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10 Terrible Band Names

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Band names. Some can be amazing and incredibly catchy and memorable. Others, however, can make you do a second take and whisper, “What the hell?” These are names that also stick with you throughout your life but not because of the band’s music, oh no. Rather, it’s because the name is so awful or problematic that you shudder at the very thought of bringing up these names.

So, below I’ve come up with 10 band names that are simply terrible. Note that this has nothing to do with the quality of their music, but simply is a thought about their name. Check it out!

Anal Cunt
Let’s be honest with ourselves here and admit that this is a truly awful band name. Yes, I realize that Anal Cunt was meant to be offensive beyond belief (just look at some of their song titles for proof of this), but that doesn’t change the fact that this name is just terrible.

The Band
“Hey pal, I’m going to see The Band in concert. Wanna come?”
“Which band?”
“The Band!”
“Yeah, I heard that the first time. What’s their name?”
So on and so forth until someone gets shot. The end.

Deadmau5
I’ve actually heard people pronounce this as “Deadmau Five”. I was then forced to hide some bodies. Coincidence? Hmmm…..

Pain Of Salvation
Look, I love this band. I listen to them constantly. But DAMN is this an emo sounding name.
“You don’t know the pain of salvation until you’ve been at the very bottom that life can offer.” – Some kid with swooping bangs, black fingernail polish, eyeliner, and jeans that are cutting off circulation from their thighs down.

Destiny Potato
I’m very excited to hear this band and their debut album. But that doesn’t change the fact that this name is utterly ridiculous.
Also, somewhat relevant.

Limp Bizkit
What the hell does this even mean? First of all, you misspelled “Biscuit”. Second, no one wants a limp biscuit. They should be firm yet flaky, preferably with a pad of butter on top or some gravy nearby. Stop ruining a delicious breakfast staple.

The Who
Whenever someone says, “I’m listening to The Who,” all I can think is that they sound like a damn owl. Hoot hoot, have a tootsie pop and shut up already.

Fear Factory
“We’re so intense and badass that we took the idea of “Fear”, commercialized it, and are mass producing it in our factory. Oh, and we DON’T offer health benefits to our employees. Bam.”

Toad The Wet Sprocket
Taking your name from a Monty Python sketch doesn’t make it a good band name. Quite the opposite as a matter of fact.

Hoobastank
I hate you.

Alright readers, what are some band names that you just can’t STAND saying? Let me know in the comments below!

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Editorials

Finding Faith and Violence in ‘The Book of Eli’ 14 Years Later

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Having grown up in a religious family, Christian movie night was something that happened a lot more often than I care to admit. However, back when I was a teenager, my parents showed up one night with an unusually cool-looking DVD of a movie that had been recommended to them by a church leader. Curious to see what new kind of evangelical propaganda my parents had rented this time, I proceeded to watch the film with them expecting a heavy-handed snoozefest.

To my surprise, I was a few minutes in when Denzel Washington proceeded to dismember a band of cannibal raiders when I realized that this was in fact a real movie. My mom was horrified by the flick’s extreme violence and dark subject matter, but I instantly became a fan of the Hughes Brothers’ faith-based 2010 thriller, The Book of Eli. And with the film’s atomic apocalypse having apparently taken place in 2024, I think this is the perfect time to dive into why this grim parable might also be entertaining for horror fans.

Originally penned by gaming journalist and The Walking Dead: The Game co-writer Gary Whitta, the spec script for The Book of Eli was already making waves back in 2007 when it appeared on the coveted Blacklist. It wasn’t long before Columbia and Warner Bros. snatched up the rights to the project, hiring From Hell directors Albert and Allen Hughes while also garnering attention from industry heavyweights like Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman.

After a series of revisions by Anthony Peckham meant to make the story more consumer-friendly, the picture was finally released in January of 2010, with the finished film following Denzel as a mysterious wanderer making his way across a post-apocalyptic America while protecting a sacred book. Along the way, he encounters a run-down settlement controlled by Bill Carnegie (Gary Oldman), a man desperate to get his hands on Eli’s book so he can motivate his underlings to expand his empire. Unwilling to let this power fall into the wrong hands, Eli embarks on a dangerous journey that will test the limits of his faith.


SO WHY IS IT WORTH WATCHING?

Judging by the film’s box-office success, mainstream audiences appear to have enjoyed the Hughes’ bleak vision of a future where everything went wrong, but critics were left divided by the flick’s trope-heavy narrative and unapologetic religious elements. And while I’ll be the first to admit that The Book of Eli isn’t particularly subtle or original, I appreciate the film’s earnest execution of familiar ideas.

For starters, I’d like to address the religious elephant in the room, as I understand the hesitation that some folks (myself included) might have about watching something that sounds like Christian propaganda. Faith does indeed play a huge part in the narrative here, but I’d argue that the film is more about the power of stories than a specific religion. The entire point of Oldman’s character is that he needs a unifying narrative that he can take advantage of in order to manipulate others, while Eli ultimately chooses to deliver his gift to a community of scholars. In fact, the movie even makes a point of placing the Bible in between equally culturally important books like the Torah and Quran, which I think is pretty poignant for a flick inspired by exploitation cinema.

Sure, the film has its fair share of logical inconsistencies (ranging from the extent of Eli’s Daredevil superpowers to his impossibly small Braille Bible), but I think the film more than makes up for these nitpicks with a genuine passion for classic post-apocalyptic cinema. Several critics accused the film of being a knockoff of superior productions, but I’d argue that both Whitta and the Hughes knowingly crafted a loving pastiche of genre influences like Mad Max and A Boy and His Dog.

Lastly, it’s no surprise that the cast here absolutely kicks ass. Denzel plays the title role of a stoic badass perfectly (going so far as to train with Bruce Lee’s protégée in order to perform his own stunts) while Oldman effortlessly assumes a surprisingly subdued yet incredibly intimidating persona. Even Mila Kunis is remarkably charming here, though I wish the script had taken the time to develop these secondary characters a little further. And hey, did I mention that Tom Waits is in this?


AND WHAT MAKES IT HORROR ADJACENT?

Denzel’s very first interaction with another human being in this movie results in a gory fight scene culminating in a face-off against a masked brute wielding a chainsaw (which he presumably uses to butcher travelers before eating them), so I think it’s safe to say that this dog-eat-dog vision of America will likely appeal to horror fans.

From diseased cannibals to hyper-violent motorcycle gangs roaming the wasteland, there’s plenty of disturbing R-rated material here – which is even more impressive when you remember that this story revolves around the bible. And while there are a few too many references to sexual assault for my taste, even if it does make sense in-universe, the flick does a great job of immersing you in this post-nuclear nightmare.

The excessively depressing color palette and obvious green screen effects may take some viewers out of the experience, but the beat-up and lived-in sets and costume design do their best to bring this dead world to life – which might just be the scariest part of the experience.

Ultimately, I believe your enjoyment of The Book of Eli will largely depend on how willing you are to overlook some ham-fisted biblical references in order to enjoy some brutal post-apocalyptic shenanigans. And while I can’t really blame folks who’d rather not deal with that, I think it would be a shame to miss out on a genuinely engaging thrill-ride because of one minor detail.

With that in mind, I’m incredibly curious to see what Whitta and the Hughes Brothers have planned for the upcoming prequel series starring John Boyega


There’s no understating the importance of a balanced media diet, and since bloody and disgusting entertainment isn’t exclusive to the horror genre, we’ve come up with Horror Adjacent – a recurring column where we recommend non-horror movies that horror fans might enjoy.

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