Connect with us

Editorials

[Best & Worst ’12] Jonny Picks His Top 10 Albums Of 2012

Published

on

And so another year comes to a close. 2012, just like any other year, you had your gems and you had your flops when it came to album releases. For this article, I’d like to give you my Top 10 albums of 2012 as well as several honorable mentions that didn’t exactly make the cut but were too good to leave unmentioned. So, read on to see my Top 10 Albums Of 2012!

Make sure to check out my worst 5 albums here.

JONNY’S TOP 10 OF 2012

10. Lamb Of GodResolution (Jan. 24th, Epic Records)

Clocking in at #10 is Lamb Of God‘s Resolution, one of the earliest releases this year. What you have here is one incredibly catchy, groovy album with blistering metal riffs every which way you turn. The possibility that this might also be the last LoG album unintentionally makes it that much more fierce and immediate.

9. GojiraL’Enfant Sauvage (June 26th, Roadrunner Records)

The French extreme metal masters proved once again that they very well might be the future of metal. L’Enfant Sauvage is a punishing wall of intensity that walks that fine line between noise and beauty.

8. Petter CarlsenClocks Don’t Count (June 12th, Function Records)

This album would’ve slipped completely under my radar had I not seen Anathema make a post about how singer Vincent Cavanagh did guest vocals on one of the tracks. Listening to it, I found a gorgeous, rich album that shines as one of the best melancholic rock albums I’ve ever heard. If nothing else, the song “Even Dead Things Feel Your Love” would’ve landed Clocks Don’t Count on this list.

7. Carina RoundTigermending (May 8th, Dehisce Records)

Another sonically diverse album that blends infectious rhythms with some heartbreaking moments of beauty, Tigermending is a journey that is wonderfully narrated by Carina Round and her stunning vocals.

6. MeshuggahKoloss (Mar. 27th, Nuclear Blast Records)

If it’s sheer blistering, melt-your-face-off metal, there was no better album released this year than Koloss. The Swedish tech metal founders have once again proven their status as titans.

5. Bat For LashesThe Haunted Man (Oct. 22nd, Capitol Records)

One of the late releases of the year, The Huanted Man is nothing short of stunning. Bat For Lashes Natasha Kahn knows exactly when to fill the landscape with a wealth of instruments and when to dial everything back to the bare necessities. This is one of those albums that you put on and don’t touch a thing. Just sit back and enjoy.

4. The GatheringDisclosure (Oct. 2nd, Dismanic Distribution)

This album slipped past me, only recently landing in my hands. But once I started listening to it, I couldn’t stop. It’s mixture of rock, pop, and electronic, all sprinkled with a sense of nostalgia and sadness. Oh, and I have to say how much I love that horns are used on this album. The first time I heard them, I was taken completely aback. It was so unexpected and yet fit so well. Now, I kinda want more horns on everything I hear.

3. DeftonesKoi No Yokan (Nov. 13th, Reprise Rcords)

The most recent release of the year is also one of the best. Koi No Yokan is Deftones at their strongest, mixing rich melodies with crushing distortion, all held together by singer Chino Moreno’s commanding voice. This release only proved how unstoppable Deftones really are.

2. KatatoniaDead End Kings (Aug. 28th, Peaceville Records)

Much like Koi No Yokan, Dead End Kings is an album that mixes incredible melodies over fierce, vicious distortion. However, there is something about Katatonia that draws me in that little bit more. This album simply resonates with me on a deeper level.

1. AnathemaWeather Systems (Apr. 24th, The End Records)

Something about Weather Systems grabbed me more fiercely than any other album this year and hasn’t let go since. From the opening acoustic notes of “Untouchable Pt. 1” to the ethereal fade out of “Internal Landscapes”, Anathema crafted an album that is a celebration of life. In my eyes, this album has already earned the status of “timeless”.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Storm CorrosionStorm Corrosion (May 8th, Roadrunner Records)

This prog masterpiece from Porcupine Tree‘s Steven Wilson and Opeth‘s Mikael Akerfeldt is a throwback to the glorious 70’s era progressive rock. Sinister and daunting, it’s a difficult album to “get” on the first try. But subsequent listens prove how intense and thrilling this album can be.

Stolen BabiesNaught (Sept. 18th, No Comment Records)

This album is insane, twisted, nightmarish, and unbelievable amounts of fun.

The Birthday MassacreHide And Seek (Oct. 9th, Metropolis Records)

I love this band and this album only added to that feeling. Infectious electronic rock with innocently sweet vocals, it’s well worth owning.

Twitch The RipperColorblind (Aug. 14th, Metropolis Records)

Like I’ve said before, I have an unabashed love of the 80’s and the electronic pop that filled that decade. Colorblind hit that era and gave it a modern feel that simply made the music all that much more glorious.

BaronessYellow & Green (July 17th, Relapse Records)

While not what many Baroness fans were expecting to hear, Yellow & Green is still a fantastic piece of melodic hard rock. Songs like “March To The Sea” and “Little Things” get my blood pumping while “Eula” is one of the most arresting “ballads” (their words) I’ve heard in years.

GarbageNot Your Kind Of People (May 22nd, Stunvolume Records)

I don’t think anybody was expecting Garbage‘s return to music to be as strong as it was. This album blew me off my feet and I still shake my head in disbelief when I think of how the band still has “it” after all these years.

Daniel LichtSilent Hill: Downpour OST (March 13th, Milan Records)

Daniel Licht blew me away with this soundtrack. While the game had it’s flaws (that freakin’ combat!!!), one thing that it had plenty of was atmosphere. This was largely in part thanks to Licht’s phenomenal original score that breathed new life into what I felt was a dying series. I still listen to this soundtrack any time I’m driving in the rain or the rare foggy day rolls in.

Got any thoughts/questions/concerns for Jonathan Barkan? Shoot him a message on Twitter or on Bloody-Disgusting!

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

Published

on

Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

Continue Reading