If I told you I was about to review the Roccat Kone XTD and Ryos MK Glow, would you cock your head and wonder just what in the hell I’m going on about? If you answered yes, then all you really need to know is they’re geek speak for total domination. If your only wish is to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women, then these sexy peripherals will help you accomplish just that. In PC games, at least.
Read on for my reviews of the only mouse and keyboard you’ll ever need.
First up, the Roccat Kone.
My time with the Kone brought up a mildly worrying question. Is it wrong to feel sexually attracted toward a computer mouse? I still haven’t found an answer, but even still, I can’t help it. The way its ergonomic design fit my hand, I dare say better than a glove. It’s smooth, polished exterior, begging to be cupped. It’s willingness to stay with me during even the longest of gaming marathons. I don’t mean to alarm any of you, but I think I’m in love.
I’ve reviewed some excellent mice before, but this one really stuck with me. It’s weighty without being too heavy, so you feel like you have something substantial in your hands without it ever over taxing your (read: my) dainty wrist.
Also, and I know this is silly, my favorite thing about it are the dual strips of LED lights that slowly blink between different colors. Purple, pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, then back to purple. It’s like those rainbow light show screen savers that you can’t help but stare at for longer than a normal person probably would. It’s oddly hypnotizing. It also makes for a fantastic distraction, just watch as your enemies find their eyes lured away from their monitors to your sexy mouse, giving you ample time to squash them with a Zerg rush. That’s what they get for building a support base before they get their Zealots up. Dummies.
Like any hardcore mouse — and believe me, this mouse is hardcore — the Kone XTD is stupid customizeable. It comes with eight fully programmable buttons and a 4D mouse wheel (I’m still not sure if that means it breaks the fourth dimension) and enough on-board memory to store every one of your macros and profiles.
Me? I have a single macro assigned to one profile, and that’s fucking victory.
If that doesn’t satiate your appetite for customization, this baby comes with a set of four 5-gram weights so you can choose how heavy you want it to feel. I prefer all four weights, because I like to get a workout in while I game.
If you’re a fan of technical specs, here’s what this fine piece of technology brings to the table, er, desk:
The Kone XTD comes loaded with an 8200 DPI Pro Aim R3 laser sensor — this definitely sounds like something Dr. Evil would aim at the polar ice caps as he holds the Earth ransom for one billion dollars — a 32-bit Turbo Core V2 72MHz ARM MCU processor, and the most advanced Tracking & Distance Control Unit available. Basically, it’s Skynet, packaged in a goddamn mouse.
If you like what you see, you can get it here.
Thought we were done? We’re only halfway there, and I may or may not have saved the best for last.
Next up, we have the Roccat Ryos MK Glow. It’s like the irradiated sibling to the Ryos MK, because this baby is illuminated.
Ever since I started saving my shameful gaming marathons — sponsored by Cheetos and Mountain Dew — I became a big fan of keyboards with LED lights under the keys. I don’t like gaming with the lights on, even if that means I’ll be blind when I’m 30. I guess that’s a risk I’ll just have to take.
This guy has an LED light under each key, no matter how unimportant it may be. Even F6 has a light under it, and I don’t think anyone’s pressed that key since 1996.
With their patented (I’m not sure if it’s patented) Easy-Shift technology you can completely remap every key on the fly. This lets you assign a new function to nearly every key so you can adapt it to each game. On top of this, you can store over 500 macros in the Ryos’ flash memory. That’s at least 499 more macros than I know what to do with.
Still not satisfied? Did you know the Ryos features ultra-advanced anti-ghosting with n-key rollover? It’s technology that’s so advanced, I have no idea what I just typed. Seriously. I’d need one of those Apple geeks to explain it, I just copied and pasted that line because it had ‘ghosting’ in it. My best guess is the anti-ghosting technology means you’ll never have to worry about a haunted keyboard. Roccat has you covered.
Speaking of neat tech, one of the coolest things about this keyboard is how difficult it is to get fingerprints on it. You would think a shiny piece of plastic would be a magnet for all sorts of hand grime, but not the Ryos. It repels those as well as it does ghosts.
If you like numbers, there’s a solid chance you’re going to lose your mind over the Ryos’ 32-bit ARM Cortex processor and 2MG of flash memory.
There are even achievements, because Microsoft decided to ruin gaming and now everything game-related needs to reward the player with achievements. Oh, you just spent twelve hours clearing Azeroth of Orcs so you could power level your Paladin? HERE’S AN ACHIEVEMENT.
Overall, I really enjoyed the Ryos. It’s a solid, hugely customizeable keyboard that looks great and won’t break the bank.
In the market for a new keyboard? Get the Ryos here.
HUGE thanks to the fine folks at Roccat for providing me with some of their amazing products. You can learn more about Roccat and their impressive arsenal of PC gaming peripherals here.
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This Week in Horror - May 1, 2017 - The Mist, Hellboy, Michael...
The Mist has an extra gory new trailer, Hellboy is getting an R-rated reboot, and legendary actor Michael Parks passed away.Posted by Bloody-Disgusting on Wednesday, May 17, 2017