ever seen a hotdog cooked too long in the microwave? well you’re about to.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I bought the hand warmers, what i use them to warm is my own damn business.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I’m replacing smokey the bear, Only you can prevent penis fires.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “One drawback of using baby powder, you fart and everyone will know.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Fire! duhn duhn duhn, duhn duhn duhn Fire!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “My pants, my pants, my pants are on fire. we don’t need no water let my Corduroy’s burn.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Yeah leather pants make your junk uncomfortable, but it’s worth it.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I’m telling you tanning bed seats are the way of the future.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Dude we have to find a White Castle ASAP!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Funny you should mention that all my Ex’s call me Mt. Vesuvius.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Never trust a kid holding a magnifying glass.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Great! my moms gonna be pissed i ruined her car seat again.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “And they laughed when i said i was gonna put a fog machine in, who’s laughing now?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I’m an amateur firefighter, sometimes work comes home with me.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I work part time as a male stripper, they forgot to oil up the pole.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “People keep throwing money at me like I’m homeless or something.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “May cause Spontaneous Combustion?!?!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “For the last time NO this is not the car from The Forsaken!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Nobody plays John Ryder like me bitch!”

    • runningintocalamity

      “Before anyone says anything i know Lance Henriksen wasn’t in The Hitcher it was Lance taking at shot at Rutger Hauer now you’re in the loop.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Anyone seen Damien?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Looking for a pasty white bald kid about yea high.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I have to find my dog Max, Nature created him. Science perfected him. But no one can control him.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Listen here Gene Hackman nobody shoots Ace Hanlon and gets away with it!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “The Mangler 2 = career suicide”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Did someone sing Take Me Home Tonight?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Not sure if you want to take this taxi, unless you’re willing to go downtown.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “C’mon I’ve got to get this car back to the set for Harry and the Hendersons.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I LOVE CAMPING!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I cannot believe you wiped your ass with this towel and threw it at me.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I’m calling you out Scrubbing Bubbles! Let’s do this!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I bet you thought turning over that Porta-Potty with me in it was funny huh?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “What the hell happened last night?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Found this outfit at the Goodwill.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Eau de Toilettte is The same thing as Toilet water i looked it up.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I’m gonna pop some tags,Only got 20 dollars in my pocket,
    I’m hunting, lookin’ for a come-up This is fucking awesome.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “You’ll never believe this, But i found Jimmy Hoffa!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “To Hell with AA I need a beer!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Look Bill Paxton you either shut it, or I’m gonna show you the knife trick again!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I’ll have a beer and a mop.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I could tell my parents hated me. My bathtub toys were a toaster and a radio.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap. He was in the electric chair.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “To be honest, It’s been a rough ride Barbara Walters.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I think something’s wrong with you car wash!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “This car is death proof.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I live my life, a Quarter mile at a time”

  • runningintocalamity

    “How can they see me?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Holy shit gas is $3.89 a gallon?!?!”

  • darkscarecrow

    Eternal life used to be fun. Global warming helped ruin that.

  • darkscarecrow

    If I ever get out of this sun, I’m changing my name to Bishop!

  • darkscarecrow

    If the cops pull us over.
    I’m a muslin with hand me down head dress.

  • SuperKilla

    Do I got dirt on my face?

  • runningintocalamity

    “Prom is gonna be fucking awesome!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Lucy! You got some splaining to do!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Sorry to disappoint but I’m not Stephen McHattie.”

  • grayghost

    “Corinthian leather..of course only the best.”

  • grayghost

    “Mammy, How i love ya How I love ya Mammy.

  • grayghost

    Hello ladies, Look at your man, now back to me, now look at your man, now back to me. sadly he’s not me.

  • grayghost

    Oh well, whatever, nevermind

  • grayghost

    I am the way!

  • darkscarecrow

    Thanks for picking me up! Now Drop me off at my brothers place, Ed Harley.

  • grayghost

    I may be synthetic, but I’m not stupid.

  • darkscarecrow

    Whats your favorite song? Mine is Jessie’s Girl.

  • runningintocalamity

    “Why would you bring Garlic?”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Got a message for you from Hell, Your mom says What up.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I’m so awesome i high fived myself, and then burst into flames from the awesomeness.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I F-ing hate parallel parking!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Getting that car horn that plays La Cucaracha, Best idea EVER!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Who says you can’t drive with a boot on your tire?!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Who is this girl Cyndi Lauper, and why is she SO Unusual?!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Sex is a beautiful thing shared between 2 people. Between 5 its fantastic!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “You’ll meet someone very special. Someone who won’t press charges.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “You’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen and that’s not saying much for you.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “To pay the fine would be admitting guilt. We haven’t broken a law. Not one dollar!”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Back home we got a taxidermy man. He gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “I can see it now. I’m gonna end up back in Brooklyn with a hairless cat. Called Lester.”

  • grayghost

    Sometimes i read some of these captions and i wonder if they are seeing the same picture i am…hmph

    • runningintocalamity

      Is the picture you’re looking at one of those with a hidden image? It’s a boat….right?

      • grayghost

        …Mine has a fisherman, I like fishing, but I’m not a very good fisherman. I always throw the fish back into the water, just put a band-aid on his mouth, tap ‘im on the patootie and let him on his way. And maybe some day, if I’m lucky, I’ll get to catch him again

        • runningintocalamity

          Lol i think the fish is gonna treat this more like a hostage situation, and try you in a court of fishy law, and exact revenge in a made for tv thriller entitled “Where there’s a Gill, There’s a way”.

  • grayghost

    What do you mean “Punch Buggy”!?..hit me again , I’ll rip your throat out.

  • grayghost

    Do I have a match? Yea my ass and your face.

  • grayghost

    Why is that friggin’ dog keep slammin’ he’s head into my car?

  • runningintocalamity

    “Fun Fact this is the same car Dale Earnhardt drove.”

  • runningintocalamity

    “Just got done with spa day!”

  • grayghost

    At times like this i think WWLD..what would lestat do?

  • runningintocalamity

    “Can i make a lamp out of your skin? because you brighten up my day.”

  • hell_razor

    PLZ…. Do Not Smoke in My Car

  • hell_razor

    who farted

  • darkscarecrow

    Wait,we can’t stop here…
    This is bat country!

  • darkscarecrow

    The eighty two’s allways were a bit twichy. I’m a 451 and I think I just blew a fuse.

  • darkscarecrow

    And this one time, on a road trip, I stuck a roman candle up my ass.

  • darkscarecrow

    You think your life sucks. Try being a monk with spontaneous combustion disease.

  • darkscarecrow

    Next Year, I pick where we go on vacation and I say Barrow Alaska for about 30 days.

  • darkscarecrow

    Didn’t you mother teach you to never pick up hitchhikers.

  • darkscarecrow

    Now that was a great yard sale! I got this whole outfit for 50 cents.

  • darkscarecrow

    Look Linda, I know James is a asshole! I mean just look at what I’ve been reduced to.

  • darkscarecrow

    Roles for next season’s True Blood are today. So are we leaving or not Marge?

  • darkscarecrow

    This better not be another Bloody-Disgusting caption contest. I hated that pic!

  • darkscarecrow

    You can stare at me like that all day long! I still find it ironic that the title of the last Pumpkinhead movie was “Ashes to Ashes”.

  • darkscarecrow

    Names Hooker, Jessie Hooker.

  • darkscarecrow

    Yes Severen, I believe in reincarnation!

  • darkscarecrow

    Your gonna pay for this Mae. The “Lawnmower man” should do it.

  • darkscarecrow

    I’m about to make a ash of myself…

  • darkscarecrow

    For the one hundreth time….No we are not there yet!

  • darkscarecrow

    I can to prove I was in the Cival War. For starters, I’m still wearing the fatigues they gave us.

  • darkscarecrow

    Listen she’s your daughter not mine. So as soon as I find a coffin, your having a long talk with Mae.

  • darkscarecrow

    Nah, I’m just not in the holiday spirit.

  • darkscarecrow

    Excuse me, but are you Sarah Conner or not? They sent me to protect you, name’s Jesse!

  • Audard

    mad max?
    shit, wrong movie set.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000055839932 Max Shoaf

    oh shit wats on fire oh its me!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/chewy.chew.1 Chewy Chew

    I’m sexy… and I know it