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[Trailer Tracks] Dissecting The Trailer For ‘The Frankenstein Theory’

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Movie commercials offer us a great service; they not only show us which upcoming movies look good, but also which ones to avoid. And if one looks closely, they often reveal more than intended about the film in question. In honor of this profound art, I give you TRAILER TRACKS, an examination of upcoming movie commercials: What they say, what they don’t say, and what they say on accident about the product being sold to you, the excited chump.

Today’s Entry:
The Frankenstein Theory (Dir. Andrew Weiner)

Introduction:
Once upon a time, a bunch of knuckleheads took some cameras and went out to Norway or somewhere equally cold and not-America in order to test a theory that Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein story was in fact not a story at all. Not only was Frankenstein’s Monster real, but he’s still alive today, stalking angrily through areas both cold and not-American.

And since this theory throws out Shelley’s book as fact (while keeping her creature), this film crew specifically sought out a manic ugly beast-monster thing rather than the loquacious, emotional superhuman found in the novel. That way when they kill it, no one has to feel bad.

Well, they all died. This is the footage they left behind. All the footage. So there are bound to be some boring parts. Mostly boring parts. But every once in a while something cool will happen. Offscreen.

The Set Up:
So a young and stupid film crew treks off into the unknown to find Frankenstein’s Monster (hereby knowingly referred to by the erroneous name, “Frankenstein,” because that’s what the movie thinks he’s called. They don’t even pronounce it correctly). The trailer doesn’t give us a very good idea of how many victims we’re talking about here. There are definitely two dudes and one lady, plus a badass tracker guy. So at least four future Frankenstein poops.

Their plan is simply to walk through the snow listening for Frankenstein shouts. But almost as soon as they get there, they start freaking out. They hear the monster’s shouts, just as they expected to, but now it scares them. They find his tracks. At one point, they find a bunch of Frankenstein vomit in the show. According to the trailer, each new discovery makes them cry and run around for thirty minutes.

The Problem:
If a picture is worth 1000 words, here are one thousand words on why this Frankenstein trip is doomed:

And here’s one word:

TROLLS

See, the whole Frankenstein theory is really stupid and lacks almost all sense. Why would a character birthed in a 19th Century novel exist in the real world? And even if he did, why would he still be alive, today? And why would he act so different than he does in the book? It’s asinine.

Trolls, however, are a whole different story. Everyone knows Trolls exist. Didn’t you see that movie about them?

By walking around in the snowy woods following gigantic footprints and weird echoing bellows, these morons are mistakenly tracking a bunch of Trolls instead Frankenstein. Like Frankenstein, however, Trolls like to eat people, especially young, stupid people. So they’re dead, either way. The difference is simply a matter of jumping out of an airplane instead of jumping off a flying carpet.

The Solution:
There really isn’t much of a solution. Everyone dies. That’s just how most found footage films roll. And while this might be sold as a horror film here in America, up in Troll country they’re going to watch this and laugh their asses off.

Maybe things could have been better for these poor kids had they hired a real Troll Hunter. But the tough guy we see them hanging out with in the trailer is no Troll Hunter. Drunk and full of jokes, he looks like he could handle of couple of these guys:

…but no Trolls. And certainly no Frankenstein.

The film’s big stinger is that the trolls take all the dead bodies (and their still running cameras) to a hidden castle where they are feasted upon by, you guessed it, the real Dracula.

In Summation:
The Frankenstein Theory looks like one of the more boring found footage films ever made. At least Grave Encounters can put some scary stuff in the preview. When a found footage film commercial offers you no real scares, it’s not trying to be coy. That means it has none to offer you in the actual film either. Watch this film’s prequel, Troll Hunter, instead.

Editorials

‘Leprechaun Returns’ – The Charm of the Franchise’s Legacy Sequel

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leprechaun returns

The erratic Leprechaun franchise is not known for sticking with a single concept for too long. The namesake (originally played by Warwick Davis) has gone to L.A., Las Vegas, space, and the ‘hood (not once but twice). And after an eleven-year holiday since the Davis era ended, the character received a drastic makeover in a now-unmentionable reboot. The critical failure of said film would have implied it was time to pack away the green top hat and shillelagh, and say goodbye to the nefarious imp. Instead, the Leprechaun series tried its luck again.

The general consensus for the Leprechaun films was never positive, and the darker yet blander Leprechaun: Origins certainly did not sway opinions. Just because the 2014 installment took itself seriously did not mean viewers would. After all, creator Mark Jones conceived a gruesome horror-comedy back in the early nineties, and that format is what was expected of any future ventures. So as horror legacy sequels (“legacyquels”) became more common in the 2010s, Leprechaun Returns followed suit while also going back to what made the ‘93 film work. This eighth entry echoed Halloween (2018) by ignoring all the previous sequels as well as being a direct continuation of the original. Even ardent fans can surely understand the decision to wipe the slate clean, so to speak.

Leprechaun Returns “continued the [franchise’s] trend of not being consistent by deciding to be consistent.” The retconning of Steven Kostanski and Suzanne Keilly’s film was met with little to no pushback from the fandom, who had already become accustomed to seeing something new and different with every chapter. Only now the “new and different” was familiar. With the severe route of Origins a mere speck in the rearview mirror, director Kotanski implemented a “back to basics” approach that garnered better reception than Zach Lipovsky’s own undertaking. The one-two punch of preposterous humor and grisly horror was in full force again.

LEPRECHAUN

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

With Warwick Davis sitting this film out — his own choice — there was the foremost challenge of finding his replacement. Returns found Davis’ successor in Linden Porco, who admirably filled those blood-stained, buckled shoes. And what would a legacy sequel be without a returning character? Jennifer Aniston obviously did not reprise her final girl role of Tory Redding. So, the film did the next best thing and fetched another of Lubdan’s past victims: Ozzie, the likable oaf played by Mark Holton. Returns also created an extension of Tory’s character by giving her a teenage daughter, Lila (Taylor Spreitler).

It has been twenty-five years since the events of the ‘93 film. The incident is unknown to all but its survivors. Interested in her late mother’s history there in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota, Lila transferred to the local university and pledged a sorority — really the only one on campus — whose few members now reside in Tory Redding’s old home. The farmhouse-turned-sorority-house is still a work in progress; Lila’s fellow Alpha Epsilon sisters were in the midst of renovating the place when a ghost of the past found its way into the present.

The Psycho Goreman and The Void director’s penchant for visceral special effects is noted early on as the Leprechaun tears not only into the modern age, but also through poor Ozzie’s abdomen. The portal from 1993 to 2018 is soaked with blood and guts as the Leprechaun forces his way into the story. Davis’ iconic depiction of the wee antagonist is missed, however, Linden Porco is not simply keeping the seat warm in case his predecessor ever resumes the part. His enthusiastic performance is accentuated by a rotten-looking mug that adds to his innate menace.

LEPRECHAUN RETURNS sequel

Pictured: Taylor Spreitler, Pepi Sonuga, and Sai Bennett as Lila, Katie and Rose in Leprechaun Returns.

The obligatory fodder is mostly young this time around. Apart from one luckless postman and Ozzie — the premature passing of the latter character removed the chance of caring about anyone in the film — the Leprechaun’s potential prey are all college aged. Lila is this story’s token trauma kid with caregiver baggage; her mother thought “monsters were always trying to get her.” Lila’s habit of mentioning Tory’s mental health problem does not make a good first impression with the resident mean girl and apparent alcoholic of the sorority, Meredith (Emily Reid). Then there are the nicer but no less cursorily written of the Alpha Epsilon gals: eco-conscious and ex-obsessive Katie (Pepi Sonuga), and uptight overachiever Rose (Sai Bennett). Rounding out the main cast are a pair of destined-to-die bros (Oliver Llewellyn Jenkins, Ben McGregor). Lila and her peers range from disposable to plain irritating, so rooting for any one of them is next to impossible. Even so, their overstated personalities make their inevitable fates more satisfying.

Where Returns excels is its death sequences. Unlike Jones’ film, this one is not afraid of killing off members of the main cast. Lila, admittedly, wears too much plot armor, yet with her mother’s spirit looming over her and the whole story — comedian Heather McDonald put her bang-on Aniston impersonation to good use as well as provided a surprisingly emotional moment in the film — her immunity can be overlooked. Still, the other characters’ brutal demises make up for Lila’s imperviousness. The Leprechaun’s killer set-pieces also happen to demonstrate the time period, seeing as he uses solar panels and a drone in several supporting characters’ executions. A premortem selfie and the antagonist’s snarky mention of global warming additionally add to this film’s particular timestamp.

Critics were quick to say Leprechaun Returns did not break new ground. Sure, there is no one jetting off to space, or the wacky notion of Lubdan becoming a record producer. This reset, however, is still quite charming and entertaining despite its lack of risk-taking. And with yet another reboot in the works, who knows where the most wicked Leprechaun ever to exist will end up next.


Horror contemplates in great detail how young people handle inordinate situations and all of life’s unexpected challenges. While the genre forces characters of every age to face their fears, it is especially interested in how youths might fare in life-or-death scenarios.

The column Young Blood is dedicated to horror stories for and about teenagers, as well as other young folks on the brink of terror.

Leprechaun Returns movie

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

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